Hearse Boy and Church Girl
by NightStalkerBlackRaspberry
Summary: Clare learns the cause of the mixed signals, leading to a waiting point before anything will happen between then, but it will, Eli and Clare are meant to be, at least for the time being. Eli/ Clare. Adam,Alli,Drew,Eli's father,Clare's parents Maybe Darcy
1. Ehh?

Hello there, I think I will put a small intro about myself here. I'm Katy, I'm eighteen and I will be a college freshman. I I love to write, but I'm incredibly self-conscious, but that is no way live so I am taking that next step to becoming self confident.

So, I might be doing a full story about Eli and Clare. 12-15 chapters maybe. I'm just wondering what people are thinking. I have to say I might have to ask for some reviews on the story here.

Does anyone know anything about Eli's family? His dad is mentioned on a couple sites, but nothing that gives anything to go off of.

I guess that being said, he will live with only his father, who in every other story was abusive and mean. For mine, he's just going to be a hard working man who provides for his son, he just isn't emotionally attached to Eli.

Clare's parents still have their issues and I haven't made a decision on what will happen with them, whether they will fix things or it will all crash down around Clare.

My goal is for it to not be the same as every Eli/Clare I hope I can!

Another thing I might do is put a play list with it. A song that goes along with each chapter.

Title:

Hearse Boy and Church Girl

Summary:

Clare learns the cause of the mixed signals, leading to a waiting point before anything will happen between then, but it will, Eli and Clare are meant to be, at least for the time being. Eli/ Clare. Other characters involved, Adam, Alli, Drew, Eli's father, and both of Clare's parents. Possibly some contact from Darcy.

So here is what the terrible part of my is going to do.

I am going to ask for reviews.

I have a couple questions, though.

1.) Should I do the story?

2.) Do you have any ideas you would like to see in this story?

3.) What do you think about the play list?

4.) Does it sound any bit interesting?

5.) Suggested songs?

Ahh, sorry for begging! I am really really really sorry for begging.

I want to write this, or at least half of it before posting it. Lately all I have been doing is writing and watching Degrassi: The Next Generation, so that means I could have it finished tomorrow.

Another thing to think about, has anyone watched the older shows, like Kids if Degrassi Street, Degrassi Junior High, or Degrassi High? I think I an going to try and Find them Online. Tell me if you know somewhere?

I really think I am done babbling here, so please give me your feed back?

If you don't want to review you could maybe, favorite it, or the alert it. Or me?

THANK YOU!


	2. Chapter 1: Mixed Signals

**Okay, so here is the first chapter and I am not sure if it will all be in Clare's point of view or if I will change back and forth, between the two.**

"Adam, wait!" I yell from several lockers away, I slam mine shut and run up to him. He takes a swift look around behind him.

"Where's Eli? I saw him outside this morning when I walked by the door," I question him, looking him dead in the eye.

"I don't know, I'm not his personal stalker, but you seem like it could be an option." he eyes me strangely. He shuts his locker and looks around once more.

"I am not a stalker, I just need to talk to him, about that project." we start walking towards our English room.

"Maybe he went home, that's the best I know," he says turning into the calming light blue room. I follow and take a seat next to him, in the row to his right.

'Why would he go home, did he say he wasn't feeling well?" I ask, my voice is taken over by the loud bell ringing over the sound system.

"Found him," Adam says, flashing his deep blue eyes to the door before rolling them playfully and turning his attention to Mrs. Dawes, who has all of her attention on the dark boy who just walked in.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, I assume you have a good reason for being late?" she questions harshly. Eli slumps in the seat in front of me.

"Like you wouldn't believe, I'll just take the detention, thanks." he says with attitude. I lean forward so I am inches away from his nearly black hair.

"Welcome to class, where were you," I whisper in his left ear. He rolls his left shoulder like he's annoyed.

"Places," he says keeping up the sharp attitude and turning back to face the board. Mrs. Dawes was continues to look at him for a second. She seems awestruck with this new Eli. She writes out the new assignment out on the board and we all copy it into our notebooks. She gives us class time to work on it, it is a simple poem, using all song lyrics.

Mrs. Dawes calls Eli up to the front and they talk for a minute. He comes back looking even more pissed than before, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"Wow, what's with Mr. Attitude, today?" I face Adam to is looking at me like he knew something. The bell rings and I get up to head out, Eli remains in place. I give Adam a look and leave the room. Mildly upset I go to my locker and take the books and binders I need for homework out, and place them in my bag. On my way to my bus I pass Mrs. Dawes room and see Eli in there writing, she must have him serving detention in there.

I get on the bus and I am hit with the smell of teenage boy and gym clothes, not a good mix. I sit in a seat near the front and endure the scent for five minutes.

Once I am safe in the clean scent of my home, I sit at the desk in my room and pull out my English notebook. I read through the bullet points and chose a single CD album form my shelf. I put out Kutless: Hearts of the Innocent. A Christian rock CD that once belonged to Darcy.

Glancing at the paper I read that it must contain one line from each song on the record, in no particular order. I start the CD in my computer and scribble down the lyrics.

_You tell me it's nothing but I see it's something in your eyes_

_I forgot how quickly things can change_

_Don't give in to everything the world around tells you to be_

_I know that words are not always what speak_

_But you can't prove that everything is filled with empty words_

_And how it breaks me to see how we're living and punishing the ones that need us to care_

_Some things you may never understand_

_Nightmares of the past will fade away_

_I am holding on to the hope I have insideSo, tell me all your fears and what you're longing for the most_

_The grass isn't greener on this lonely side _

_It's my reward for stepping into the moment as I am seizing the day _

I shut my notebook and stuff it into my backpack, I take out my math homework and begin to solve simple algebra problems.

After I finish my homework I go downstairs to find my parents arguing, rushing back up instantly. I turn my computer back on and open up my instant messenger. I peer through my online contacts, Adam, Eli, Alli, and Darcy is online, but set to away. I decide to send Eli a message.

**Clare-e23: Hey Eli.**

_**Eli-gold49 is offline**_**.**

I sign deeply, hurt. I double click on Darcy and start an email to her.

"Hey, Darc. I hope everything is great in Kenya. I miss you sooo much! I wish I could say that things were great around here, but they aren't L Mom and dad have been fighting non-stop it seems, everything was so great when you were here. Also there is this boy….. His names Eli, he's cute, dark, a little mysterious. UGH! He's been acting weird for the past two days. He won't talk to me and he's gotten a rotten attitude, since we did a movie shoot with our friend Adam, for English. We kissed for the movie, and he seemed happy after. Darcy, I wish you were here and that you could help me with this. Oh well, I am going to go find something to eat for dinner, since I don't see mom making it anytime soon, love and miss you. Clare."

I bite lip and click send, I go back down stairs and avoid my feuding parents and open the freezer and pull out a hot pocket, after microwaving it for two minutes I sit at the table and start to eat.

"Why can't you stay home, just one night,' my mom yells at my father.

"I'm sorry are you saying that you don't like eating and having a roof over your head? I don't see you working overtime to keep the house." he screams back.

"I don't need to work over time, neither do you! The house is in no danger!" she screams. I push my plate away, after losing my appetite. I get up and storm out the front door, slamming it shut. I sit on the steps, crying into my hands.

**That's it, let me know what you though, if you'd like?**


	3. Chapter 2: Time Heals All Wounds

**Here's chapter two. I decided on switching them up. I hope you like it.**

I shut my laptop and bite hard into my bottom lip. I don't like doing this to Clare anymore than she likes me doing it to her. I put my school items away and lay down in my bed. I don't know what to do about her anymore, I am not sure how much longer I can hold in my feelings for her. I need advice. I take my phone out to text Adam.

_Dude, I need girl advice._

I set down my phone along my right side and stare at my ceiling. I already told Adam about Julia and ended our conversation there, that was yesterday. We haven't talked at all since, seeing as I quickly took off to go home after. My phone vibrates.

_I'll try my best?_

_It's about Clare._

I text back, and continue my chain of thoughts. I shouldn't have ran out after telling him, I just didn't want to hear what I knew he'd say. "You should just tell Clare, instead of ignoring her and being mean." my phone goes off again.

_Want to meet up? Or just text?_

_Meet up, Dot?_

I type quickly and get off my bed. I go and grab my solid black skating sneakers, not that I really skated anymore. I slide them on and leave my room, shutting the door tightly.

"I'm going out, dad," I yell down a hallway. 'Not that you really care," I mumble to myself. I grab my keys off key holder hanging to the right of the door. "Bye," I try once more. With no answer I slam the door and get into Morty, I check my phone before starting the car. Sure enough Adam had texted me back agreeing to meet me at The Dot.

I take the drive slowly towards The Dot, since Adam would be walking. I look around at my surrounding as I drive. I turn down Clare's street, just to torture myself a little more. As I near her house I feel a little uneasy and debate turning around. Despite my internal debate I continue slowly towards her house. I can see a figure sitting on the steps from a few houses away, I reconsider turning around.

Something makes me keep going, just to see who it is. I roll down my window for a more clear view. It's Clare, of course. Only she appears to be crying, guilt strikes me hard in the stomach, is she crying because of me? I question myself.

She looks up and sees me, burring her face deeper in her hands. I couldn't just drive away, even though everything inside me said to. I quick pull out my phone and text Adam to go home. I pull to the side of the road opposite her house. Stepping out and shutting the door I start to head to her. She looks up confused and appears more upset.

"Clare," I say just more than a whisper, because guilt was wrapping its fists around my throat. She stands up and looks about to go inside. 'Wait," I manage to speak up.

"Why, so you can just freak out again?" her words shake from the tears, and something inside me breaks even more.

"Clare, I'm sorry. Come sit," I sit just to the right of where she was seconds before. She does what I suggest and at that I am shocked. She wipes the tears away, only for them to be replaced with a new wave. She shakes lightly in her fit of sobs, I instinctively wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her close.

"What's wrong?" I ask nibbling at my lip hoping her answer was something other then myself. She looks at me, she pale face a light pink and her eyes, bloodshot.

"You, them, everything," she responds letting her tears free. I pull her closer and she turns and rests her head on my shoulder. Using my left hand from around her shoulder I remove a few damp strands of hair from her face.

"Clare, I'm so sorry, I think we need to talk." I say rubbing gently at her back. "First I want to know what brought you pretty face to tears." At this she sobs harder, before making eye contact.

"Eli, that right there. One second you like me the next you…I don't know hate me." She cries. The guilt comes back tightening it's grip. "My parents, they just won't stop fighting for a second." I pull her into a hug, trying not to make it worse on my part of the fault.

"Clare, I like you. I do, a lot. There are just things that you don't know, about my past. It's a dark place, and I don't deserve you." she sniffs and I wipe the slowing tears away with my sleeve.

"Then tell me," she says, sounding like she has a cold. I am not sure I have given myself much of a choice in telling her about Julia.

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" I ask wearily. She nods, I get up and help her up and we relocate to the swing in her front yard.

"Well last year, I killed my girlfriend." I start feeling slightly choked up. She gives me a terrified look. "Don't freak out, Clare. We got into a fight and it was bad, I was awfully nasty to her, said things I wish I could take back. It was late and she rode away on her bike." I swallow hard. "Her mom called me later that night bawling, saying that she had been hit by a car, and died on the scene." I shut my eyes, and reopen them in a few seconds. The first thing I see is Clare, she looks better now, a different kind of upset.

"I'm so sorry, Eli. I-I don't know what to say,' she rushes the words, then sniffles again.

"Why should I get to be happy?" I ask, not to her exactly. Clare's face looks like she's adding things up. "I just don't know, I don't want to hurt you."

"Maybe if you just had some time to sort these things out?" I smile, knowing that is what I needed, time.

"Clare, I like that idea." She smiles too. I am glad to see her smile, knowing it is my fault. "Thanks for hearing what I had to say. Now what do you say we find away to cheer you up so those pretty blue eyes will light up like usually,"

"I'm glad you told me," she says. "What did you have in mind?" she seems intrigued by my suggestion.

"I'm thinking that no one can be sad while eating a chocolate ice cream cone," I jump up, offering a friendly helping hand. She takes a look at her house, and grabs my hand pulling herself up. We walk to Morty and drive off to the ice cream parlor a couple miles away.

**So, I hope you liked it. Don't be shy about reviewing, but no pressure. ****J**


	4. Chapter 3: Just Firends, Okay

**Chapter three! Haha, I like this story, so here you go.**

I wake up and think about the amazing time I had with Eli the previous night, I was glad he told me what was going on with him. I was more than ok with waiting, giving him time to sort things out. I really cared for Eli, whether we take that next step eventually or not, I am glad he's in my life. He is the reason I got over my writers block, and he's helping with my parental issues.

I go to my closet and try to figure out what to wear. I make my decision and get dressed into mid-calf gray leggings and a light blue button down dress, I comb through my curls and slide into some black flats. I look at myself in the mirror and let out a small laugh. After putting my contacts in I feel much more confident in the way I look, seeing as I no longer looked like a smudge of blue marker on my mirror.

Before running out the door to catch the bus, I get my bad and a granola bar from the cupboard. I eat the granola bar quickly and stare out the window. When we pull up to the school I can't help but smile when I see Eli and Adam standing in the spot we normally would meet up before school. I head over there when I see Alli, I give her a wave, but don't stop to talk. We aren't as close as we used to be, but I don't totally mind.

"You look better," Eli says smirking in my direction. I can't hide the smile forming on my lips, as I feel my cheeks getting hotter.

"Sorry, Clare, I would have told you, if my life wasn't on the line there. I only knew a day more than you though." Adam says apologetically. I smile at him and offer an arm to each boy as I turn to face the school. They each accept and are, Adam on my left, Eli to the right. We walk happily into the school.

We part for our first few classes but meet back up for lunch. We sit at our usual table out on the front lawn of Degrassi. We joke around for a little, that is when I decided being just friends, would work.

"What are you guys doing on Friday, or Saturday?" I ask, with an idea in mind. Eli and Adam glance to each other before simultaneously responding.

"Nothing, why?" I can't hold in the small giggle that formed and they both let out a laugh.

"Well I was thinking there is that carnival over the weekend, I was wondering if you guys wanted to go together," I ask hopefully. Judging by Eli's smile, he was interested, Adam's nod was also quite reassuring.

"Clare, did you do the English assignment that's due Thursday?" Eli asks, making eye contact.

'You mean, due tomorrow? Yes I did it last night," I nod, somewhat obnoxiously. He looks into our school planners and his eyes grow wide.

"Someone remind me to do it tonight?" he looks nervously between Adam and I. Adam shares a look of panic, along with Eli.

"I will, remind you both apparently." Adam looks relieved, I smile again.

"I'm glad you two talked. You guys are my only real friends here, it was killing me to see you guys that way." Adam gives Eli an almost dirty look as if blaming him.

"Me too," I agree. Eli nods in agreement. The end of lunch bell rings and we all make our way to Mrs. Dawes classroom, Adam and I take our seat s, but Eli heads up front to Mrs. Dawes desk, where she is sitting and what I guess would be grading papers.

"I had to apologize for my outburst yesterday afternoon in class." he says before sitting down. Mrs. Dawes talks a little about out next upcoming project and gives us the rest of the class to work, which Eli, Adam, and I take as talking time. The final bell rings, we all rush to the door, to get home. I go to my locker and out to my bus.

When I get home I follow my usual routine of; homework, listen to them fight, make myself dinner, eat, shower, then bed. But before I shower I text the boys reminding them to do the poem. I get in bed after my shower and start to read my book before going to sleep.

**Ehh, ehh? What do you think?**


	5. Chapter 4: Tonight Will Be The Night

Well, this is the second time I am writing chapter four. My cat stepped on my power button on my laptop, two thousand plus words gone.

Saturday morning, finally I have been waiting for this day, since Wednesday, when Clare suggested we go. I need a fun time out, no drama, no school. Personally I love the thrill of carnival rides. I don't know for sure what it is, the speed, the spinning, the twisting, or the fact that they all came out of a train car.

I rub the sleep from my eyes, stretch, then go limp on my bed. I sigh, I don't want to get out of my bed, it's warm, comfortable and welcoming. Despite my comfort I get up out of bed and check the time. It's nearly noon, I am supposed to be leaving in just over an hour.

I go to my closet and pull out a simple outfit consisting of; black skinny jeans, a loose gray button up shirt, a black under shirt, and a vest. I throw them on my bed and from my dresser I grab a clean pair of socks and boxers. Gathering my clothes in my arms I go into my bathroom, and shower.

After I shower and get dressed I go into the kitchen and toast two pieces of bread, while they are toasting I check my phone.

_Hey what time did we decide on leaving? _From Clare, and,

_How late do I tell my mom I'll be out? _From Adam.

I text Clare, saying that I thought one. And then text Adam, saying that probably late, and inviting him to just stay here tonight. My toast pops up and I put both slices on a napkin, with a butter knife, I spread some peanut butter on each slice. I sit alone at my kitchen table eating, and thinking.

I think about Clare, which I find myself doing more and more lately. I thought about her feelings and I know more and more everyday I like her more. I debate with myself if I should just ask her out. It isn't that I don't want to, I just don't think I deserve her, why should I be happy when Julia can't. When her family can't be. I thought more about Julia and realized that, unless she was still mad at me, she wouldn't want me to be so upset about her.

Clare, when her name comes into my mind I think about her gentle face, then I remember a few nights ago when I first saw her cry. That killed me, my heart felt like it was being torn to pieces. Adding in the thought of knowing it was partly my fault, I was broken up. I really just don't want to hurt her. Sighing, I clean up after my small breakfast and check the time again, twelve thirty.

Time was going by so slow, so I continued to think about my Clare situation. I went back and forth with myself, ultimately knowing I was ready to try things with her. I knew she was strong and understood me, and my complexes. I smile to myself after my fifteen minute debate with myself, I was happy. I put my shoes on. I check myself out in the mirror and decide to comb my hair once more, it is nearly dry. I almost forget my rings, necklace, and leather strap, wristband.

I grab my keys and sit in Morty for a minute. I take my phone out and text Adam.

_On my way, tell Clare._

I turn the key in the ignition, and make a right out of my driveway. Five minutes later, or so, I pull up to Adam's house. I honk twice, not too long or loudly, and see a hand wave in the window, seconds later Adam in opening the door.

"Hey," he climbs me putting a backpack between us on the seat. I ignore the fact that there is no room for Clare with his bag there, and drive on.

"Mom said yes, I see, " I note taking a quick glance at his bag.

"Yeah, thanks dude," I laugh a little at the way he throws the word "Dude" around, seeming like the more he said it the more he became one.

"No problem, I have something to tell you," I say flickering my eyes to him quickly before returning them to the road. I start a drive I would hopefully soon be taking often.

"Ok, what is it?" he presses me to go on.

"I'm ready, you know… for Clare." I say as I take a left onto her street. Adam fake sticks a finger down his throat and I can't hole in my laugh. I pull to the curb where I was just days ago. I pat the horn, twice more lightly, and hop out dragging Adam's bag with me. I go around to the back of Morty, after opening the back door, I throw Adam's bag in and slam it shut I turn and face Clare's house and see her walking towards my car.

She is stunning, she wearing a light floral dress, with shades of pale green and baby blue mixed it, she had a brown belt around it, she had matching brown heels adding an inch or so to her height, her pale face brushed with light makeup, and her curls loose in their strawberry blonde shade.

"Eli," she gives me a questioning wave. I gasp, realizing that I was caught in the act of staring. I get in my seat and feel heat at my cheeks, Clare gets in giggling slightly. I start the car and pull away from the curb and Adam shares a look with Clare and they break out in fits of laughter. I keep quiet the entire way there, hiding my mild embarrassment.

We find a decent parking spot and head towards the gate, we pay the five dollar entrance fee. When the man lets us through we walk straight ahead at the ticket booth. We choose to go with the all day wristbands, for riding rides. We pay up and put them on. I look up to see Clare struggling with hers. I wrap the bracelet, along with my fingers around her small wrist. I stick the sticker lined up with the bracelet in place,. When I look up to smile at her, her face falters a little, then she smiles hesitantly.

"Let's go do us some ride riding," I laugh off the strange feeling her smile left me with. We make our way down the midway riding everything we saw. After it seemed like we had hit every ride, some twice, it was about five o' clock. My stomach made a noise and I smiled a bit.\

"Anyone else as hungry as I am?" I ask looking at my two best friends. Judging by Adam's nod, he is. Clare smiles.

"Let's go eat then," she says walking towards the area where the food is. We find a quiet food stand that isn't surrounded my several people, just a couple. After we order and take our food to a picnic table off to the side.

"Hey isn't that Drew," I point to a jockey looking teenager, who notices my point. Adam looks where I am pointing.

"Yeah," he says waving to his step brother. Drew makes he way over to us, stealing a few of Adam's fries. Adam gives him a playful shove.

"Hey, what are you guys up to?" he asks us.

"Eating," Clare states as if obvious. Adam laughs and I smirk at her. I receive a look from Drew. Who makes eye contact with me then switches them to Clare and quickly back to me, I shrug my shoulders.

"Obviously, hey, Adam, want to come chill with me for a little bit?" he says giving he a smile. Wow, he has nice teeth, whiter than paper.

"Uh-sure," Adam says. He finishes eating then takes off with his older step brother.

"That was weird," Clare says, nervously. I shrug my shoulders as if I have no idea what just happened.

"Yeah, it was, huh?" I say looking around. "You know what we haven't done yet," I say and ask at the same time.

"What night that be," she says looking around as if to follow my thought process, I laugh lightly at her and stand up and start to walk away, I look back to see her staring at me, I cock my head in the "Follow me" way. She gets up and runs the few feet in between us.

"Where are we going," she demands. I smirk and she gives me a playful smack in the chest. I act hurt and gasp loudly, clutching my chest. She laughs.

"Let's play a game, I say that one," I point to a dark game with posters. We go to the worker and each pay for a dart. I aim for a poster of an ace of spades with a skull in the center of the spade. Not accounting for the weight of the dart, I miss and hit a Hannah Montana poster beneath it.

"Great, I totally have nowhere in my room for this to go," I say sarcastically. Clare laughs at me and I turn around after the guy gives me my new poster. I see a young girl, of maybe six standing with her mother. The girl wears a Hannah Montana t-shirt and I smile. I crouch down next to her.

"Hi, my names Eli, what's yours?" Her mother gives me a nervous look.

"Ella," she says in a small voice.

"Hey, Ella, I won this poster and I don't have anymore room in my bedroom for Hannah Montana posters, how would you like to have it?" when I look back at her face, she is lit up bright. She nods feverishly. I hand her the poster.

"Thank you," her smile grows as she turns to her mother. "Mommy, look." she says, and her mother gives he an approving grin. She mouths "Thank you" and they walk away, Ella waving at me until she is too far away to see me.

"That was sweet," Clare says smiling. It starts getting dark and I check the time, seven o'clock, already. I smile.

"Let's go do that thing I was talking about before," I say walking in the direction of the ferris wheel. She groans, still unsure of what we're we about to go do. When we approach the ride, we get in line and she gives it a nervous look.

"I hate you, so much." she says looking it up and down.

"Ouch, my ego," I dramatically say. She giggles but looks again at the giant wheel.

"I can't do it," she says trying to walk away, we were next in line, I grab her arm.

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, promise." I say seriously, she sighs and gets in a cart. She sit across from me, bouncing her leg. The wheel starts to spin slowly and she closes her eyes, tight. I quick make my move and sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her familiar shoulders. I put my right hand on her hands folded her lap, rubbing at her left hand with my thumb. As she opens her eyes too look at me, her face falter again, like it did earlier.

"Clare, what's wrong" I ask herm she pulls her hands from under mine. "Oh," I say I take both my hands back.

"You are doing it again," she says hardly over a whisper. I put my hands on both sides of her face and kiss her.

"Doesn't count if I'm ready," I say with my signature smirk.


	6. Chapter 5: I Must Be Dreaming

Chapter five, so, 1,040 hits on this story, wow. Haha.

"Doesn't count if I'm ready," Eli says, pulling away from our second kiss. I smile at him, staring into his emerald green eyes, they appeared as happy as I was.

"You mean, like really?" I ask without breaking the wonderful eye contact we share. I know my cheeks must be a bright, stop sign , red.

"I do, Clare would you please give me a chance, as something a little more than friends?" he asks as if he believes that I could say no. Eli can be confusing at times, but in this moment he seems sure of this decision.

"I wouldn't think of saying no," I say as my smile grows, feeling like its almost tearing away from my face. The ride ends and a man is telling us to got off to the right, Eli stands up and pulls the latch letting me off first. He just smirks, grabs my hand and leads me to a bench, he sits to my right on the cold metal bench. He leans his head down to me, resting his forehead on my own.

"This means the world to me, Clare. You have no idea," he says before pressing a light kiss on my lips. When he take his forehead away from mind, he moves back to a normal sitting pulling me closer.

"To be honest, I didn't think it would happen this quickly. I though it would be at least a couple weeks." I say feeling different than ever before. I never felt anything like this with K.C. our relationship was quite impersonal and childish. He would walk me to class, kiss my cheek, and after the school day was over he would kiss my lips, like a mother kissing their teenager goodbye.

"I was thinking so too, I had some time to really think about it this morning, I told Adam in the car, then when I saw you I knew I was ready to be with someone else." He says, his arm snaking around my waist, resting his hand loosely on my left hip. Another thing that was already different between the two, Eli made me feel a comfort that wasn't achieved when I was with K.C.

"I'm glad, I really am glad. You had me so scared that you didn't want to eve be friends with me, Eli the way you were acting. Promise me something," I start and he looks at me strangely. "I lied to things," I finish.

"Anything," he grabs my right hand with his and makes eyes contact with me. I liked that he looks me in the eyes when we talk, it feels like he is listening better.

"You will never do that to me again, ever. Also, you don't leave me for Alli, or worse, Jenna." I start out in complete seriousness, but ad my a little sarcastic joke in the end.

"Clare you have to understand how sorry am I about that, really." he takes his arm and hand back, turning to face me. "Please forgive me? I, promise to never do that to you, ever again. Alli or Jenna, Clare, come on," he says, feigning hurt about my second promise.

"You are forgiven, I know, I was joking about them." I smile at him and receive an "I know" look from him in return. I let out a shot giggle.

"You never did tell me what happened between you and K.C." he seems interested but I see Adam heading our way. He looks to where my gaze is set and groans.

"I will tell you, another time though." I say ad Adam joins us, I look at me watch. It was just after nine.

"So is it safe for me to assume that you two are a thing now?" Adam asks as soon as he is seated comfortably to my left. Eli hooks my neck with his arm, letting his left hand sit there.

"I think it is very safe for you to say that," Eli smirks, melting me from the inside out. I smile a small smile and nod to Adam.

"Even though I am having the time of my life, I think we should be heading out." Adam presses a button on his phone to check the time.

"Alright, let's go." Eli says and we head to the gates, then to the hearse. The drive home is a short ten minutes, but long enough for me to pass out, leaning against the window. I awake to Adam shaking my lightly, and saying my name. I am slightly startled, but let out a yawn.

"Sorry," I murmur getting out and looking both ways before I start to cross the street.

"Clare, wait,' Eli steps out of the drivers side. "Where do you think you are going without a goodnight kiss from the far most gorgeous boy you know," he says getting a cocky tone.

"Where might this boy be?" I return the sarcasm. He steps forward and kisses me soundly once more, my stomach flipping with joy.

"Oh, I think you know." he whispers in my ear, sweetly. "Goodnight, sweet dreams, I will talk to you I the morning." he kisses my forehead before turning to get back in his car. I see Adam fake gag. I practically run to my door, but notice something is off. There is only was car in the driveway. I hear Eli drive away, and enter my home. The living room light is on along with the TV, I go in to see my mother sitting and watching, a full glass of wine in her hand.

"Mom, what's going on," I sit down cautiously, in terror of what she could say. She takes a tissue to her right eye, wiping a tear before it can even fall.

"Your father and I have agreed to take a break, he will be staying with your grandmother for the next few nights," I suppose that could have been worse.

"Oh, are you guys going to get a divorce?' I ask in a sad tone, not sounding heartless. I cared about my parents, but I was happy and I didn't want that to be ruined by their fighting.

"I don't know sweetie. How was your night?" she asks half heartedly. I knew she was interested in how it was, but she didn't want to know, at least just not at this moment.

"Good," I say getting up. We would have to talk another time about Eli, I was going to tell her, tomorrow, maybe. "I'm exhausted though, so I am going to bed, goodnight." I walk to the stairs after she nods for me to go. When I get into my room I go straight to my computer, and sign into my email, to see that Darcy had emailed me back while I was out with Adam and Eli.

"Clare-bear I am so sorry to hear about things there. Just because I am in Kenya, doesn't mean I can't give you boy advice. This Eli, maybe you should talk to him, find out why he is being like this to you, you are a beautiful young girl, I think if you two talk it will work out. On the other hand, I don't know what to tell you about mom and dad, maybe it is just a rough patch, and they will be back to normal in no time. I can't tell you how much I miss you, I love you, Darcy."

I quickly hit the "reply" button and thought of how to tell her about Eli, then I realized that I would have to tell her about dad leaving for a few days.

"Thanks for getting back to me, things with Eli did work out. He had a dark secret and needed some time. Sure enough some time only ended up being a couple days, he actually shed me out today, at a carnival. About the mom and dad situation, dad left for a few days….he's staying with grandma… so I don't know anything anymore. Love, Clare."

Reviews? Heh…So check out my page and answer my Poll question?

Also I am thinking of making this more that ten chapters, what do you think?


	7. Chapter 6: Look How Far We've Come

So chapter six! I'd be pretty chill if you could all check out my other stories.

I wreck my mind for ideas for this Tuesday, June twenty second. One month. I want to do something special so she knows how much she means to me. I have gotten to know so much about her, while sharing my own life with her.

I can't cook, well I don't. I don't want to take her out, I want it to be just us. I rest my head on my fist, at my kitchen table. The first month, in my opinion, is the period of time in a relationship when you have a general idea if it is going to work out, or not. I feel as if things with Clare and I will work out.

My first part of my "Making Tuesday Work" plan was making sure my dad wasn't home. Clare met my dad, once, he is around but we act like we don't know each other most of the time. He works a steady nine to five job. He provides for me, well sort of. He pays our bills, I get a hundred dollars a week, food, a roof over my head. I guess I am lucky, in that sense. I think he resents me in a way, ever since my mother died he has never treated me the same. I don't talk about her a lot because it is not my favorite memory, he used to tell my mother that I looked just like her.

I have her green eyes, color and shape. He used to say that my face was shaped like his. Now he doesn't mention it, I have his hair color, but my mothers texture. I was a spitting image of my mother, with sparks of my father in me. He used to be a loving father, like a normal dad. But the year I turned thirteen, he changed, after she died.

My dad doesn't really talk to me, he knows about my grades, Clare, important things, but other than that I did my own thing. I am not really sure how to ask him to go somewhere Tuesday night, but I am going to be alone with her.

The second I finish that thought he come in the door, I glance at my phone and see that it is only four. I get up from the table to see what was up.

"Dad, you're home early," I step into the hallway, he looks at me for a second.

"Yeah, I'm going away for a couple of days, business trip to Georgia. Training, you know." he puts his keys on the hook on the wall next to mine.

"Oh, when do you leave," sometimes talking to him is like talking to a stranger, this is one of those awkward times.

"Monday, I will be back Thursday, I though you could stay with your grandmother." he says, almost fatherly, it stings mildly.

"Couldn't I just stay here, I am close to seventeen, I can handle it." I suggest, he nods in thought.

"I guess so, I'll leave you with extra money for the week." he walks away and heads toward his office. I just all the strength in my not to scream "Yes" loudly. I make several more decisions about what we can do, when I get into my room.

I open a book my mother gave to be a few days before she died, I know what I need would be in there. It is a small picture album of important times in her life. I flip open the cover and the first page holds exactly what I need. A pink and white fringed flower is pressed flat between two pieces of plastic, then placed behind the picture slot, underneath it reads; "First year anniversary, twelve unique Dianthus." I find a post-it mote and scribble "Four Unique Dianthus" on it, then fold it and put in safely in my pocket. I personally think Clare would care if I ordered take out, to eat. Clare is a simple girl that does amazing things to me heart.

I dial Clare's number, and let it ring. It only takes three rings before she picks up.

"Pizza or Chinese?" I say quickly not wanting to give anything away.

"Oh, hey Eli, I miss you too, I'm doing great thanks." she oozes sarcasm, something I think she has picked up from me.

"Pizza or Chinese," I repeat, trying not to sound mad, but I don't want to have a conversation, I'm on a roll with my plans.

"Why?" she presses, trying to get under my skin I presume. It works, I start to get irritated with her lack of answer.

"Just pick," I snap, "Sorry." I apologize,

"Chinese, I guess," she says shyly.

"Ok, bye," I hang up before she can protest. I return to my kitchen and open the drawer to the right of the sink. There are menus to every take out place that will deliver here, practically. I find two Chinese menus. China Place, I look through the menu seeing a couple things I could get. I don't even regard the second menu.

I find the post-it note from my pocket and add the items from the menu on it; 2 egg rolls, pork rice, and general tsao's chicken. Luckily we went for Chinese once before and I remember her mentioning this as her favorite.

I start to feel bad about being so short and rude to Clare so I decide to make a phone call to let her know I am sorry. It rings then goes to her voice mail.

"This is Clare, so sorry I couldn't catch your call. Leave a short message and I promise to get back to you." I smile when I mentally picture her smile when she recorded this, she sounded so enthusiastic, but frown when my mind starts telling me she ignored my call. I go to my laptop and decide to check if she is on. After it takes a minute to turn on I log in. Bingo, she is on.

**Eli-gold49: Clare I'm sorry about earlier.**

**Clare-e23: its ok I guess.**

**Eli-gold49: you don't sound so sure.**

**Clare-e23: no its ok, why did you ask.**

I freeze, I don't know how to answer without giving the surprise away. I hit my speed dial number three, Adam.

"Hello," he answers after barley two rings.

"If Clare asks you, you and I fought about which is better Pizza or Chinese, ok?" I ask rushing myself so I could answer her. "Yeah, right, go pizza! Woo!" he says pretending. I laugh a little out loud.

"Thanks, dude\. I'll talk to you later, bye." I hand up and start to type frantically.

**Eli-gold49: Adam and I were arguing about it.**

**Clare-e23: I will never understand you two.**

**Eli-gold49; ha, doesn't "teenage boys" pretty much sum it up?**

**Clare-e23: yeah, it does, well they're at it again over the phone so I'm going to get off here.**

**Eli-gold49; come over?**

**Clare-e23: I think I am just going to work on Monday's homework. So I can see you tomorrow without worrying about getting it done. Eli-gold49: maybe I should do that too**

**Clare-e23: get it done. I miss you, bye.**

**Eli-gold49: I miss you too, bye.**

**Clare-e23 is offline.**

Well, I am glad she believed that, though lying to her felt wrong. I push it aside in my head and pull my homework out. I start at my algebra, I laugh at myself doing homework on a Saturday night, not Sunday night, or worse Monday morning. Oh, the things I will do just to see that girl.

Maybe she would stay here Tuesday night, just a sleepover, nothing sexual. I will ask her about that tomorrow when we are hanging out at the mall, she could use Alli as a cover.

I finish my homework for Monday and go to my kitchen to find dinner, it's nine thirty, but I ate a late lunch around three. I open the fridge and there is nothing quick to make in there, turning my attention to the freezer I see a chicken potpie practically saying my name. I grab it, open the box and put it on a plate in the microwave.

It cooks for a few minutes while pour myself a glass of 2 percent milk, and get a small bowl of apple sauce. I carefully pull it from the microwave trying not to burn myself, unsuccessfully, of course. A nearly drop it on the floor but set it quickly on the table. I shake my right hand then run my thumb and index finger under the cool tap water.

When the sting stops, I look at then and them, the sides of my fingerprints are burned off. I ignore then and get a fork to eat with. I sit and enjoy my potpie, eating my apple sauce also, when I finish my food, I drink what is left of my milk. I clear the table of my dishes and wipe it down with a wet cloth. I wash my days dishes and the few my father left from his dinner.

When my clean up is finished a go to take a shower. After I am clean, I pull a black t-shirt on and some sweat pants, and lay in my bed, thinking.

**Ok so I have three requests.**

**One: Read my other stories? They are all one-shots.**

**Two: Respond to my poll if you haven't already.**

**And Just one quick question, should I update today or tomorrow?**


	8. Chapter 7: Stop, RewindAnd Play

**Ok, so this whole situation with Adam in the show…I'm trying to follow things that happen, but in my own way…I also wrote a Fiona one-shot. Check it out?**

**SO CLOSE TO 2000 HITS! GET ME THERE?**

I sit in the church after the service is over, I pull the bar that you kneel on down, sliding off the hard wood bench. I kneel lightly and press my hands together folding my fingers over.

"God, thank you for giving me the gift of Eli, it means the world to me, please don't let this be ruined for me, for us. I appreciate it so much. I wish my parents would stop fighting, but Eli is more than compensating for that, thank you. Amen." I whisper. Opening my eyes, I get up, walk out of the church with a skip in my step.

I check the time on my phone, eleven o'clock, I'm meeting Eli in half an hour. I walk quickly to the car where my mom is sitting, I hop in the passengers seat and we head home. When we get there I change from my church clothes to a pair of jeans with a white, button up, short ruffled sleeved shirt. I put on a pair of white flats, and ask my mom for a ride to Eli's house.

She tells me to be out there in five minutes giving me enough time to touch my makeup from church up. I get out there just as she shuts her door. She asks about my plans for the day. I explain to her that Eli and I were simply hanging out at the mall, possible doing a little shopping. She smiles and hands me a fifty she must have already been planning on giving to me.

Eli is sitting on the stoop when I arrive, my mom tells he to say "Hello" to him for her, and for us to have a great time. I get out thanking her, waving as she pulls away.

"Dude, I can't I already told you." Eli says into his phone, I walk up to him and he gives me a smile and a nod.

"Adam, another day." he says starting to get angry. I sit down next to him and try to hear the other line, failing.

"Quit acting like a girl," he says, and immediately gasps, "I don't mean-" he's cut off. He sighs hard.

"You know what, fine. Go have fun with your fake friend. I'll be here when he turns." He says hanging up, not waiting for a reply. "Sorry about that, Clare." he says before kissing me lightly. I can feel his tension though he doesn't mention it.

"What was that?" I push the hair from my face, tucking what reached, behind my right ear.

"Adam, he wanted to hang out tomorrow," he looks almost as if he said something wrong. He takes my hand and we go to Morty. "But I can't," he continues. He opens my door for me, shutting it after I am in, he walks around to his side.

"Well, what is tomorrow?" I ask, as he starts the engine, backing out carefully.

"I'm busy, doing stuff," he sounds as if he had more to say, but doesn't continue. I am confused my this but go along with it.

"Ok," I drag the "Kay" part out a little to see if he is planning on giving anymore away. Instead he reaches and turns the stereo on, which is something he usually didn't do.

_So watch my chest heaveAs this last breath leaves meI am trying to beWhat you're dying to seeI feel like "Fuck man,Can't take this, anymore,This heart, break this."_

A song starts, but he quickly switches it to the next, he gives me a nervous glance after the first song. I was confused as to why, but keep listening.

_I loved you, you made me, hate gave me hate see?It saved me and these tears are feel that?I rip back, every time you tried to steal feel bad?You feel sad?I'm sorry hell no fuck that!It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife it dies, this life and these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt to remember I loved you_

He must not have been listening to the music, he is driving after all, because he jumps and switches the stereo off completely after about a minute of the song. He looks nervous again.

"What's wrong?" I look at him, he is focused on the road, but takes a second to look at me.

"I meant to turn the radio on," he says as if it's a confession. "I really didn't want you to read either of those songs, or any others on that CD. It's repulsive, really."

"Oh, well, just because I don't particularly like it, you can listen to it around me, really." I mock him in a joking manor.

"I don't know it's harsh, I mean I love it but, I don't quite think you should listen to it. You can if you want by all means," he waves a sideways hand toward the stereo. I make a face then shake my head "No". He smirks and we pull into a parking spot. We get out, and head in the direction of the mall. As we get close to the mall, he grabs my hand, making me feel like a little kid.

We walk through stores for what feels like days, but it was only two hours. I realize that I am hungry as soon as we are neat the food court.

"What to do you want," Eli turns his head to whisper in my ear, sending chills up and down my spine.

"I'm not sure, I think I'll probably get Subway, like always," I smile at the last part, I get a sub every time we are here.

'How about you find us a place to sit and I'll get us two subs." he sweetly kisses me before walking away to buy food. I look around the food court for somewhere to sit, seeing a vacated booth I head that way. When I sit down I see Eli watching me , I flush red and look away. Before I know it, Eli is sitting across from me, smirking as he hands me my six inch, ham, provolone, lettuce, and tomato, sub, on Italian herbs and cheese bread, and topped with honey mustard sauce. We eat while making small talk, I take a sip of my iced tea.

"How is it?" he asks, taking a sip of his soda. I smile sweetly.

"Great, yours?" I ask in return, taking another bit, almost done with it.

"Gone," he swallows the last bit of his sub smirking at me. He continues to drink his soda, as I finish up my own sub, I wash the last bite down with some more iced tea.

"So, I was thinking," he starts talking but stops to make eye contact. I circle my hand in front of me signing him to go on. "About Tuesday, you are coming over, and with my dad out of town, why don't you stay overnight," Overnight, I stop and think. I should just say no, before falling into something I will regret. My face must have shown the worry in my mind because he corrected himself. "Clare, not like that. I mean like just us hanging out. You could use Alli as a cover. You know I would never try to pressure you into anything, right?"

"Yeah, so Alli?" I continue the conversation, he seems happy that I am going along with it. He just doesn't know how much I would love to curl up and sleep in his arms.

"So you're ok with this?" he asks, I nod happily and his eyes light up. "I already talked to her for you," he smirks.

"Ok, then it's all in my mom's hands. I might have to tell her I am going to be with her all afternoon also, though." he seems to get what I mean, about my mom adding things up.

"Alright, let's get out of here." he looks at his phone, so I do to. It was past three o'clock. We walk out hand in hand and get back into the familiar hearse.

**So… I love Hollywood Undead, just to clear the air, those two songs are by them.**

**So Reviews make me happy. **


	9. Chapter 8: Sleep Tight, Beautiful

**Chapter eight, I defiantly have more than two more chapters in me.**

My phone alarm goes off, causing me to break out into the biggest grin. I look at it about to turn it off, but the alarm picture of Clare causes me to pause for a second. After staring I turn it off and jump up off my couch. I run to my room and get changed into a black blazer, black long-sleeve button up, with a thin black tie, I pull a pair of dark gray tight jeans on, topping it off with a pair of black boots. I take care of my dirty clothes and tidy my room up for the thousandth time, today.

I enter the kitchen and wipe everything down once more, and set my lighter down between two candles. I double check to see if there is anything left to clean in the living room, but my house is spotless. I call and check up of the food I ordered the previous day making sure it would be delivered ten minutes before Clare got here. That would give me enough time to put it out on two plates and have it look nice.

I walk around nervously, knowing I only had twenty minutes before she would be here. I go into the bathroom and comb through my hair once more. I make sure the door to my dad's room and office are shut, before returning to the bathroom, spraying myself once more with cologne. I return to my pacing but only make it half way back down the hall when the bell rings. I open the door and a delivery boy is standing there with a large brown paper bag. I invite him in for a second so I can put the food down and give him the money, I tip him extra for getting here exactly on time.

I thank him and show him out. I spoon half of the chicken onto each plate, I add an egg roll and some rice on the side. I pour water in the two glasses set out, placing a fortune cookie by the plates. I look at my phone to check the time, then turn it on silent mode. In two minutes Clare would be here. I started to get nervous but then told myself it was just one month, and it was just a token of my appreciation.

A knock at the door, I practically sprint to the door, I take a deep breath and smooth my blazer. I open it up and I am struck by awe. Before I say anything to her, I just take the sight of her in. Clare stands in my doorway looking at me with her beautiful blue eyes, highlighted with natural looking peach eye makeup, with brown eyeliner. She has a natural lip gloss on with some shimmer. Her dress is a solid pink and strapless, she has a white short sleeve jacket on over it. She has white heels, giving her just about an inch of height.

"Wow," I say after staring for at least a minute. Her cheeks flush a light pink, and she smiles. "You look, amazing," I try and catch my breath.

"Thanks, you aren't too sore on the eyes, either." she lets a giggle escape her lips. She pulls a medium sized bag from behind her. "She said yes, as long as I am at school on the morning."

"Come in, come in," I feel like an ass for just standing there but shake it off once she is onside. I take her bag from her and set it next to the couch. "I hope you are hungry, dinner was delivered just a few minutes ago," I laugh at my lack of cooking skill.

"As a matter of fact, I am." She sits after I pull a chair out for her. I leave her in the kitchen for a minute, while I grab the flowers I got her. I enter again and she looks at them.

"There are four, one for each week, I'll put then in this vase for you," I put them in said vase and take the lighter to light the candles. I sit down and we start to eat. We make small talk until we have both finished. She opens her cookie first.

"Love is for the lucky and the brave." she reads, then smiles, she looks at my cookie and I open it up, I crack the cookie in half reading my own fortune.

"Your heart is a place to draw true happiness." I smirk, and think how ironic we both got sappy fortunes. "Want to watch a movie?" I ask noting that its nearly six thirty.

"Sure," I grab her hand and lead her to the couch, in front of us on the coffee table are two movies, Monsters Inc. and The Orphan, "My choice?" she asks picking them both up.

"Sure," I stand up and wait for the movie to be handed to me. Surprisingly she hands me The Orphan. Without question I put it in my DVD player and it starts. She cuddles close to me, on my left, when the movie starts to freak her out, she covers he face with her hands. I can't get over how adorable it is. When the movie ends I turn the lights back on and she looks nervous.

"I'm an only child, and I wasn't adopted," I joke. "Want to change, into pajamas?" I ask her. With a nod I lead her to my room after grabbing her bag. I point to the bathroom in my room, "You can change in there,"

"Ok," she says pulling out a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. I feel like I pull the same pair out, only mine are all black and her pants are navy blue and her shirt is white. I change quickly, and lay on my bed. She takes a little longer then myself, I hear water running and assume she is washing her makeup off. I hear the door's lock click and she emerges. She comes and sits by me, and I sit up.

"I'm glad this worked out." I say.

"Me too," she says and I kiss her strongly on the lips. She kisses back passionately, but reserved. I put a hand on her face and another in her hair. She has both her arms around my neck. As much as I hate to, I pull away, for air and so we don't get too carried away. Her face is glowing a bright pink, and she is smiling.

"I love the way you blush," I brush one of her cheeks with my index finger. She covers her cheeks with her hands. "It's cute, don't hide it."

"Really?" she removes her hands and kisses me once more, on the cheek. She rubs her eyes lightly, before letting out a yawn, and stretching.

"Someone is tired," I cause a new flush to her cheeks.

"Sorry," she apologizes.

"Don't apologize, I am too. Here, lay down." I pull the covers back allowing her to get under them, while I go to turn the light off. I know my way to my bed in the dark so I find it easily, I pull back the covers on the left side and climb I behind her. I wrap my left arm over and her waist.

"Sleep tight, beautiful."

**So, what do you think? **


	10. Chapter 9: Three Little Words

**Chapter nine. Here we go! I don't really know what Julia looks like so I am making it up.**

Things with Eli have been going great. It has been almost three months, and nothing has gone wrong. Things have been heating up a lot lately, but Eli respects my pledge to wait, making everything easier. There is a summer dance coming up, the day of our three month, giving Eli about a week to ask me. I knew how he feels about dances, that they are a lame excuse for girls to get all fancy, and for guys to try and score. I laugh every time he says it, but I think he knows how much this one means to me.

Besides he should like the theme; A Night Under The Vegas Lights. There is supposed to be gambling, shows, everything set up like a casino. Eli likes these kinds of things so he should be able to have too. I thought about what I could wear and hear his horn honk, twice. I grab my handbag and head out, he is wearing a black vest and a gray long-sleeved shirt with black stripes. Its just after five when I got in his car, leaving us with about four to hang out, Saturdays I have to be home early to get to bed, church in the morning.

"Hello, beautiful," Eli greets me while I buckle my seat belt. I feel my cheeks get warm, and let a warm smile out.

"Hey, Eli. So what do you have us doing today?" I question, he smirks telling me that something fun.

"Cards, at my house. If that is alright with you," we drive down the road, but he risks a glance here and there at me.

"Sounds, like a good time." I say, warmly to match my consistent smile.

"Hey," he breathes out, "What if we invite Adam over to play with us," he suggest. I personally think it would be fun to be with Adam, but I'm not so sure he will.

"Yeah, did you want me to call him?" I ask a little hesitantly.

"Could you, I don't know if him and I are exactly on good terms. We haven't talked much all summer." he says, he obviously misses his best friend.

"Of course," I say. I grab my phone and hit my speed dial number four. It rings probably six times before going to his voice mail, an automatic voice mail stating that Adam is unavailable and to leave a message. I bite my lip, that's strange, Adam and I are good, or so I thought.

"No answer," I look over at Eli, who takes his right hand off the wheel to reach into his jeans pocket. He hands my his phone.

"Try mine," he puts his hand back on the wheel, "Speed dial three." I hold the three down and Adam's face pops up and it begins to ring. He doesn't answer the call from Eli's phone either. I look to Eli, who had just pulled into his driveway, I shake my head no. We go inside and play a few rounds of blackjack, he wins almost every hand.

"Clare this is my way of asking you to the dance next Sunday." he says, bringing the largest smile to my face. I kiss him slightly.

"That's my way of saying, yes." I say. I check the time, six thirty. "Maybe we could try Adam again," I suggest. He nods, and I try to cal again, getting his voice mail for the third time

We get up from his kitchen table. We go into the narrow hallway and see that his dad is in the living room, he glances over at us.

"Dad, do you mind if Clare stays here while I run and pick up Adam." I give him a confused look and he continues to look at his dad.

"That's fine, Elijah." his dad says using his full first name, which I rarely, if ever use. This is the first time I have heard his dad call him by an actual name. They really don't talk, when I'm here at least. Eli leads me rushed to his room pulling me by my upper left arm.

"Why can't I come," I whine in a questioning voice.

"Because I am going to his house and we are settling this once and for all, I don't know how he will take it, I think it would be best if it was just him and I." he says going to his desk, he opens the top drawer in the middle, pulling out his black laptop.

"Here, you can use this while I am gone, sorry I'm leaving you like this." he starts toward the door before turning back and walking over to me. "For good luck,' he kisses me hard on the lips.

"Good luck," I repeat and watch him leave. I turn on his laptop and see that I need a password. I try a few things like; his birthday, his name, Morty, then I try my own name. None of which work, I sigh and shut his laptop. I walk around looking at the things in his room, I have only been in here a few times, we normally hung out in public or at my house. He always says he doesn't like the mood his house, I never felt it until I was here, alone with his dad, it's quiet.

I look at the things on his dresser, playing with a ring he has sitting on top of it. There is a mirror hanging on the back of his closet door, I see several pictures hanging on it, I go over to get a closer look. He has a photo strip with four picture of us on it, a goofy one, a smiling one, an angry one, and one where he is kissing my cheek. I smile looking at them until I see a similar strip, only with another girl. The first picture they are smiling, the girl has brown eyes, with dark hair, her skin in more tan then my own, she is gorgeous. The next picture their heads are pressed together at the top and they both smile at the camera. The third one down, is him kissing her cheek, and the last of her kissing his cheek. The border around their pictures contains hearts and above all the photos it says "Love". Ours says "Best Friends", jealously sparks up inside my for a second.

I return to his desk, reopening the computer. There is a picture of us as his icon when the password box pops up. I type in "Julia" and his computer unlocks. I feel sad, but for only a moment, because I hear a car door slam. Just one. I can hear him taking steps towards his room, until he's at the door.

"He's out with Fitz, or like his mom said 'That pleasant Mark boy.'" he comes behind me and looks at the computer.

"Well, another day, ok?" I ask forgetting my jealousy. He continues to look at the computer, and gets a nervous look in his eye.

"You got in," he points out. I nod. "Sorry I should have logged it in for you." he bites into his bottom lip.

"It's fine Eli." I realize that I wasn't lying to him. It is fine, she is gone and he needs to remember her. I suddenly feel bad for getting jealous.

"I can't bring myself to change it," he says quickly.

"Eli, it's ok I understand. You have to hold on to her memory." I say, he smiles a smile I rarely get to see, he normally hides behind his smirk. "She was pretty," I point to the pictures.

"Yeah, I really don't want to talk about her, though." he looks at the ground, before taking a seat on his bed. I walk over and sit facing him, he turns to face me.

"Alright," I whisper getting caught in his eyes. He kisses me softly on the lips.

"I love you,' he whispers. it's the first time he has used the word in our relationship. Eli is not the type to throw it around after two days, my heart swells.

"I love you too, Eli." I say going in to kiss him again.

**What should Clare wear to the dance, the dress in the promo or something else, your choice. Give me dress ideas?**

**Another question, I need a name for a secret reason. I put a poll up, so go vote?**


	11. Chapter 10: Smoothing Things Over

**Ok, so much to my dismay my TV's are both broken. Fantastic. So watching Degrassi is much more complicated, I have to walk until morning to see it online, possibly later that evening. So I don't see previews, so I am going to try and go off of what I have. Chapter Ten! **

**(Several hours later, like ten)**

**MY TV IS FIXED. Little brothers are good, sometimes, right? A certain reviewer made me want to update, like now. Along with the nudge the episode gave me. **

I continue to try and reach out and talk to Adam, for the next four days. Eventually, I decide to take things more into my hands by calling his house. Drew answers.

"Hello," he mutters questioningly into the phone.

"Drew it's Eli, Adam there?"

"Yeah, here, I'll call him," he starts, but I stop him before he calls Adam's name out into their house.

"Wait, don't tell him it's me, he won't come." I say seriously, mildly pained.

"Uh oh," he trails off. I hear him call Adam's name loudly, then a few seconds later he yells the single word, "phone". I faintly hear Adam ask who it is and Drew let out and "I dunno."

"Hello," he sounds almost annoyed.

"Adam, I've been trying to call you, Clare too." I hardly get out before a dial tone takes over the call. I groan inwardly, frustrated with him. Now, at least, I know he is at his house. I get shoes on and walk to Morty, I make my trip to Adam's house a short one, giving him as little time as possible to get out of there. I see him walking down the street once I turn onto his. I slow down rolling my window down, in the process.

"Adam, come on." I start off with an agitated tone. I unlock the passengers side door, pulling the handle opening it. "Get in," I say hopefully.

"Uh-no," he says pushing it shut. I carefully drive while focusing most my attention on Adam. I sigh heavily.

"Please, Adam. Its been like a month and you hardly will talk to me, look Clare-free, just us." he gives in and climbs in on my right.

"Talk quickly, I live just down the street," he indicates I have until we reach his house. I sigh and mentally think of what I will say.

"Adam, you are my best friend, this is ridiculous and I want you to be my friend," I plead sounding obnoxiously hopeless and whiney.

"Well you can't always be hanging out with Clare. 'Bro's before Ho's", even though Clare is far from a Ho, you know what I mean." he puts up air quotes around his little saying.

"I know, Adam, sorry I ditched you that day, I had stuff to do, I wasn't with Clare. I couldn't tell you what kind of stuff because Clare's mom dropped her off while we were on the phone, I had to shop and set things up, I should have brought you." I pause, taking a breath. "And I didn't mean to call you a girl, it was meant in another way. Like I would say to another guy."

'I'm not a girl." he says suddenly irritated, He unlocks his door opening the door jumping out.

"Adam!" I yell as he takes off running. I speed up from my ten miles an hour to about fifty. He runs inside. I pull in his driveway, and go to his door. I knock a few times. Drew answers.

"Not asking, go," he jerks a thumb towards the stairs, I take off running and bang on his door.

"Adam, let me in, Adam!" I yell.

"No, I'm not a girl!" he screams, I can hear him hitting something. I try the door, locked.

"I didn't say you were," I say defending myself, honestly. Something hit's the ground and he pulls the door open, hard. Shoving past me he pulls his phone out. He picks someone from his contacts and puts the phone to his ear.

"Fitz, want to hang?" an amused look plays on his face, it's a twisted amusement that makes me nervous.

"Sounds good, see you there." he ends the call and puts the phone back into his baggy jeans. He walks past me not paying an ounce of attention to me.

"Adam, what are you doing?" I turn to follow him, he gets into Morty, he stares at me so I get in and start my hearse.

"Dot," he says quickly and I drive in that direction, I pull my phone out and text Clare, while driving.

_Meet me at The Dot, quickly, please. _

I put the phone in the side pocket on the car door. I search for a diversion, a way to stall going to The Dot, so Clare could get there first.

"Shit," I mutter in a fake pissed voice. Adam's head snaps to look at me. "I need to stop quick for gas, real quick, sorry," I feign being apologetic.

"Ugh," he groans. "I'll just walk from there."

"Adam, it will be faster to let me get gas and then drive you," I respond quickly. He nods and I pull into a Gas-It. I turn the key, pausing to look at my phone once more.

_On my way, explain there?_

_I'm sure you will understand once you are there._

I type back, putting my keys in my pocket. I open my door, and jump out, I walk at a fair not rushed pace.

"Forty on pump three," I hand two twenties to the cashier, he opens the drawer to put the money in and I go back to Morty. I fill my tank, and get back in.

"Let's go," he says roughly. I turn the key in the ignition, and pull back onto the street.

"What is going on, Adam." I sternly say.

"Drive," I do, until I see Clare walking in, I sigh in relief. I park, and he gets out meeting Fitz at a metal outdoor table. I can see Clare's eyes grow when she sees us, Adam doesn't sit. I walk up to him.

"Get up," Adam pushes the chair he is standing behind into the table causing a clatter. It causes head to turn.

"Adam, you don't want to do this," I reason, or at least try. I still see Clare watching from the window, her face looked like she was trying to think of what to do.

"Get up," Adam repeats once more. Fitz stands up and walks over to Adam, Adam shoves him, hard, for a biological girl.

"Can't hit a girl," he looks right at Adam. Adam throws a punch right into Fitz's center, he hunches over looking right at me.

"Shit," I cuss under my breath. I feel a hard punch square on the mouth, next thing I know, I am face down, luckily me reflexes let my hands catch me. I put a hand to my lip, busted, again. I turn quickly to watch my back, and see Clare at the counter talking to Peter. I look back to see Fitz on his knees still hunched over.

Peter rushes out the door, he looks like he could laugh seeing Fitz crumpled on the ground, and my lip busted open, me also on the ground. He approaches us.

"Guys you can't do this here, or I am going to have to call the cops. You come in," he point to me. Then turns his attention to Fitz, "Get out of here," he walks away, heading towards the door. I give Adam a look, and touch my lip again It stings, and is still bleeding. I can feel blood dripping off my chin onto my black long-sleeve shirt, hopefully not onto my leather vest.

I stand up and pull my vest off, with my left hand, that isn't covered in blood. I go inside and Clare rushes to me. She almost hugs me but steps back.

"Sorry," she looks down at her clothes. I lick my lip trying to measure how bad the cut is, wincing at the sting of pain. Peter hands me a white washcloth.

"Clean yourself up, then throw it out." He says, the wash cloth is damp with warm water. I wipe off my chin, and notice people staring.

"I'm going to wash up in the bathroom, so I can see myself. Clare looks at Peter.

"Go on little Edwards," he says smiling. She walks to the washroom with me. I shut the door and take a look at myself. I am a mess.

"What happened?" she questions taking the washcloth from my hand, she gently washes the blood around the my mouth.

"I don't even know, honestly. I went to Adam's house after I called there and he hung up on me. He tried to leave but I drove so I caught up with him we started to talk things out, I apologized. Then explained my 'Quit acting like a girl' comment. Then he jumped out of Morty and ran into his house, I followed, he threw some sort of tantrum in his room and locked me out. He came out of his room, called Fitz saying to meet him here. He had a look on his face that's why I texted you. I stalled on our way here by getting gas, then we got here and he started messing with Fitz.' I say all in one breath, I inhale deeply.

"Wow," Clare says, leaving her lips parted after saying it. She hands me the washcloth after rinsing some of the blood out. "Here, wipe your lip, I don't want to hurt you. I do as she says.

"He got me pretty good, huh?" I ask trying to make light of the situation. I fold my lip over to look at it inside. Along the inside there is a deep cut, from my bottom teeth.

"Ouch," she looks at it. I peel my shirt off and start to clean the blood off my chest, there isn't much but enough to cause my shirt to stick.

"It just looks bad," I look at her, she is worried, I can tell.

"It's still bleeding," she points out. I frown, and finish clearing my chest and throat of drying blood. I wipe my lip once more and watch as fresh blood pools in between the slit. I lick it off and taste the metallic twinge to it. I run my tongue along the cut inside and feel warms blood still flowing slowly. I look at my shirt and decide not to put it back on. I put my arms through the holes in my vest and wash my hands. Clare looks at me, a smile playing at her lips. I pull her into a hug, now that the blood was washed away.

"I think I need a glass of water," I slide my tongue along the inside again. We go back to the counter and I am careful not to let my shirt touch anything.

"Could I get some water?" I ask Peter, who Clare previously explained to me as one of her older sisters ex's.

"Yeah, how bad is the lip?" he asks seemingly concerned. I shrug my shoulder sipping the ice cold water.

"It looks pretty bad," Clare states, and Peter smirks at her. He rolls his eyes.

"It's a guy thing," he chuckles. "There is a difference between feel, and look."

"See," I look at Clare giving her a smirk, she glares at me, jokingly before smacking my on the upper arm. She sees something when she faces me, because her face changes. "What?"

"Adam, he looks upset," she says pointing out to the table where Fitz had been sitting previously. I finish the water, which stopped the bleeding, inside my mouth. My lip was still bleeding, just barely.

"Can I get another glass, just to clean up the blood outside, I know a left some." he takes my cup and goes into the back.

"I'm sorry, I know you hate this stuff." I turn my attention on Clare. She looks over at me and smiles, but its fake.

"I know, but it wasn't your choice," she shakes her head slightly. "I have to go, though, I have to do all my homework still," she goes to kiss me, then turns her head kissing my cheek, instead. "I'll walk, you have some other stuff to take care of." she kisses my cheek once more, saying "I love you." into my ear.

"I love you too," I say meaning it one hundred percent. Peter slide a to go cup full of water to me and hands me a plastic bag.

"For your shirt," he says. I say thank you picking up the warm cup, and head outside. I pop the lid off and slowly pour water over the tiny puddle of drying blood on the concrete ground, it washes away well, just a faint outline is visible around where it was. I put the lid on the cup and sit down across from Adam.

He avoids looking at me so I stare, he continues to look at his phone, which he spins on the table, I seriously think about taking his phone from him, but decide against it. He starts to look uncomfortable after a continue to stare at him, he finally looks up to meet my eyes.

"Well," I debate on whether I am pissed at him, or not. "happy?" I pause again, reading his face. He holds a blank face and looks at my lip, adverting my eyes.

"No," Adam says, annoyed. He finally makes and holds eye contact.

"Then what the hell was that?" I start to feel pissed off. I stare into his eyes as he remains silent. I clear my throat obviously annoyed with the silence.

"You are the one who I recall telling Clare something like, 'That Neanderthal started something, and I'm going to finish it,' I was just trying to finish it." he says with an attitude.

"It was finished," I say getting up, I start walking in Morty's direction, but turn to face Adam, "If you want a ride, let's go," I say emotionless. He follows and we get into Morty. I remain silent the rest of our time together. I pull to the side of the road by his house, and look at him. He murmurs something but I can't understand, and he gets out.

**Ok, so it was a long one so, for the next chapter I need a dress to use, so tell me which it should be, or put a link in and I'll check it out.**


	12. Chapter 11: Dressed To Impress

**Chapter Eleven, MY TV IS FIXED. Little brothers are good, sometimes, right?**

**All the dress options are on my page! Check out them out!**

Alli and I get to the store, and get the Friday rush hour, well rush. We make our way to the dress store, and Alli gets excited when we step in. She nearly takes out a young woman walking with a toddler waddling along her side, gripping her hand tightly.

"Sorry about her, Vegas dance at school Sunday night." I apologize, sincerely.

"I was a teenager two years ago, I understand." she smiles at me sweetly. I smile and look at the small boy, he bounces slightly and giggles. I laugh. I walk quickly to find Alli. I find her looking at a little white dress.

"Can you see yourself in this, I know I can." she hold the dress up to me, I look at the dress a little closer. it's a white mesh-like fabric over a solid white fabric. The outer part had black polka dots thick at the bottom but getting smaller as they rise up towards a thick, silky black tie.

"I dunno, I was looking for something, I don't know less, me." I say shaking my head, and scrunching my face up a tiny bit.

"Oh," she smiles a toothy grin and continues looking. She finds an attractive red dress with a halter top, but I can still see myself in it, I shake my head no. I picture myself in all of these dresses, but I waned something more Eli's style. Alli picks out a hot pink dress. I make a face.

"For me silly," she holds it up, it appears to be meant to be skintight, its low cut, and has thin ribbon like straps.

"I think its perfect," I say sure of myself. I continue to fan through dozens of dresses. I see a purple ones I take a liking to. it's a silky medium purple, with a gathering of rhinestones on the chest of it. I pull it off the rack and hold it up to me. It looks nice but I think I can find better. Alli comes out of a dressing room, clan in the pink dress.

"Think Drew will like this one?" she asks, seductively. I laugh at her expense before nodding vigorously. She smiles, waltzing back for her street clothes.

I see a black dress, with a deep "V" cut and two half inch straps. There is a black ribbon tie around the waist line, tying a long bow in the front, just a few inches below the cut. Another two to three inches below the tie it begins a new material over top of the solid black, the material is similar to that on the white dress. It starts to bunch in a ring around, with equal increments of space in between. The material under stops before the overlay. I bite my lip, pleased with this dress. I take it off the rack and find just one more that I can try on along with the black one.

After Alli changes she comes up to me carrying a nice blue dress with a beaded belt, with matching straps. I sigh and take it from her, I head into a small dressing room. I slip out of my day clothes and try the blue one on, its pretty, but not what I am looking for. I step out and hear Alli squeal.

"I love it," she says squirming in her chair.

"I don't think its what I want," I look at myself in a narrow mirror. After locking the door once more, I strip out of it sliding into the black dress. I stare at myself in the mirror and hardly recognize myself in the short black dress, it is perfect, especially for a three month. I go back to show Alli, she jumps out of her chair, throwing herself at me.

"Yes!" she screams, and we get several stares, she pulls me into a tight hug. I can't help but smile. "Now go take it off so we can find us some perfect shoes!" she screeches in my ear, prior to letting me go. I come back out carrying the dress in my left arm as we take off to the shoe section. As Alli looks through regular heels, I look through heels that are a little different, red. I find a pair of ankle boots that are a soft red material. I try them on and they fit nicely, and are comfortable. There are a few ruffle-like things around the ankle part. I show Alli.

"Edgy, I love it,' she says pulling the pair she chose out of the box. They are pearly white and somewhat platform, perfect for her.

"Good choice," we walk to the accessory department and I go off on my own once again, Alli looks around, but already has jewelry. I pick out a red rose pendant on a thin silver chain, a few thin, red, and metal bangles, and a headband with a black and red plaid bow on it.

After getting the Alli-approval we go to the check out line. There is a medium length line, we only end up waiting fifteen minutes or so before Alli puts her items on the counter, she cashes out the dress and the shoes and pays. I step up next.

"Good choice with the black dress and the red accents, perfect together," the lady working the cash register says to me while scanning barcodes. "Your total is $179.56," she says smiling at me warmly. I hand her two hundred and she gives me my change. Alli and I head outside and I call Eli.

"Hey there, gorgeous," he answers after two rings, I smile and blush lightly.

"Hi, could you pick Alli and I up now? I have something to show you, so you know what to wear Sunday," I speak confidently into the phone.

"On my way," he shuts his car door. I am shocked that he was already in there. He hangs up and Alli looks at me.

"He's going to love it on you," she says, overly excited. "What do you plan on showing him?" she questions.

"The necklace and the bracelet, that's all," I say. She wriggles in her spot, sitting on the curb, vaguely reminding me of a dog wagging it's tail. I cant resist laughing. She starts laughing too, unknowingly at her own expense. I hear loud music, but it stops when I look up. Eli pulls to the curb near us and unlocks the door, he hops out walking to the back of the hearse. We meet him there handing him out dresses.

"No peeking," I say giggling. He fake pouts. I hand him my bag with my shoes but hold onto the accessory bag.

"Fine, but what's that," he point to the small bag in my hand. I pull out the necklace and the bangles. "Red," her smiles, wincing lightly when he tugs at his split lip. Alli walks to the passenger door, leaving us alone.

"Still hurts," I touch his lip with my thumb, pulling down to see the slit along the inside, also.

"A little, nothing a kiss can't fix," he smirks and I let his lip free, I kiss the cut carefully, applying almost no pressure.

**So a little shorter than the last, mostly just a way to get to Eli point of view, for the dance. So yeah, dance next chapter? Also I still need pool answers! **


	13. Chapter 12: It's Alright, No, It's Ok

**Here is number twelve, the dance. Enjoy! Also, for anyone who hasn't seen, Clare's entire outfit is on my profile, they are labeled there, so check it?**

I pull up at her house, wearing a black dress shirt, a black tie, a red blazer, with a surprise in the right outside pocket, I have new black jeans on, without any fading and black boots. I exhale and remove the keys from the ignition. I stuff them in my left pocket and move slowly towards the door. I take each step slowly and knock lightly. I notice there are no cars in her driveway, as she opens the door. I stare in awe as I take in the vision of perfect.

Her black dress with red accessories gave her an attractive gothic edge. I step closer evaluating her face, she has red lips, with black eye shadow with a silvery touch. She has a natural blush on her cheeks, probably from my stare.

"You look, amazing," I bring my lips to her cheek, not wanting to be wearing her lipstick, also. She takes me in, too. She tugs at my blazer before smirking her own grin. She toys with a camera for a second before setting it on a stack of books, on the dark oak table behind her couch.

"You do too, now look at the camera." it flashes as soon as smile, perfect timing. I reach into my pocket and touch the tiny secret. She walks off into the dinning room and comes back with a napkin. She carefully removes her lipstick and throws the napkin away.

I step to her and kiss her firmly on the lips, causing her to blush some more. I offer my arm to her and she takes it at the bend, we walk out her door and I open Morty on her side. I drive quietly and think about the surprise I have for her deep in my pocket. We get to the school for the first time since school let out in June. I pull the tickets from the glove box and she meets me half way in front of Morty.

She smiles and I take her hand, interlocking my fingers with hers. I feel a spark of something inside of me and it makes me smirk. We get to the door and Sav asks us for our tickets I hand them to him and he waves us inside. As we enter the gym, Clare turns heads. She blushes and looks to the ground.

"Look up, show everyone how beautiful you are," I whisper in her ear, kissing the side of her hair. She doesn't look up. "Look up, please?" I plead, and hear Adam.

"Damn, girl you look great. I am proud to say you are my best friend, that's a girl." he pauses then turns his attention to me. "Look at that trophy you have there," he nods in Clare's direction causing her to look up at him. She smiles at him.

"I told you," I whisper before placing another kiss on her head. She looks around to see some people dancing and a few people looking. As the night begins we dance a little, she is obviously shy about it. We talk about little things, and decide to play some games. I lead her to a blackjack table set up in one corner of our almost unrecognizable gym. She takes a seat and Holly J deals out two cards to everyone, one face down and one face up. I stand behind her and look at her cards, she holds a jack and a three.

"Hit," I whisper to her. She taps her fingers on the table and repeats after me. She is dealt a seven. She looks up to me and smiles. She wins the first round, and continues to play for a few more. She wins overall and decides its time to take a break.

"Someone seems to be my good luck charm," she says giggling. We find a table to sit at and talk a bit more about the surrounding people.

"Happy three months," I say leaning over the table to kiss her.

"Three great months," she says kissing me again. I put a hand in my pocket and once again remember the surprise that is held safely inside.

"I have a surprise for you," I whisper. "I think I am going to go get us, pizza and punch." I say walking around the table meant for two, I kiss her hair again and walk away.

I talk to Adam at the food table and pull the surprise out of my pocket showing him a quick glimpse.

"You think she is ready for that?" a nervous smile appears on his face. "It is kind of a big step in a relationship." he whispers.

"I think she is, I have been waiting for the perfect time to tell her." I say grabbing some food, and then two drinks. I figure out how I intend to carry them all and start back to our table. I nearly drop everything when I see who she is sitting with. Fitz stares at her like she is some sort of smutty girl he is used to hooking up with. Clare stands up and is talking to him when he gets up too, I keep walking at a calm pace, who knows they could be just talking about anything. That thought calms me until he pulls her to him, kissing her passionately, and deeply. I drop a cup and speed up, going to the table. Clare pulls away and looks at me like she could cry at any second. He turns to look at me and smiles.

'Get away from her, now." I say anger building in my throat. He takes a rough step, more like a stomp to get closer to me.

"Or what?" he taunts me, "Hmm?" he continues to taunt me. I look at Clare whose eyes have begun to fill with tears as she shakes her head, "no". I see Adam coming towards us, Mr. Simpson hot on his heels. I sigh inwardly.

"Fitz, just leave the girl alone. She's my girlfriend, not yours." I say trying to keep my voice controlled.

"Didn't seem like it when she was just kissing me." he continues to taunt, stepping closer and closer. I hear a terrified gasp from Clare, reassuring me.

"She wouldn't," I say feeling my voice getting weak. Around the three of us a small circle has grown. "Fitz, I'm not going to fight you." I inhale, hoping Simpson could get here before he could try.

"I am going to fight _you_," he say sadistically.

"You are in fact not going to, Mr. Fitzgerald." Mr. Simpson breaks into the circle. I exhale deeply as he grabs a hold of Fitz's coat, he escorts him from the gym, giving me a warning look. I run over to Clare who is only a few feet away,

"Eli, no I-I didn't, really." She lets the welled up tears loose.

"Shh, I know," I coo in her ear. "I saw everything, it's alright, no more tears." I kiss her head. She faces me and I wipe the streaks of black off her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," she practically cries out. She lets a few more tears slip before her eyes dry up. I kiss her cheek, which is damp a little, from the tears still.

"Don't, its ok. Why don't we go somewhere we can be alone, and talk." I suggest, she nods and I wrap an arm around her waist and lead her out of the gym. She is obviously shaken by the event in the gym because she is extremely quiet. I take a seat on a plastic white bench sitting outside the school, I pull her down and she sits sideway on the bench facing me.

"Look, Clare," I start and she seems upset, "He is just trying to get to me, using you. He is trying to make e jealous, and it's working." I say, she still looks sad and scared. "You just need to know it isn't your fault. You can't help if you are excessively beautiful, and everyone knows." a smile plays at the corners of her mouth. "Which is too bad for them because you are mine, and unless you want to change that, it is staying that way." she stares at me.

"Never," she says weakly.

"What I am trying to say is, I love you can I can picture you and me together ten years down the road. That surprise," I dig in my pocket and pull out a silver ring that has her name cut into it, mine cut into the other side. "its like a promise to be here for you, and be whatever or who ever you need, always." her eyes fill with tears again and I hand her the ring. She slips it on her right ring finger, and looks at it.

"I love you, Eli." she says before pushing her lips on mine.

**So someone suggested a little Fitz flirting and a tad bit of jealously. They must have been reading my mind, because this was my dance plan from the beginning. Another person suggested Clare breaking up with Eli, and there is relationship tension coming up in a few chapters.**

**So, if you wouldn't mind…reviewing….**

**Also I really need a few more responses on my name poll!**

**Also I was rereading old chapter and noticed quite a few mistakes so i am going to begin to double proof read them.**


	14. Chapter 13: It's Getting Serious

**Here's thirteen, I may stop this at fifteen or twenty. Possibly do a sequel. Let me know your thoughts on that?**

********

Ok, so Mysterious not signed in reviewer "Kim" If you would, PM me and I could give you a minor speak peak. I try to reply to all my reviewers but it is much easier when you sign in.

I get up, thinking about the previous nights events. Eli gave me a ring, promising to be here for me whenever, and my heart is still doing cartwheels. I think about the last time I emailed Darcy and it's been about a month. I get out of bed and turn on my computer. After it loads and I log in I start typing.

"Darcy, you've been away for so long, but things around here are great. Eli and I have been dating for three months yesterday, and he told me he loved me for the first time about a week ago. I know it means something because he doesn't throw the word around like a toy. Last night there was a dance at school, sort of an end of summer fun thing, the theme was "A Night Under The Vegas Lights". Oh Darcy, it was crazy! Eli's tormentor kissed me, I think trying to get to Eli, but on an emotional level, I really thought Eli was going to kill him then. Luckily, Mr. Simpson came and broke it up before there was really anything to break up. Eli gave me a ring after the incident, promising to be here for me whenever I need him, and I actually believe him. I do!

"Even things with mom and dad are getting better, dad came home after he was gone for almost a month, and they hardly ever fight anymore. Who ever said a little time apart was bad? I am happy with everything for the first time in a while. Eli gets into some trouble here and there, like last week, he tried talking Adam out of a fight with Fitz (the creep who kissed me) and he ended up getting punched in the face, his lip is still split pretty much, and there is a thin cut along the inside of his mouth from his bottom teeth, but Peter said it's different from their prospective, because it isn't that bad.

"Well I am going to go now, miss you bunches, Clare."

I click the send button and see a flashing light along the bottom of my screen, indicating I have a new message, so I click on it.

**Eli-gold49: hey Clare**

**Clare-e23: hey Eli**

**Eli-gold49: what are you up to?**

**Clare-e23: nothing really, emailed my sister. how about you?**

**Eli-gold49: same bunch of nothing as always**

**Clare-e23: I know what you mean**

**Clare-e23: I think my parents just called me downstairs. can I talk to you after?**

**Eli-gold49: sure thing**

I minimize the window and open my door, my mom is standing there, about to knock. She jumps back, just as startled as myself.

"Yeah, mom?" I ask catching my breath from the scare. She smiles sweetly.

"We want to talk to you about something." she continue to smile, but that is rarely a good thing when a parent wants to talk.

"Uh-ok mom," I close my door and follow her downstairs. There is a pamphlet on the table and my dad is reading through it, from where I am standing I can't quite make out what it says.

"Take a seat, honey." my dad looks at me, over the frames of his glasses. I pull the chair across from him out sitting down, obediently. "We have arranged for you to go to a week of bible camp," he says emotionlessly.

"You what?" I ask pushing myself away from the table, standing up. "You want me to spend my last week of summer at a bible camp?"

"We think its best, seeing as you are involved with a boy and it's starting to look serious." he gives me a stern look. I groan, wanting to scream.

"When do I leave," I ask fighting back a flood of tears.

"Tonight," my father states blankly. "You have to be there by five o'clock." I storm off to my room and hear him yell, "Pack clothes for eight days." I throw random clothes into my suitcase, not caring what they were or if they matched. I zip it shut and throw it to the floor. I let lose the scream I had been holding, since I was at the table, into a thick pillow. Then I get back on my computer.

**Clare-e23: they are sending me away**

**Eli-gold49: what?**

**Clare-e23: yeah my parents are sending me away for a week**

**Eli-gold49: why? when? **

**Clare-e23: I leave at before four**

**Eli-gold49: and they just decided to tell you now?**

**Clare-e23: yeah. because I am involved with a boy and it seems serious**

**Eli-gold49: where are they sending you?**

**Clare-e23: bible camp**

**Eli-gold49: wow Clare I'm really sorry. I wish I could do something to help**

**Clare-e23: its not your fault**

**Eli-gold49: who cares whose fault it is, you are upset and I cant help you**

**Clare-e23: I know but why spring it on me now?**

**Eli-gold49: I don't know can you hang?**

**Clare-e23: I don't know, its seems kind of serious**

**Eli-gold49: ha defiantly, you know I would never pressure you**

**Clare-e23: I'm asking them if I can have my last bit of freedom with you. I'll text you**

**Eli-gold49: alright I'll be ready to come pick you up**

**Clare-e23: thanks **

**Clare-e23 is offline.**

I grab my suitcase and storm downstairs my parents sit at the table still looking at the some other papers, I throw my suitcase by the door and storm in.

"Since you are sending me away for a week can I at least spend a little time with Eli before I leave?" I ask, but say it more like a demand.

"I guess so," my mother says. I walk out the front door and text Eli, asking him to meet me at The Dot. I start the ten minute walk, but only get about half way there when Eli pulls over. I get in and hang my head.

"I'm sorry," Eli says again. I lose a few tears and he starts to drive in the direction of his house. Since it was early in the day, no one would be there. We get in and go to his room, and he let's me cry for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry I'm doing this, I just don't know why they didn't tell me until today," I wipe my face and Eli helps, using his sleeve.

"It's fine, how about this, when do you come home from tort-bible camp?" he asks making mr laugh a sad and forced laugh.

"Sunday after a huge ceremony, so around three or four," I guess and he pulls he closer. He kisses the top of me head, right at my hairline.

"Meet me at The Dot, I will sit there from two to five, waiting for you, ok?" he says in complete seriousness.

"Alright," I say biting my lip. I don't want to go to camp, but they haven't left me with much choice. Eli leans in and kisses me soundly on my lips. He pushes me onto my back and continues to kiss me, I kiss him, back smiling into it. I find myself, laying under Eli's warm body, but he holds himself up, putting little actual weight on me. After a solid ten minutes of this, his phones rings, he jumps a little then sits up.

"Hello," he says into the phone, rather quietly. He looks over at me, laying down still. "I have to take this real quick," he scurries out of the room, I don't think much of it. He stays on the phone for what seems like hours, really only twenty minutes or so.

He reenters the room, "Sorry to keep you waiting," he says with apology in his eyes. I smile and kiss his cheek, accepting the apology.

"So what are we going to do, we have two to three hours," I note the time, its noon. I sit up and look at him. He smirks.

"I know what we could do," he leans over starting to push me back. I giggle and kiss him lightly on the lips. "I'm kidding, let's watch a movie," he kisses me, again. He gets off his bed and looks under the TV stand for a DVD to watch. He puts in Monsters Inc. we watch through the movie feeling like kids the whole time.

After the movie is over its two thirty, I think that three thirty is a good time to be home by, giving an hour for the drive there. I start to feel upset again because of the limited time I have before leaving.

"Lunch," he suggests, sounding half asleep. I nod into his chest and he pushed himself to a straight sitting position, from the angled half lay he was in. I sit up too, stretching my arms, yawning. We go to The Dot and get lunch, he kisses me hard on the lips before we get back into the hearse.

"I'm going to miss you," he says sweetly, just over a whisper. He turns out of the parking lot in the direction of my house.

"I don't want to go," I say pulling my phone out.

_Don't text this week, I'm gone until Sunday._

I send as a mess text to Alli, Adam. I decide to send it to Jenna who I could imaging working things out with, seeing at it seems like she could use a friend right now. I turn my phone off before I get and answers. I look at Eli, who has stopped the car a street away from mine.

"Why are we stopped here," I ask, confused. Eli slide over close to me and I look into his eyes. He kisses me strongly and passionately like we will never see each other again.

"I love you," he says pulling away out of breath, it brings tears to my eyes.

"I love you too," they spill over my lower eye lid. Eli laughs a pathetic laugh, and I look up to see that his eyes are moist, but barely.

"Sorry," he breathes in through his nose, not quite sniffing, this being the second time that his eyes ever appeared this way. This first time when he told me about Julia, but even then I wasn't sure because I had been crying. But after seeing his eyes moist just now, I know his eyes welled up then, too.

He kisses me once more before quickly wiping his eyes and putting the hearse in drive. He drives the rest of the way to my house, pulling to the curb across the street.

"Have fun, really, Clare." he pauses. "I love you," he says and I get out walking around to the drivers side, his window is rolled down. I lean into the car and give him an innocent kiss.

"I love you, too." I whisper before turning around an walking to my front door. My dad is watching something on TV and ignores me when I come inside. My mother rushes to the door.

"Go change we leave in twenty minutes,"

**Ok, so bible camp? Ha.**

**What do you think. I still need poll answers! Two chapters before I need the name.**


	15. Chapter 14: Oh, Oh Guys Night

**So this is the Thursday Clare is gone at bible camp! I know everyone is jealous of her and would love to be at bible camp.**

My Clare free week is half over, making me realize that I need her. If something ever happened between us, I'm not sure I could move on.I decide it is time I do something other than mope around the house. I call Adam, planning to ask for the guys night.

"Eli?" Adam asks me sounding shocked that I called.

"Yeah, what are you doing?" I'm confused but I try to shake it off.

"Where have you been? What's going on with Clare? Why haven't you had your phone on?" he fires questions at me rapidly.

"Whoa, slow down. What are you doing?" I repeat, laughing a little.

"Nothing, now answer me," he demands.

"I'll pick you up in five," I hang the phone up on him. I burst into a fit of laughter, my entire body quaking. I wipe tears from my eyes, he is so hyper sometimes. I take Morty out for a spin a few streets away picking Adam up. He gets in and starts the rounds again

"Eli," he yells at I continue to ignore him. I use most my strength to hold a serious face. I drive on turn at my house.

I get out smirking and let him in, he groans obnoxiously until we're sitting at my table. He slumps down in his chair.

"Ok, so my phone died and I didn't even notice. That is why my phone has been off, I have just been leaving it here. Clare is away until Sunday, but off limits until Monday." I say without much emotion. "Oh, and I have been sitting around here doing nothing." I smirk.

"Ok, so that didn't answer where Clare is," he prods.

"Ah, it seems I must have forgotten that part. Clare was sent away to Bible Camp, because she is with a guy and it seems serious," I keep a straight face, telling him what I know.

"So they sent her away," Adam makes a confused yet annoyed face.

"Yep, that's it." I say nodding.

"Ok, so why am I here?" he sounds inaudibly confused, and for some sick reason I am enjoying it greatly.

"We are having guys night," I show him the pay-per-view schedule, then pull a credit card from my pocket. His smiles and nods slyly.

"I'm in," he goes and throws himself on my couch, swinging his feet up on the second and third cushion. I smack his legs with the pay-per-view schedule I printed out. He bends his knees giving me room to sit. I pick up the remote off the coffee table.

"It's all you," I toss the black direct-TV remote. He opens the guide. And scrolls down to the pay-per-view selection, then finds a list of MMA fights. I watch as he scrolls through, he finds one and hands the remote to me, I type in the code on the credit card. The screen changes and Adam gets excited.

"My dads gone for the night so we can be in here all night, not like he'd notice anyway." I look around the living room. "Will your mom let you stay?" I almost forgot about her.

"Probably," he says engrossed with the fighting. I have been in enough fights this year to really care about watching one, but I keep an eye on the TV for a while. I start getting hungry around eight o'clock or so and head to the kitchen. I look around for junk food and hit the jackpot in the cupboard above the fridge. I pull out three bags of chips and a six pack of soda from the fridge.

"I'll call my mom," he gets up after I set the food and drinks on my coffee table. He paces while he is talking to her, along the hallway down the center of my house.

"This is awesome," he comes in saying. "Thanks Eli for making up for last time. I can stay, she wants us to stop there though," he finishes. We watch a short fight and then leave to go to his house. The ride is quiet and awkward. We go inside and Adam rushes to his room. I stand on the doormat after shutting the door, my hands stuffed deep into my pockets.

"Oh, hello there, Eli. I didn't hear you two come in," his mother smiles warmly at me.

"Yeah, we just got here," I inform her.

"Oh, well what are you two going to do tonight?" she asks, I am not entirely sure, but think of something to tell her.

"Well, we were going to order a couple movies on pay-per-view, eat a little junk food, hopefully sleep," I turn my answer to a joke.

"Well, you boys have fun. Keep my baby safe," she looks up the stairs.

"Will do," I say imagining the look that would have been on Adam's face if he had heard her tell me to, "Keep her baby safe," I laugh and she comes to where I am standing, with my hands still jammed in my jeans.

"Did you say something?" she asks seriously.

"No I coughed, sorry." clearing my throat, for some reason parents make me nervous. I suppose it could be since I have raised myself since I was thirteen. Adam comes down the stairs with his bag, finally, I think to myself.

"You all ready?" he nods.

"Leaving, bye mom," he yells into the big house. We leave before she says anything back and get into Morty. When we're back at my house, we return to the couch and eat junk food while watching fights. Throughout most of the entire night we are quiet, aside from the occasional; "Ouch," "Ahh," and "That's going to hurt in the morning.".

I drift away mildly alert of my surrounding, but I start to dream. I see Clare and I walking hand in hand she's taller, but I appear to be also. We are walking through a path and I see trees on both sides. We press through the forest as the path starts to disappear. I see a brightly lit clearing up a head. I look to see what I am wearing and I have a white long sleeved button down shirt and tight blue jeans. Once we approach the clearing, I can tell it's a meadow, flowers and all. Clare turns to me, pulling me close. She kisses my lips and undoes the buttons of my shirt. She slides it off my arms, and I sparkle.

I take a ridged inhale and Adam looks at me, like I startled him. I breathe heavily, like after a run, to calm down. I have to stop watching those vampire movies with Clare.

"Dude, you ok?" he asks wearily.

"Yeah, yeah. Rough dream, I never should have given into Clare," I say Adam looks confused once again, today. "She had me watch Twilight," I shudder.

"Guess I know who wears the pants in that relationship," he laughs.

"Shut up," I throw a pillow at him, glad I invited him here.

**So who is ready for Clare to come back?**


	16. Chapter 15: Surprise, Surprise

**Chapter Fifteen, it's a big one.**

**Reviewer "DontStopBelieving" I like your idea, but if you would just read this chapter you **

**will see why I can't do that.**

"Finally," I say when my mom approaches me from the crowd of parents. She rushes to me once she had me locked in her line of vision.

"Clare, how was camp?" she asks enthusiastically.

"Fine, let's just go." I say, she hands me my phone and iPod. I turn my phone on and see that it's only one. We will be home in an hour and I can surprise Eli earlier than like three. I put my suitcase in the trunk of the car and get in, I debate texting Eli telling him, but a feel a surprise is much more fun. I put my headphones in and listen to music almost the entire ride home, not wanting to talk about camp. When we are fifteen minutes away from being home, I take my headphones out.

"Can you take me to The Dot, I am supposed to be meeting Eli there," I look at her and she wears an unsure look of what to say.

"Yeah, I want you home at a reasonable hour though, nine." She says giving me a curfew. I feel annoyed, but ignore it to listen to more music. I nod to get her to stop glancing in my direction every few seconds. I am still frustrated with them about sending me away to camp without talking to me first. The closer to the school we get the more excited I am. She turn onto the street The Dot is on.

"Stop here, I want to surprise him, the car door will make him look." she pulls over, and I hop out and start walking. She drives slowly and opens the automatic window on the passengers side.

"Be good," she pulls away. I walk the short distance to The Dot and see Eli sitting with his back to the door, he appears to be playing with his phone. I walk in opening the door slowly so the bell doesn't ring out too loudly, I wave to Peter who is working. Sneaking up on him, I hear his phone ring as he answers with a gentle, "Hello". the sound makes my heart melt and want to go up to hug the life out of him. As I get even closer, like five feet away, I can hear bits of his conversation.

"Honey, why are you crying? Is everything alright?" he questions to the unknown person on the other line.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. It will be ok, I know it will. Does he know you are talking to me now?" he continues, confusing me beyond belief.

"No, I don't think Clare has a clue, I am a good secret keeper," I stand in shock not knowing how to react, I debate tapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"I really can't wait to see you, again," he is making it worse and worse the more he goes on. I feel like crying, but wait to hear the rest.

"I love you too, Janie, bye." he says hanging up the phone, I slip out of the restaurant as quickly and quietly as I came in, looking at Peter and placing a finger over my lips telling him not to say anything. As I start walking away the tears begin to pour. I make my way to the park and sit under a large tree, ignoring the looks I get from people. I bend my knees up and burry my hands, holding my head, in my lap. After crying for a few minutes I wipe my face with the inside of my sweater. I lean my head against the tree, closing my eyes briefly. I open them and wrap my arms around my middle, holding onto my opposite elbows.

I whimper slightly here and there, tears still exiting my eyes in an orderly fashion. I continue to hold myself when I hear a voice that is both familiar and foreign. The boy sits next to me and I look over, Fitz.

"What do you want, Fitz?" I ask with a shaken up voice. He sighs a little before scooting a bit closer.

"What's wrong?" he asks, sounding honestly caring about me. I wipe my face again and sniff, but its useless the tears continue to invade my face. "I'm not going to hurt you," he states, but I could tell before hand.

"I know," I say softly. I am shaking slightly from crying. "Eli's cheating on me," I whisper, hardly believing it myself.

"Why would he do that, especially to such a cute girl, like you." he says, honestly trying to console me, that or he could be an actor because he was selling it.

"I don't know," I say sniffling once more.

"Well, can you tell me what happened?" He asks, I don't want to repeat the words I heard Eli say, but I feel like it would make me feel better to get them out.

"Well, I heard him on the phone with some girl, he called her 'Honey,' and said he 'Couldn't wait to see her,' then he asked, 'Does he know you're talking to me now?', Then he said 'I don't Clare has a clue." then he told her he loved her and I left." I bite my lip trying to stop crying. Fitz places a warm hand on my right shoulder.

"Well, if its what it sounds like it is, he's an idiot." I look to him and his sincerity nearly makes me explode with shock.

"Why are you being like this, Fitz?" I try to toughen up my voice, but I fail.

"I'm trying to help out a person who needs a friend to talk to," his blue eyes seem almost insulted by my defensive nature towards him. He stands up.

"Sorry, I've built up a defensive wall against you." I confess, he holds out a hand, signaling for me to get up.

"Want to take a walk?" he asks, making me nervous. "Just in the park, its daylight, I won't do anything, promise." he takes note of my nerves. Against what my head is telling me to do I take the hand extended towards me and pull myself up with Fitz's help.

"Thanks," I whisper.

"I'm sorry, I don't try to make your life hell, Its just, Eli, he grinds my gears. I know I started with it, but he just won't let it end. I thought we made peace, and the kid has me arrested." he brushes a hand across my back, then puts his hand at his side. I slowly become more and more comfortable with him.

"I know, Eli can be stubborn. He likes being on top," I say and Fitz stares wide eyed. "Oh, no not like that, I mean of the food chain. Purity ring," I say then point to my left hand. He nods.

"Well I am still willing to end this, but he doesn't seem so willing." he stops and looks at a man throwing a Frisbee with his dog.

"You never know, can we, uhmm- talk about something else?" I ask politely.

"Sorry, yeah." he say looking apologetic. We continue to walk through the park and talk. At six o'clock I look at the time, shocked that I had been talking to Fitz for so long.

"Wow, it's getting late," I point out. We stop walking for a minute and he turns to talk face to face with me.

"Can I see your phone, I'll put my number in there, but I won't put you in my phone." I hand him my phone without hesitation. "I want you to see I'm not all bad guy, its no pressure. If you ever need me," he trails off handing me my phone back. "I could walk you to your house, its getting kind of dark." he says, in a friendly manor. I nod and we walk in the direction of my house. We get there and he stops me before I go in and wraps his arms around me, patting my back.

"Thanks for giving me a shot," he says letting me go. "Feel better, and remember if you ever need someone to talk to." I go inside. I go right up to my room and pay no attention to anything but getting under the hot water of my shower.

**I am splitting this day into three parts, Clare, Eli, and Clare again. **

**Don't hate me for this!**

**Also Hinder - Lips Of An Angel, gave me the inspiration for this. **

**SORRY!**

**I have a new poll up, check it out. I bet you can never guess what is for...**

**Shout out to anyone who actually guesses it!**

**GO VOTE!**


	17. Chapter 16: Patients Is a Virtue

**Ok, so I think I can safely say you all hate me right now, right?**

**DontStopBelieving, who ever you are, Thank you. I love everything you have said, tell me who you are?**

The Dot grows more and more lonely as the day presses on. My only human contact was a short comfort phone call around two o'clock. I don't move from my corner table until three thirty. I walk up to the counter.

"Can I get water and a burger?" I ask Peter, he pulls a note pad from his pocket.

"What do you want on it?" he asks writing down water and burger with a blue pen.

"Hamburger, that's it." I say looking out the door and then the windows. He scribbles down plain under the word burger.

"What are you doing here anyway?" he asks, not in a rude tone.

"Waiting for Clare to get back from Bible Camp," I laugh lightly when I say "Bible Camp"

"Oh," he says trailing off at the end, I eye him suspiciously. "Her parents are a little much with that, huh?"

"Yeah, you are telling me. She was sent there last minute they didn't even warn her. They told her that it's because she's with me and its getting serious." I mock her mocking her mom.

"Well, they are strong with their beliefs, I'm going to go get your order in, you are welcome to stay as long as you need." he says I go back to my table and play Tetris on my phone while waiting for my food.

"Here's your food, and your bill," Peter startles me when he sets the plate down with my drink. He hands me my bill and starts to walk away.

"Wait," he turns to look at me I pull out a ten from my wallet. "that is all set," I say handing the money over, leaving him with a four dollar tip. I put a little catsup on my food and some on the side of my plate. I start nibbling at a few fries and then eat the burger. I finish eating, and its just after four, I had expected her to be here by now, unless her parents are against her seeing me. Bored, I call Adam.

"Hey," he answers after it rings for over a minute.

"Hi, could I barrow the book you read for summer reading, I'm bored out of my mind?" I ask almost in a begging tone.

"Yeah, I have another one you could read too, since it could look suspicious if we have the same teacher, we're friends, and read the same book." he points out making sense.

"What do you have?" I ask.

"I have _Its Kind of a Funny Story _and _Impulse._" he pauses. "My mom got them for 'Gracie' so they are a pinch on the girl side, but they aren't bad, really." he says trying to convince me.

"What are they about, and which did you read?"

"I read the first one, it was about a kid who admits himself to a mental hospital because he thinks about killing himself." he says, it sounds interesting, but he read it.

"The other one?" I push him to go on.

"Its about three different kids who attempt suicide, and they are in an institution and it goes through the recovery process of them." he finishes.

"Could you bring that one to The Dot, I am waiting for Clare who is taking longer than I thought she would. I figure get some work done before its due." I look around the outside through the glass windows and still don't see her.

"Yeah, I'll have my mom drive me, and I'll just run in to give it to you." he says, I appreciate his not wanting to stay.

"Thanks dude," I say and hang up. I play around some more on my phone waiting for Adam. The bell on the door rings out and I see Adam rush in.

"Here, I'd stay but I have stuff to do and Clare should be here anytime." he says.

"Thanks again," I say and he waves bye and leaves. I read from quarter to five until seven o'clock, the book pulls me in and I don't even notice how long it has been until I get thirsty and get up to get more water from Peter. I see another blonde guy behind the counter, this one with curly hair.

"Can I help you?" he asks me.

"Could I get a refill on my water," I say looking at the clock. I give Gavin, I read off his name tag, my glass. After getting my water I sit back down and take a sip, I reopen the book and decide if she isn't here by eight I will go home and just call her. I read about twenty pages before someone kicks my chair.

"What the hell," I snap looking up to see it's Fitz. I groan loudly. "What do you want." I demand.

"You have some real nerve, kid." he shakes his head with a disgusted face. I am confused but before I an answer he walks out. Ok then, I think to myself. I read a little more and my phone lights up signifying that I have a text.

_Eli, about Thursday I can't, how about Friday._

_Friday is perfect, Clare never showed up so I couldn't tell her._

I text Janie back and get up to leave, stopping at the counter with my dishes.

"Thanks, Gavin," I say.

"Call me Spinner," he says and I leave. I am worried about Clare, so I get into Morty and drive a little over the legal limit so I can get home faster. My dad is at the table when I come in.

"Elijah," he beckons me to the kitchen. I go in and stand across from him, putting a hand on the opposite chair. "Two weeks, I am having people from work over, I'll give you two hundred dollars to bartend for the party." he offers.

"Can Clare hang around then?" I ask before accepting anything. He nods. "Ok, I'll do it." I say and turn to go to my room. I call Clare's phone and she doesn't answer but it rings. Worry grows inside me and I log into my instant messenger to check if she is on. She isn't, I shower and think maybe she doesn't have her phone back yet. After my shower I call her back, this time someone answers, but it isn't Clare.

"She isn't available at the moment," the voice says then hangs up.

**Who is it? Hmm? Take a guess?**

**Still hate me?**

**Vote on my poll, anyone who can guess what it's for gets a shout out!**


	18. Chapter 17: Worlds Are Spinning Around

**Here is number seventeen, please go vote on my new poll, it is very important that I get some feedback, or I can't do that part.**

**Shout Out to for being my 50****th**** reviewer! Mrs. ElijahGoldsworthy**

After I shower and get dressed it is nearly eight o'clock, there is a small rumble in my stomach and I go downstairs to the kitchen. I grab takeout container and open it to see what is inside. Plain white rice, I dump the little bit of rice into a microwave safe bowl. I walk away while it heats up, I notice a few things are out of place, they are gone.

I leave the kitchen and go into the living room, I notice a lot of my dads things have been moved. My mom doesn't notice me enter the room. I go upstairs to the bathroom and see all of his personal products are gone, I run into their room and open one of his drawers, empty. I fall back and sit on the bed and anger wells up in me, anger and sadness. I want to scream at the top of my lungs but that would be a point of weakness. I go to my room and grab my phone, not looking at it I stuff it in my pocket. And grab and overnight bag and fill it with clothes.

I storm downstairs and approach my mother. She is watching TV and doesn't notice me until I step in front of it. I must look incredibly pissed off because her eyes get wide.

"You sent me off to camp so he could leave, without me knowing right away. My father moves out and neither of you fucking tell me," I snap letting my tears leave my body. "I hate you," I say and walk out of the house, unsure of where I could go. I pull out my phone and see that Eli had called I delete the missed call and text the last person I ever would have expected to yesterday, but today was a new, crappy, day.

_Is it too soon to take you up on that offer?_

I text Fitz as I continue to walk down my street to an unknown location. I make it to the corner and turn right. I feel my phone vibrate in my hand.

_Never too soon, what's up?_

_Could we go somewhere to talk, The Dot?_

I ask knowing that I am putting myself at risk of seeing Eli. I assume he has gone home by now, but the kid is ruthless. He could stay there all night if he wanted.

_I'll meet you there._

He replies and I turn around to go in that direction. I walk somewhat fast, but try to hide my tears from the cars that drive by me. A young woman drives by and slows down giving me a concerned look, I stare at the ground the rest of the walk. I enter The Dot and see a single table open, no other but the one Eli had been sitting at just hours before. I pull the chair across from there out and sit down. I put my head down and cry to myself. I feel a hand on my back and assume it's Fitz.

"Little Edwards," the person says, I look up to see its Spinner.

"Oh, hi." I whisper.

"Look I know Darcy hates me, but what's wrong?" he asks pulling the chair to my right out. I cry even harder at the mention of Darcy.

"Everything, I miss Darcy, Eli is cheating on me, my parents sent me away to Bible Camp so that my dad could move out, without telling me." I feel my body quake as I tell him. "I really don't want to go into detail right now, I'm waiting for a friend to come,' I say trying not to offend him.

"I understand," he says getting up and pushing the chair in. He walks away and once he is behind the counter the bell rings. Fitz takes a look around then sees me.

"You're crying, again." he points out, sitting in the same chair Eli was in earlier.

"I am," I agree, resting my head in my hands. My arms are propped up on the table by my elbows.

"Well, care to tell old Fitzy why?" he stares at me with his eyes burning with concern. I know I should have called Alli, or gone there and showed up randomly at her door, but something made me want to talk to Fitz.

"My dad moved out while I was away at camp,' I barely manage to whisper to him, he leans a little closer to me.

"Clare, you are really hard to hear you are going to have to try and speak up a little. Now why are you suddenly upset about it just now and not before camp, or even earlier?" he asks confused.

"I didn't know he was leaving, they both knew and didn't tell me. That is why they sent me to Bible Camp, not because things with Eli were getting serious. My mother, she picked me up from camp and dropped me off here she didn't say anything. I go home and she says nothing, I didn't notice until I was cooking and noticed some of his things were missing.

"I am so naïve. I can't believe I actually believed that Eli loved me, that my parents love me." I start to blame myself for everything that happened.

"You can't honestly believe that this is your fault," he says moving over a seat to where Spinner sat down. "Clare you didn't do anything wrong, they're all stupid. Eli is a fool for cheating on you, and your parents obviously don't deserve a daughter like you." he comforts me.

"Then why did he do it? Why didn't they tell me? Things went to hell when my sister went to Kenya, she's better than me in every single way." I can't stop crying, normally I would be embarrassed by my red and puffy eyes, but Fitz didn't seem to care about that, just me feeling better.

"Eli is an idiot, no one with any sense would cheat on you, I'll say that until you believe it. Maybe your parents were trying to keep it from hurting you more, with seeing him move out and everything. Also, it is going to take a lot of convincing for you to get me to believe she is better than you, in every single way." he says, making me feel guilty for being so defensive and sometimes rude to him.

"She's prettier, she does charity in Kenya, she was everything they asked for up until a year before she left for Kenya." I feel better and better as I tell everything to Fitz, but the worst of all the hurt from today is knowing that Eli cheated on me.

"I doubt that, so you haven't gone to Kenya to do charity, who cares. I you are a pretty great person, you are in the gifted program at school, and you are really pretty." he says, putting a hand on my right arm that is sitting over top of the left arm. My phone starts ringing.

"It's Eli," I say my heart breaking a little more, my stomach knots. "What do I do?" I ask and he puts a hand out asking for me to give him the phone with his eyebrows.

"I won't say who it is, I'll just say you can't talk at the moment," he says and I give him the phone, after clicking the answer button.

"Clare?" I hear him say to the air, and I can't catch my breath. I want to rip the phone from Fitz and forgive Eli. But that won't help anything.

"She isn't available at the moment," he says into the speaker. I feel sick and Fitz seems to notice. "Are you ok?" he asks quickly. I stop crying, as if my tear ducts have run dry.

"Yeah, I just haven't eaten anything today." I say looking for my wallet in my bag full of clothes. I groan not too loudly.

"I got it," he pulls out his wallet. He starts toward the counter and looks back at me. I grab my bag and follow him. He sits at a bar stool and pats the one next to him. I sit at it and Spinner comes over.

"I thought you said he cheated on you?" he questions me. Fitz shakes his head "no" almost laughing hysterically.

"He's not my boyfriend," I let a little laugh out, "He is," I point to my phone, which is ringing once again. I look to Fitz who picks it up.

"I said she is unavailable. Please stop calling," he goes to hang up but all three of us can here Eli yell into the phone.

"Fitz, leave her alone, or I'll call the cops, I swear to god!" I heart feels as if it has stopped. Panic filling my face.

"It's ok Clare, I got this," he says to me loud enough that Eli will hear him. "I am not holding her here, we are talking. If you call the cops you will look like an idiot, more so than you already do." Fitz says. Spinner puts a hand out for the phone.

"Hi, this is Spinner, little Edwards is fine. Don't call the cops, dude." he says, Eli screams into the air once more. I take my phone.

"I'm fine. Bye," I say sternly to him and hang up on him. I start to cry again and Fitz hugs me again.

"I should probably tell you Eli and I had a little run in today, after I walked you home. I was walking by and saw him in here," he says pausing, "I just said he had a lot of nerve and he just stared at me as I left." he says sounding honest

"Oh," I whisper, he hasn't let go yet, and lets me cry into him. Spinner makes a sound, as if he just thought of something.

"That kid was in here earlier, waiting for someone. He was here until about an hour ago," he glances at the clock, its nine. "Are you who he was waiting for?" he asks me.

"I was here at two, heard him on the phone with another girl, saying he didn't think I had a clue, he called her honey, and said he loved her." I sob harder. Fitz rubs my back lightly. After Fitz and I eat a little bit, fries for me, a slice of pizza for him, we leave. We go to the park and Eli calls again.

"Eli, can you let it go?" Fitz answers once again. He puts it on speaker phone pushing a finger against his lips.

"Fitz why can't I talk to her," he sounds pained, I try not to whimper.

"She is busy, I said let it go." Mark smiles at me rubbing my arm lightly. I feel safe with him, because I know he isn't going to try something, on me.

"Let what go, you holding my girlfriend hostage?" Mark looks like he could explode from laughter, but holds it in.

"Eli think what you may," he hangs up on him again. He hands me my phone and without hesitation I turn it off.

"Good for you," he says watching me. "What's in the bag?" he asks.

"Clothes, I swore at my mom and told her I hated her, I think I will spend the night at Alli's house." I say realizing I haven't even talked to her. "Uhmm- could I use your phone to call her house, I really want to keep mine off?" he hands me his phone. I dial Alli's home number not knowing her cell phone by heart yet.

"Hello?" Sav answers,

"Hey Sav, is Alli there, it's important." I ask him. I hear him call Alli's name and take it as a yes.

"Hey, Clare. What's up?" she says all cheery like into the phone.

"Eli is cheating on me, my parents split up while I was gone, I said 'fucking' to my mom, told her I hate her, can I stay there tonight?" I ask, inhaling deeply after.

"Yeah, come over whenever." She says.

"Thanks," I hang up, "Thanks," I repeat this time to Mark.

"I live down the street from them, I'll walk you there.' he says protectively, looking into the dark park.

"Thanks, Mark, really." I say as we start to walk.

"Wow, first name. Someone is warming up to me." he says making me smile a little. It's true. As we get closer to their end of the street I see flashing blue and red lights.

"That's my house,' he says sure of himself.

"Eli," I mumble. Mark nods to me in agreement.

"We should go over there before they send people out to look for us," he suggests, we speed up a little and when we get there I see Eli sitting on a step. Mark has a protective hand on my right arm.

"That's him," Eli stands up, pointing. I frown at the cops that approach us, shining a flashlight right at Mark's face.

"Hands off the girl, now." a female cop says, Mark lets go of my arm and puts his hands up in the air. I shake my head, hot tears forming again. Eli comes up to me.

"He didn't do anything wrong, I texted him asking to meet up with me, you can all go now." I say looking at Eli with a harsh face.

"Well, we need to talk to him and you separately." the female cops says to my, changing her direction from Mark to myself. Eli wraps an arm around my shoulders and I shrug him off.

"You have really made an ass of yourself this time." I say crying as the cop puts Mark in handcuffs and into the back of a cop car. I turn my attention to the cop. "Can I talk with you, alone." I direct the last part to Eli, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, this will be easier than taking you to the police station. Let's take a seat over here," she says pulling me away from the commotion.

"I really did ask Mark to meet me at The Dot, I needed someone to talk to because my home like isn't great at the moment, I just found out my dad left, and Eli, he cheated on me, Mark was the first person to notice me crying in the park earlier, we talked there and he walked me home. He gave me his number, refusing to take mine so I didn't feel pressured to talk to him. Him and Eli have this ongoing feud , and Eli won't just let it go. Mark is more than willing to burry the hatchet." I say in the most honest tone that I can.

"Mark was already arrested because of something Eli set up already and they went to court for it, I don't need him getting arrested again for nothing. He answered my phone when Eli called because I didn't want to talk to him, and Eli took it the wrong way." I sigh. Her face softens, into what I think to be understanding.

"Alright, I'll have a short chat with Mr. Fitzgerald and if your stories match up, I'll let him go." she smiles to me. "If you would just stay here, while I talk to him." she says, I nod and she goes to the cop car, I see her open the door and crouch next to it.

"Why are you doing this to me, you ditch me for him, what the hell Clare?" Eli takes it upon himself to sit down next to me on the curb.

**So, still hate me? Probably. Take your hate out on my poll! Correct guesser gets a Shout Out! Ha.**


	19. Chapter 18: Walking Behind Enemy Lines

**So here is chapter eighteen, I guess the last scene is going to be four chapters, not just three.**

**Ok so to clear confussion: When Fitz says to Eli "Eli, can you let it go?" it was meant in two ways. One, stop calling. Two, end their battle.**

"Why are you doing this to me, you ditch me for him, what the hell Clare?" I say trying to look her in the eye, she avoids it. "Who's side are you on?" I ask deeply hurt.

"Eli, get it in your head there are no sides, there is you fighting. Mark, he wants it ended. Every time it seems smoothed over you have to pull something." she yells at me, I start to get angry, but shove those feeling deep inside for the time being.

"Clare, I thought you loved me." I sigh, "but you ditched me, for Fitz." I hate the tension that I feel building between our bodies, set two feet apart on the curb.

"I thought the same," she whispers confusing me more than I already am. "I really believed that you loved me."

"What are you talking about Clare, of course I love you, I don't say things I don't mean to the people I love. Those people are far and few." I can feel my heart thumbing in my chest, echoing through my ears.

"Then why, why would you do this to me?" she asks me, I am unsure of how to answer her, mostly because I am not sure of what she means.

"Do what to you?" I ask finding that to be the safest way to respond.

"You are cheating on me Eli, I'm not stupid." she says my eyes nearly pop out of my head from the accusation. She places something hard and cold into my hand.

"I'm what?" I yell shocked that she could even think such a think.

"Wow, great reaction how long did you practice that one?" she says, heavily doused in sarcasm, the female cop approaches us. she waves a hand at me like I am a toddler and behave in public.

"Ok, it looks good, he's free to go. He's just over there if you want to talk to him," she says to Clare, then she points over to the cop car where another cop is helping him out, he unlocks his handcuffs. Clare gets up and runs over to him, wrapping him in her arms. He hugs her back tightly, jealousy spikes up and nearly causes me to lose all control. Clare looks at me, waving.

"Goodnight, Eli." she walks off with Fitz in the direction of Alli's house. They are talking like they are best friends, I can tell Clare is crying because she wipes her face several times. Fitz takes her to the door and she hugs him once more. She goes inside Alli's house. Fitz turns around, seeing me still sitting here. I debate between three options; stay here and wait for him to go in then go to Alli's, confront him when he gets back here, or leave. I choose option two. He gets close enough to me to speak with. He stands looking down at me, not getting too close.

"You are ridiculous, are you happy with yourself?" he scoffs at me like I am the common criminal, not him.

"Why can't you let me be happy with her, this isn't the first time you have tried to break us up," I ask standing up to be less vulnerable, by now all the cops have cleared the street.

"I'm trying to break you guys up, you cheated on her," he says walking to go inside. Shaking his head slightly.

"Excuse me, but where did you come up with that one? So I see you are where this lie started." I say stepping closer, since he started to walk away but stopped.

"I didn't start anything, I found her crying in the park, she is a smart girl and you were lucky to have her, but you blew it." he says leaving me speechless.

"I didn't cheat on her, and I will never cheat on her." I state what seems like the obvious, to me at least.

"Eli, cut the crap, she heard you talking to your little lover girl, at The Dot," I think back to when I was sitting in The Dot.

"I didn't talk to anyone aside from, Peter, you, and Spinner. In that order." I say honestly, then it hits me. Janie. I was on the phone with her.

"She heard your phone call just own up to it, god you really are an idiot." he turns and starts for his door again.

"Janie," I say shocked in a questioning voice.

"Thought you weren't cheating," he asks in an attitude filled voice, almost as if he is mocking me.

"I'm not, she is my ex girlfriends twin sister, my dead ex girlfriend." I say thinking about the call.

"So you call all your ex's siblings 'honey' and tell them you love them. What about Clare not having a clue. How about 'Does he know you're talking to me now?' Huh?" he asks getting more and more angry, I can sense it.

"Fitz, she was crying because her boyfriend doesn't like her talking to me, or any other guy. He threatened to hurt her if she ever touched another guy, in any manor. I was trying to calm her down. I would call any crying girl 'Honey' if it made them feel more comforted. I do, in fact, love her like a sister. I've known her since I was ten. Janie wants to meet Clare, I was planning to surprise her with it. That is what she didn't have a clue about. Fitz, I love Clare more than oxygen, I wouldn't cheat on her, ever." I explain myself to my nemesis.

"Don't call her," he says. "I'm serious, she'll get more upset. Her dad left, that's why they sent her to camp, so they could move him out without her being there. She is hurting. Find another way to tell her." he says, I can't tell if he is playing nice or being sincere about this. I run from him and get into Morty. I drive home thinking about what he said. I go straight to my room and begin an email.

"Clare, I love you more than anything. Please, read through this before just deleting it. I have something's that I have to explain to you. The phone call you overheard wasn't about me cheating on you, I promise.

I called her 'Honey' and I meant it in a caring way. In the way I would say it to a crying child who had fallen. She had a fight with her boyfriend. When you heard me ask 'Does he know you're talking to me now' I was talking about her jealous boyfriend, who threatens to hurt her, all the time. When I told her that I didn't think that you knew, Clare, she asked because we were planning on surprising you, by introducing you to her. Janie is Julia's twin sister, Clare. I told her I loved her, because I do. I have known her for years and she's been here for me, always. She is like my own sister, and that is the only way I love her.

Clare, please contact me at anytime, I talked to Fitz, he told me this is what you overheard. He also told me not to call you tonight and to find another way to tell you. When Fitz came to me at The Dot, I was so confused to why he seemed so disgusted with me, I understand now.

I am more sorry than I can put into words, about everything. This incident and especially about your parents. I promised to be where whenever you need me, and I wasn't today and I am so sorry.

I love you so much, Eli."

I exhale hoping she believes me, I send the email and turn my computer off. I pull the ring she gave back to me from my pocket and string it onto the thick chain necklace. I climb into bed, putting my phone under my pillow after setting the volume on high. I don't change from my day clothes and I lay in my bed. When I eventually fall asleep I am woken up what seems like immediately by a loud repetitive beeping sound.

**Tell me you don't hate me? Poll needs responses, shout out to the correct guesser!**


	20. Chapter 19: A Chance To Explain

**Wow, ok so here is part five of this day, I thought three was going to be enough, ha!**

**So I'm updating sooner than origionally planned, as a request by DegrassiForLife.**

**One more chapter left of this story!**

I walk with Mark to Alli's front door, we hug and I can feel Eli's eyes trying to burn through Mark. I look to the side of Marks arm and see him staring, his face confused and upset. I shrug it off because I am just confused and upset myself, about what to do. I knock on Alli's door and Mark and I exchange goodnights, Alli opens the door to another quick hug and looks at me, confused. I watch Eli for a second as Mark heads that way, but go inside before anything can happen.

"So," Alli drags out, "What was that?" she says sounds almost angry about it.

"It's nothing," I say honestly. "Mark found me upset at the park and we talked for like four hours, after I heard Eli. He walked me home and I showered and started to make dinner, then I realized things of my dad's were missing. Once I looking a his drawers and they were empty, I lost it. I freaked out on my mom, told her I hated her, and left." I say as if it is the simplest thing.

"Ok, and just now with Fitz?" she pushed me to continue talking about my night, before I continue we go into her room and sit on her bed.

"Well before he walked me to my house he put his number in my phone. He wouldn't take mine so I didn't feel pressured to talk to him again. When I left I texted him to see if we could talk somewhere, since he already knew about Eli. I didn't feel like explaining that before I could go any farther. Mark just showed me his good side today, and made me feel a little bit better about some things." I finish.

"Ok, wow. That was a lot to take in. So what happened with Eli, how do you know he is cheating on you?" she asks me and I brush over the story. "Oh, it does look bad." I had turned my phone back on while I was sitting on the curb with Eli while I was confronting him, and waiting for word on Mark.

"Speak of the Devil and he shall come," I see my phone light up with "One New Text Message" I open it up.

"Who's it from?" Alli asks before I even have it read all the way through.

"Mark," I say reading it, "It says, 'Clare, I talked to lover boy a little and he says it's a misunderstanding. I told him not to call you again tonight, but who knows if he will listen, I would expect him to text you of something, hear him out.'" I read to her.

"What are you going to say back?" she questions me.

"I don't know." I start typing and read it to Alli who sits impatiently bouncing on her bed. "I just said something like, 'What did he say to you? Thanks again for the shoulder today.'" she stops bouncing, nodding her head.

"Did you see all the cops and stuff down the street like six houses away just earlier?" she questions me I stifle a laugh.

"Yeah, it was an almost search party for Mark and I, Eli called the cops. Mark answered my phone when we were at The Dot and Eli thought he was trying to get back at him or something. He told the cops I was being held against my will of something." I say.

"Wow you've had an exciting night, haven't you? So they didn't arrest Fitz? I bet Eli is pissed." she says like its all one word, Mark texts me back.

" Mark again 'His argument sounded ok, I guess its up to you to believe it or not, check your email maybe?'" He suggests. I look at Alli who points to her computer. I go to it and log into my email. There is an email from Eli, the timestamp just a few minutes ago. I read through it, Alli reading over my shoulder.

"Clare, I love you more than anything. Please, read through this before just deleting it. I have something's that I have to explain to you. The phone call you overheard wasn't about me cheating on you, I promise.

I called her 'Honey' and I meant it in a caring way. In the way I would say it to a crying child who had fallen. She had a fight with her boyfriend. When you heard me ask 'Does he know you're talking to me now' I was talking about her jealous boyfriend, who threatens to hurt her, all the time. When I told her that I didn't think that you knew, Clare, she asked because we were planning on surprising you, by introducing you to her. Janie is Julia's twin sister, Clare. I told her I loved her, because I do. I have known her for years and she's been here for me, always. She is like my own sister, and that is the only way I love her.

Clare, please contact me at anytime, I talked to Fitz, he told me this is what you overheard. He also told me not to call you tonight and to find another way to tell you. When Fitz came to me at The Dot, I was so confused to why he seemed so disgusted with me, I understand now.

I am more sorry than I can put into words, about everything. This incident and especially about your parents. I promised to be where whenever you need me, and I wasn't today and I am so sorry.

I love you so much, Eli."

I feel hot moist tears strolling down my face and Alli hands me a tissue. I wipe my eyes and start to type back.

"Eli, I read through your email and it sounds convincing, but so did the phone call. I am still really upset with you for calling the cops. If I was cheating on you I wouldn't expect any less of you than to find a friend to talk to, and not answer my calls. He answered so you wouldn't worry even more. Mark isn't the bad guy you force him to be, and I'm not sure what else I even have to say to you. Clare."

I send my true feeling out in one short paragraph. I don't close out my email, but wait for a new one. I text Mark back.

_I checked my email, he did email me, but it doesn't let him off the hook. He still called the cops stressing me out even more. I'm sorry._

I send and go to Alli's bathroom to change into a pair of sweat pants and a plain shirt. I get back to my phone and see a new text.

_Clare he ran to his creepy hearse so he could get home and contact you, I think you should forgive him. Don't apologize you haven't done anything wrong. If you ask me, this was a big misunderstanding, but in a way I am glad it happened. I also told him about your parents, hope you don't mind._

_I am too, I guess. I'm glad it cleared some air between us and as I can see by the way you are talking about him, some air between your feud too. I will try to forgive him. I don't mind that you told him, actually it makes it easier on me._

"What are you two talking about, now?" Alli asks, I almost forgot she was here.

"He told me to believe Eli, and that he ran to his car just to get home to contact me." I bite my lip, feel guilty for jumping to conclusions, but in my defense it sounded bad. The computer make a ringing sound and I see a new message.

**Eli-gold49: Clare, you have to believe me. I would never lie to you.**

**Clare-e23: I believe your story, but you called the cops. Tonight was rough enough.**

**Eli-gold49: I am so sorry, but I was worried. I love you too much not to have done a thing.**

**Clare-e23: Why didn't you tell me about her?**

**Eli-gold49: I thought you would like the surprise, I guess its too late for that now.**

**Clare-e23: a little.**

**Eli-gold49: I love you, Clare.**

He tells me he loves me and my heart cries a little, I can't say it back, I am too upset about him for calling the cops, and looking back on it all, if he had just let it go this never would have happened.

**Clare-e23: why can't you just let this feud with Mark blow over.**

**Eli-gold49: look I've been bullied since I was a kid, they were always faster and stronger.**

**Clare-e23: you aren't a kid anymore.**

**Eli-gold49: neither are the bullies. I can't sit there and be bullied. Or see Adam.**

**Clare-e23: find a new way of dealing, not retaliating.**

**Eli-gold49: its not always that easy for me.**

**Clare-e23: make it that easy.**

**Eli-gold49: for you, I'll try anything.**

**Clare-e23: ok.**

**Eli-gold49: where are you?**

**Clare-e23: Alli's.**

**Eli-gold49: can I cone get you? We can talk in person, you can stay here.**

**Clare-e23: I guess.**

**Eli-gold49: ten minutes be ready.**

**Clare-e23: ok**

**Eli-gold49 is off line.**

I get off the computer and give Alli an apologetic look. She hugs me tightly, smiling.

"Go make it better," she says patting me on the back.

"Thanks," I say seeing that Mark texted me.

_Alright that anytime you need to talk is still open, forever._

_Thanks, again. Eli is picking me up we're going to talk in person, you were right he did email me._

I text him back and go sit outside at Alli's front door. Sure enough he pulls up and unlocks the door, I get in the car biting my lip. He looks upset, I am unsure of who he is upset with.

"You know it hurts that you think that I would cheat on you, that I could cheat on you," he confesses to me. I feel even more guilty.

"In my defense, it sounded bad." I mumble quietly. "Sorry," I add in a somewhat stronger voice. He looks at me and the pain in his eyes is almost enough to break me.

"Don't apologize I should have told you about her, Clare can we just forget this?" he asks he voice weak.

"You are willing to let this drop?" I ask shocked.

"Of course, if you are." we pull into his driveway. We get out, he takes my bag in for me.

"I am," I whisper. We walk into his house and his father eyes me suspiciously, making me nervous. I swallow hard and Eli leads me to his room. We get in there and his dad knocks at the door.

"Elijah," he calls Eli over to him, he clears his throat and shoots me a glance. He says what sounds like "What's going on."

"She got into a fight with her parents, and me," he adds lightly. "We are here only to sleep," he says his nods lightly, in an uncaring way.

"Get her pregnant and you're out." he walks away and Eli turns to me, smirking. I can't bring myself to smile back at him. He comes and sits next to on his bed, he wraps his arms around me, making me feel something other than hatred towards my life. I start to cry again.

"Shh," he coos, stroking my hair. It makes me feel calm, but unwilling to go home. I pull away and grab my phone.

_Staying with a friend until school starts, I'll get more stuff tomorrow._

I send to my mother, Eli reading over my shoulder. He kisses my temple lightly and pulls me close to him again.

**Ok, so hating me less and less? I hope so.**

**What did you think of that nice chunk of drama? **

**Answer my Poll, shout out to anyone who can PM me the correct guess of what it's for!**

**Another thing, where do you all live? Timezone wise?**


	21. Chapter 20: A Few Small Surprises

**Welcome to chapter twenty, the final chapter of Hearse Boy and Church Girl. I am planning to do a sequel, called The Gothic and The Gifted. I will post another "Chapter" here with the summary of said story. **

To wake that morning, Clare in my arms, was bliss. I wiggle my arm free from under her and kiss the left side of her exposed neck as she sleeps. I get out of my bed and jump in the shower, hopefully not waking her up. When I am finish my shower I pull boxers, jeans, socks, and a plain black t-shirt. I shake my head, like a dog, trying to get some of the water out of it. I take a towel roughly to my hair and look at myself in the mirror on my closet door. The water makes my hair stick together in thin clumps and I pull a comb through it. Dissatisfied I rub at it with the towel again, and it clumps less this time. I comb it again and shake it lightly making it look more natural. I find a dark gray vest in my closet and slide into it, checking how I look in the mirror.

"You look fine, beauty queen," Clare mumbles, sounding half asleep. I laugh at her expense and get hit with a flying pillow.

"Wow, thanks a lot for messing up my perfect hair." I joke, she smiles lightly. I go over and sit by her as she sits up. Her eyes show she is still not fully awake, and her hair was a little messy. I hand her my comb, "One of us has to have perfect hair," I laugh.

"Shut up," she whines and I laugh a little harder. I kiss her cheek, unsure of how far I could get without pushing it. She runs the comb through her curls and they spring into place.

"Perfect," I say kissing her forehead. I missed her like crazy while she was gone. We have yet to speak about her parents, but I don't want to push that one either. She stretches and grabs her phone.

"My mom wants me to stop home," she groans, sleepily. "She wants to give me money for school supplies." she finishes her thought.

"Well we can do that, then go shopping?" I suggest forming it into a question.

"Alright," she says not sounding happy with that decision. "I don't want to see her," she says making herself more clear.

"I could go in and get the money for you," I suggest. "I can tell her you stayed at Alli's and I picked you up to bring you here." I add to the end bringing her to nod, faintly.

"Ok, I can do that. Could you distract her so I can get in and grab my suitcase from camp?" she asks me.

"Yeah, of course. You can wash anything you need to at my house. You can stay there too, as long as you need to." I add I feel like we are plotting to break in and rob someone's house, and for some reason that excites me.

"Are you sure your dad doesn't mind me?" she asks me, he doesn't. he just doesn't want angry parents coming to him complaining that his son got their daughter pregnant.

"As long as you aren't pregnant, its fine." I say, she face gets red. "Clare calm down, that won't happen."

"I know, but-" she trails off, "let's just go." she says pulling clothes from her bag and going to my bathroom to change. When we are pulling into her driveway she starts to panic.

"Clare, why don't we go in together?" I suggest grabbing her lift hand in my right, rubbing it with my thumb.

"That would probably be best," she bites he bottom lip. Using my left thumb I tug it loose from her teeth and kiss is softly.

"Let's go in," I say getting out. She walks slowly behind me gripping my right hand the whole time. I rap lightly at the door with my left hand while Clare practically hides behind me to the right.

"Come in," her mom sighs opening the door for us. I take a look at Clare and her eyes are wet. I mouth "It's ok" to her and follow her mom to the kitchen.

"Clare is going to go grab something's for Alli's house," I say pulling her from behind me and looking towards the stairs, which she goes up quickly,

"Eli, I didn't do it this way to hurt her." her mom confesses to me. "I just didn't know how to break it to her, and he didn't want to be the one to break her heart." she finishes.

"Well it still did, sending her away made her feel neglected like no one cared how she felt." I say being brutally honest with her, using my personal opinions, since Clare didn't open up to me about this yet. "Let her be for a while, she will come home when she is ready, she is staying in my guest room or at Alli's house." I tell her the truth, well sort of. I leave out the part when my houses guest room in actually my dad's office and that Clare is sleeping in my room.

"Eli, I trust that you two aren't-" she cuts herself off trying not to make it awkward, but she fails miserably. She might have possibly made it even more awkward.

"Mrs. Edwards, I respect your daughter and I know her promise, I will not do anything to hurt her." she nods exhaling.

"Here, this is for her school stuff and whatever else she might need. I bet she hates me." she says confiding in me again. I hear a door shut.

"I don't think hate is the right word," I say before running up the stairs to help Clare with the suitcase, so she could carry the rest of her things. I help her carry it out the door and into the car, and I go back to the house for the envelope I left on the table.

"Thank you," I say when she hands it to me. She nods with a tear in her eye, I look away. "Bye," I murmur before taking off. I hand the envelope to Clare. She doesn't open it and slides it into a small bag she has up front.

"You aren't going to look?" I look at her suspiciously. She shakes her head.

"No, there is a note in there and I don't want to read it yet." she says I accept her answer and drive back to my house. As I pull things out of the back of Morty I decide I am going to tell Clare that her mom had ask me if we had been intimate

"When you getting things, you're mom and I talked. I told her you were staying at my house," I pause reading her face. 'In m guest room, of course." I finish.

"Oh, and she didn't freak out?" she asks me I shake my head "no".

"There is something else, she asked me something,: I start not sure how exactly to say this to her. We already had an awkward moment earlier.

"She asked if you believed in God, didn't she?" I laugh lightly, nervously.

"She asked if we've had sex." I say quickly thinking it best if I want to avoid awkward. She almost looks relieved.

"You said no, and then what?" she says calmer.

"I told her I respected you too much." I say as we bring everything to my room. "We can get you settled in here later." I say as we head back to Morty to do a little shopping.

"Eli," she says my name like a question. "I have a question, its something we haven't really talked about before." she says making me nervous.

"Ask me anything," I say putting a calm façade up.

"Are you a virgin?" he asks her cheeks light pink.

"No,"

**So, sequel will be up soon ish. But first tell me what you thought of this part, and what would you like to see in the sequel?**

**There is a new picture on my profile labled "Munro" **

**Look at his eyes, I am so jealous. I wish my eyes were green like that.**


	22. Chapter 1: A Tale Of Two

**Welcome to the sequel of Hearse Boy and Church Girl. **

**Here is Chapter One.**

_Recap from the last story: _

"_Eli," she says my name like a question. "I have a question, its something we haven't really talked about before." she says making me nervous._

"_Ask me anything," I say putting a calm façade up._

"_Are you a virgin?" she asks her cheeks light pink. _

"_No,"_

"Oh," I hear slip from her lips. She seems upset with my answer but I couldn't lie to her, especially after last night.

"Clare," I say concerned with the way she is looking at me. "It's been over a year," I say, not like it helps much.

"Ok," she says softly, still looking upset. We get to Target and we go inside, she has the envelope in her hand. I reach for her other hand but she pulls away. I sigh to myself and we go into the store.

"I'll meet you back here in twenty minutes or so, I want to look for something." she wanders off in another direction, I go to the school supplies section and start gathering some things I know I will need, when my phone rings.

"Hey Janie," I say, knowing very well I sound less than happy.

"What's wrong, Eli?" she asks her voice deep with concern. I sigh.

"Clare thought I was cheating on her with you," I start, "I cleared it up with her, with the help of Fitz actually."

"That bully?" she asks, confused.

"Yeah, then we were in the car today and she asked me if I was a virgin," I have yet to tell Janie about Julia and I.

"Well, aren't you?" she asks.

"No," I say in the same tone as I did to Clare on the drive here. She remains quiet for a little bit. "Janie, there is something you don't know," I confess.

"Wha-" she trails off. "You and Julia, and neither of you told me?" she asks sounding a little offended.

"Janie, you have to understand that we agreed that it never happened, because we didn't plan on it." I pause and she doesn't speak so I go on. "Well, that worked, until she told me she was pregnant." I whisper into the phone.

"What?" she yells back into my ear.

"That is what we were fighting about, not how her friends treated me like I was not a person." I feel better after confessing this to her.

"Oh, Eli. You could have told me, I wouldn't have been mad about it," She says lighter now. "what was the argument, though?" she pressed for more information.

"The baby, she wanted to keep it. I on the other hand was fifteen and didn't want anything to do with taking care of anything but myself. It was selfish." I confess feeling like a weight is gone.

"Eli, you still blame yourself for this, don't you?" she asks me. I nod, but realize she can't see me through the phone. "It's not your fault."

"I do, it was." I say, "Clare is coming, I'm going to go talk to her, I think she is mad at me."

"Bye Eli, call me tonight if you need to talk." she hangs up. Clare seems to have cooled down slightly. I smile as she comes up to me,

"Found you," she says, "Who was that?"

"Janie, she called to see what I was doing. Friday, want to meet her?" I ask hoping she says yes, she stops walking for a second and looks deep in thought.

"After school?" she asks and I nod. "Ok, I'm in." she smiles warmly at me.

"Clare there is something we have to talk about later on tonight. Serious things," I inform her. Her nervous face wipes across her face.

"I know," she says biting her lip. "Let's just get this done," she starts gathering folders, binders, notebooks and a few other things and we cash out and get in Morty, its one o'clock and we stop at The Dot for lunch.

"Why can't we talk," I start saying, "Every time I try you just shrug me off." She looks at me, but she seems to be looking right through me.

"We can talk later about this, Eli, please." she begs me.

"Can we talk about you staying with me?" I ask and she looks me in the eye.

"What about it?" she asks, Peter brings us each a plain hamburger with a bottle of catsup with fries on the side. "Thank you," she says and I nod to him.

"I can clear a little drawer space for you, I think I have two empty drawers you can have. Even if you are only staying a couple days." I try to smile at her.

"Ok, sounds good." she smiles weakly, the short conversation we had in the car is really bothering her, I can tell.

"Clare I don't want this to be awkward between us now." I reach over the round table and take a her hand up in mine.

"Neither do I, but why didn't you ever tell me?" she tips her head to the left. She grips my hand and I give her a thoughtful smirk.

"I'm sorry Clare, I just didn't think 'Hey I had sex with my ex girlfriend.' ever fit well into one of our conversations. It didn't seem important at this stage of our relationship." I say trying to be gentle.

"How long did you date Julia?" she asks me.

"Seven months," I answer her, I squeeze her hand holding in a rush of depression I start to feel from inside me.

"How long until you-" she trails off letting me assume what she meant.

"Six months," I close my eyes and I can see her in my head. My eyes flutter open.

"Oh, so can we talk about her for a little?" she asks me.

"When we're home," I say and finish eating. Clare finishes and gets up, I follow her to the counter where I give Peter money. We leave and get into the hearse, I drive home remaining silent. I don't want to talk about Julia because I hate how it makes me feel. When we are in my room again I lay down on my bed, looking at the ceiling.

"Can we talk now?" she sits down next to my head with her legs straight out along my bed. I slide over a little but, and put my head in her lap. She puts her left hand on my face, brushing her index finger along my lips.

"Yeah, what do you want to know?" I say looking up at her. She smiles.

"What were you fighting about, that day?" I inhale deeply then exhale.

"Do you want the truth, or the story that everyone knows?" I blink a few times, holding my eyes shut before she answers.

"The truth," she says tracing circles with her left index finger, on my left collar bone.

"Well, last year in June we had sex, for the first time. It wasn't planned, or safe, so we decided that we were going to just forget we did it. We wanted to have that something special between us. It worked, pretending it didn't happen, for a month at least." I pause taking a deep breath, trying to keep the sadness from spilling over. "I got her pregnant." I say stopping. Clare stares at me, interested in my story.

"Since I was only fifteen at the time, I didn't want anything to do with a baby, she on the other hand wanted to keep it," I breathe carefully so my voice doesn't start to shake. "I was selfish," I decide that I am going to wait for her to say something.

"Eli," she says in a comforting voice. Her hand slides from my chest to my hand, she interlaces her fingers with mine.

"So, I killed two living things by being selfish," I choke out. I clear my throat but it feels like its closing in. My stomach flips making me feel sick and I turn onto my side not facing Clare. I can't look at her in the eye. I lay almost pin straight on my bed but my knees bend slightly. I stare at my door.

"Eli, you didn't kill any one," she starts, consolingly. "Julia died in an accident, you being upset with her didn't make it dark out, it didn't make the driver hit her, it didn't make it happen." I can hear her lay down behind me so I turn onto my back.

"It was just a baby, Clare. I wanted to kill it, and its dead. If she was still alive now, I would have a baby." I say for the first time really thinking about this aspect. My heart is racing in my chest, almost painfully.

"Everything happens for a reason, Eli. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be," she puts the idea in my head, it is just refusing to root in my brain.

"A baby," I whisper, not exactly to her but in general. It is hard for me to think of my life now, without Clare. Then again, I can't say I would rather Julia be gone because I have Clare now. This whole thing was too much for me. "Clare," I say.

"Eli, I understand it hurts, but it wasn't your fault." she says, but I just can't shake the thought. A baby, an accident. I don't answer her. I lay there thinking about what could have happened when I fall into a sleep.

"Kendall, baby look at momma," I hear the familiar voice of Julia say. She coos, leaning over a baby.

"Eli, come here," she looks at me, I step over to her kneeling on the ground to look closer at the baby. The baby has my dark brown hair and big green eyes. Kendall makes noises and grabs for anything in reach. I move a finger by the babies hand and she wraps her fingers around mine, she pulls my hand close to her mouth. I slide a pink pacifier into her mouth and she releases my finger. I smile as she lays sucking on the pacifier. Julia looks up at me from the small baby.

"She loves you, and I love you." she says. "I'm glad we chose to keep her, I'm really glad you didn't make me kill her." she puts a hand on my back.

"Eli, Eli, Eli," I feel myself being shaken. "Its just a dream, wake up, Eli." I am startled, but I look over to where Julia was sitting, and see Clare.

"Sorry," I whisper to a worried Clare. She is sitting up again stroking my hair gently, I close my eyes. "She is my Achilles heel."

**So, what do you think?**

**Poll! Poll! Poll! **

**I have talked to a few of my readers and I really enjoy hearing what you think. I also love talking to you, I like having a familiar sense with you guys.**

**You are all the reason I have been writing so much lately, after months of nothing. **

**Feel free to PM me whenever, whether you have something you want to see, or just to say Hi. I will answer as soon as possible.**

**One more thing, there chapters I am going to make a little longer. Probably around 2,000 words each.**


	23. Chapter 2: The First Day

**I have been liking this story…but I'm starting to lose my inspiration. I want to finish this, I know I will.**

To wake up in Eli's arms for the past three mornings, though the last two were much more glorious than this morning. My alarm on my phone wakes me up at six twenty and I wriggle free from his grasp. I walk around his double bed and sit behind him. He faces away from my so I rub his back.

"Eli," I start to shake him lightly. "Come on, wake up" I whisper loudly in his ear. He moves a little. "We have school, Eli." I say in a speaking voice.

"I don't want to," he says rolling onto his back and opening his round green eyes to look at me. His hair is shuffled about his head in an mess.

"You can't skip the first day, get up." I try to be stern with him but break out into a smile. He smirks up at me.

"You sure, you could skip too," he attempts again, sitting up slowly.

"Yes, I am sure Eli," I say and he pins me on my back on his bed before I can realize what he had done. He places his lips on mine kissing me passionately.

"Last chance," he whispers into my ear. I push him off of me and get up going to my drawer. Smiling to myself.

"Get up and get dressed," I repeat. He groans loudly and playfully before pulling his t-shirt off leaving it in a heap on the floor. I bite my lip.

"Do I have time to at least shower?" he ask toying with the string on his pants. I look at the clock.

"Quickly," I abandon my firm attitude laughing lightly. I find clothes to wear and hear the water start. I pull on a simple pair of loose fitting jeans and a floral button down t-shirt with a white tank top underneath. I brush out my hair and my curls fall into place. I brush on light natural looking makeup and sit on his bed waiting for him. He comes out a few minutes later, he is in a simple Eli-esque outfit of tight jeans of the black variety, a black band t-shirt, and a plain black unbuttoned vest. He goes to the mirror in his closet and combs his hair obsessively. Getting off his bed I laugh and he turns his attention to me.

"You think its funny?" he asks me approaching me slowly with a smirk on his face. I hide my smile and take a step back.

"Kind of," I say playfully. He gets closer to me and I am almost to the wall, between his computer desk and another wall.

"Yeah?" he says pushing me against the wall, his hands on the wall, one on each side of my head. "Still funny," he says, not giving me a chance to answer by kissing me. I deepen the kiss tangling the finger of my right hand in his wet hair. He places a hand on my right hip. I pull away desperate for air and lets out a soft laugh.

"How funny is it now?" he whispers, breathing heavily.

"Let's go to the school," I say smiling at him. When we get to school, we file into the gym where Eli and I are separated. He goes to the senior part of the gym and I find the grade eleven. There are several tables lined up separated by last name. I see Alli in the A-J line and she goes to the back to stand and wait with me. I look over and see Jenna stand almost next to us in the K-R line. She waves at Alli and gives me a nervous glance. I smile and wave to her, causing her to look confused. When we get to the front of the line I see that Mrs. Dawes is handing the schedules out to our line.

"Mrs. Edwards, I'm sure you will be happy to know that you and Mr. Goldsworthy are both in my sixth period English class, again." she says handing me my schedule. I smile and nod. Alli gets hers and we start to walk to the side of the gym to compare.

"Media, English, lunch, and Spanish," Alli squeals excitedly. I smile as I look over our schedules.

"Eli is in our English too," I add happily.

"Oh, am I?" he says coming up behind me, scaring me. I exhale deeply, jabbing a friendly elbow into his stomach. "Hey," he snaps, kissing my temple. He takes my paper from me.

"Looks like we have; Chemistry, lunch, and then English together." he smirks at me handing the paper back. Adam comes from the crowd and hands me his schedule.

"World History, lunch, and English again," I hand it back to him, he seems happy with what I have said. The bell rings and the gym starts to clear out, there is never first period on the first day. So we all start on our way to second period. We all leave Adam alone in the gym and head to the door. At the door Alli turns right and we go left.

"To chemistry," Eli says draping an arm over my shoulder, I put my left arm around his waist and with my right I play with his fingers on my shoulder. We get in the class and I read the board.

"Pick a partner and a lab bench." I read out loud. "Hmmm, oh there's Drew and he's already picked a lab bench for him and I." I say trying to be serious.

"Oh, look Bianca!" he says excitedly in my ear. "Maybe I should work with her." he mirrors my serious tone.

"No," I say too fast, making him laugh uncontrollably. I return my elbow to his center.

"Do it again, I dare you." he tempts me, I sit down at an open lab bench and look at the empty seat next to me. He rolls his eyes and sits next to me. We are lectured for the forty minutes we are there. The bell rings after what seems like forever. Eli kisses my cheek when we leave and heads to his next class. I go to my world history room and the teacher tells me where to sit. I sit down and wave to Adam who is two rows away from me.

"I hate assigned seats," he says after walking to my desk.

"Oh, me too." I say flashing my eyes to who is sitting in front of me.

"Bianca?" he mouths. When the teacher comes in and tells him to go sit down. He starts off on my second lecture of the day. The first day is always the worst in that way. The bell rings and I walk with Adam.

"She was in my last class too," I say, I see Alli standing in the doorway of the computer lab, I wave to her. She smiles and walks to a computer with an empty seat next to it.

"Wow, that sucks," Adam says, we reach the door and he keeps walking. I enter the room and see that there are no chairs.

"This is weird," I sat sitting on an exercise ball next to Alli. "Really weird." I continue. I wave to Conner and he smiles. She points to the board which says something about the mind working better when you aren't sitting still in a chair, you can think better. In this class we only have a short lecture and half the class to play on the computers. I start to feel hungry and can't wait for the bell to ring for lunch.

In the cafeteria Eli, Adam, Alli and I all get food and find an empty table. I see Jenna looking out of place as she looks between an empty table, a table KC is sitting at, and the power squad table. I get up and go over to her, I look back to the table and see three confused faces staring at me. Eli looks like he is going to get up and stop me, probably thinking I want to start something with her.

"Jenna," I call while still a few feet away, she looks over. When I am close enough to her I start to talk at a normal volume level, "Jenna, you can come sit with us."

"Really?" she asks looking at me like I might be joking.

"Yeah, really. There is plenty of room for another person." I say, I look at her stomach which has extended making her look seven months pregnant, as she is. I lead her to the table, where she sits down and eats, she seems uncomfortable being with us, Alli tries to start up a conversation with her, but she is short with her. After lunch, Adam, Eli, Alli, and I all go to English. Eli takes his seat from the previous year, as do Adam and I. Alli looks at us and takes the seat in front of Adam.

"I see my return students have taken their usual seats," Mrs. Dawes says walking down the aisle between Adam and I, from the doorway. She has us all stand up and say our names and something about ourselves. The class is fun and not a solid lecture.

I walk alone to my free period in the library and sit at a round table. Jenna comes in and sees me, I wave her over. My goal: to try and burry our hatchet, proving to Eli that it can be done.

"Clare, why are you being so nice to me?" she pulls the chair next to me out sitting down slowly. I smile warmly.

"I think we should just get over this, in a way I'm glad you stole K.C. from me. If you hadn't who knows if I would have met Eli. I think ours little issue is pointless. So I am willing to be friends." I say and she smiles a bright and warm smile.

"I think that sounds," she pauses. "Great." she finishes, I hug her lightly. I was happy we were done being against each other. "I'm sorry, about, everything."

"Don't sweat it," I say smiling. We catch up on what has happened in the past eight months. Before I know it the bell rings.

"What do you have next?" she asks me when we're out the door.

"Gym," I answer. She smiles again.

"Me too," she seems excited. I feel happy with the decision of making her a friend again. After gym I go to my senior level Spanish class and Alli beat me there, she eyes the seat next to her. I sit down smiling.

"Why are you so happy?" she asks me as the teacher hands out papers for our parents to sign.

"I talked to Jenna today, we're going to be friends again. I am a little weary about Eli being around her in lunch and stuff, but he wouldn't do that to me." I say still smiling. The teacher starts talking, all in Spanish. I groan and trying to remember everything. I stay confused throughout the whole period, making it drag on forever, but it eventually ends. I say bye to Alli and go to pick a new locker. Best part of the first day, short ninth period to pick lockers. I find one near my last locker, Eli and Adam have beat me there. I take the locker to the left of Eli, Adam on his right. I stand in front of the empty two on my left, one for Alli and one for Jenna. They come soon enough and claim their lockers.

"Let's get out of here," Eli says to everyone.

"Where to?" Alli says, eyeing him questioningly. He pulls me into his side and smirks mysteriously.

"Everyone find out if they can hang out until like nine or ten." he says.

"Eli, could I go out until nine or ten?" I ask, he laughs.

"It's a school night Clare, I don't know." He says and Jenna looks at us strangely. "She's living with me for a little bit," he says, and Jenna's face twists into a more confused look. "Her mom and dad split and didn't tell her, she'll be moving out soon, sadly." she nods still a little confused looking.

"I can," Alli says. "Sav is telling my mom that you, me and Jenna are shopping for clothes." she says to me.

"Kyle said I can." Jenna says referring to her older brother. Adam looks at Eli.

"She wants to know details," he says.

"Uhmm- I don't want to ruin the surprise. Tell her Drew is coming. Then ask him to come." Eli says.

"Ok, she'll probably go for that." Adam says texting his mom. He waits for an answer. "Genius, she says ok." Just then Drew walks by. "Hey, Drew!" he calls him over. Drew walks up to us, and takes hold of Alli. "Want to come hang out with us, Eli won't tell us what we're doing but mom wants you to come, plus Alli will be joining." he says telling Drew the truth.

"Sure, why not." he nods, shrugging his shoulders. We all get out to the hearse. There was only room for three people in the front.

"Ok, so Drew, Alli, and Adam in the back. Clare and Jenna with me up front." Eli says looking at Jenna, knowing he couldn't have her unbuckled in the back of a hearse in her condition. Adam groans but gets in the back with his brother and Alli. I sit in the middle up front, and Jenna by the window. We start off to an unknown location.

**Does anyone know a way I can try and get some of that inspiration I had back?**


	24. Chapter 3: The Beautiful Medow Turns

**Ok so I am going up to my friends school today and I don't know when I will be back, so here is an early update for today, maybe tomorrow. **

We climb in my hearse, three up front three in the back. Clare sits next to me about four inches away. I pull into a convenience store about thirty minutes away from Degrassi and Clare and I go in after I let the other out of the back.

"We need food and drinks," I start walking to the snack food section, Clare follows quickly behind me. We grab a couple bags of chips, and continue to the next aisle.

"Get some lunch meat, I'm going to go get some pop," I walk to the drink fridge. I pull out two boxes of pop cans, one Pepsi and the other seven up, I decide not everyone drinks pop and get an eight pack of water bottles. I also grab napkins and paper plates, stacking them on the pop in my arms. I see a Styrofoam cooler and add that to the purchase along with some ice. I meet Clare at the counter and we cash out. The others are walking around on the sidewalk stretching their legs.

"Where is Jenna?" Clare asks nervously. I look around and see she isn't in the group of people.

"She went in to use the bathroom quickly." Alli answers Clare quickly. I hear Clare exhale deeply. I open the back up and throw the food and drinks in there with the help of Adam. We wait for Jenna to come out of the store before piling into the hearse. We drive ten more minutes to a large field where I let everyone out for real this time.

I hear a mix of; "Finally," "Oh my god," "Fresh air," and I laugh. I pull the food out with the help of the other two guys and set in on a flat rock in the middle of the field. No one asks where we are, they just look around at the natural beauty of the place. I smirk when Clare comes up to me and kisses me on the cheek.

"It's gorgeous here," she says kissing my cheek again. We all sit around the flat rock and enjoy sandwiches, pop, snacks, and the company. After we eat and play around in the clearing. It is eight o'clock and everyone has paired off. Alli and Drew look around the wood we are near by, and Adam and Jenna sit talking. Clare and I sitting off on our own talking.

"So when do you want to go home?" I ask her and she looks thoughtfully at me.

"Form here or your house?" she asks me, tilting her head.

"My house, I mean you are welcome to stay, I'm just thinking about your mom and all." I say making sure it doesn't sound like I want her to leave.

"Two more nights? That will give me the weekend and Friday after school to get settled in and used to being back there." she thinks out loud.

"Alright," I sigh. She leans in and kisses me passionately, I deepen our kiss when she pulls away, I look at her confused. She pulls a hand up from where is was planted on the ground and throws a heap of grass in my face. She gets up and starts to run away from me and I chase her, letting her keep ahead I stop to grab a handful of grass to get her back.

"So mature," I look back at Adam who thinks he's the funniest guy alive. I turn back just in time to see Clare trip over a tree root in the ground. She makes a noise when she hit's the ground. I run to her side.

"Are you ok?" I ask seeing her eyes well up, I assume not. I crouch down to her level. She turns over and slowly brings her wrist up, it looks broken, but what do I know. She looks at her limp wrist that is starting to swell up already. Her wet eyes look at me. I wrap my right arm around her waist and hold her left hand in mine as I pull her up from the ground. I walk her over to the hearse, she rests her right wrist on her left arm, trying not to move it.

"Get in," I say opening the door. "I'm going to go get everyone." I sat taking off quickly, Adam and Jenna saw what happened and are already heading towards me.

"Is she ok?" Adam asks me.

"I think her wrist is broken, can you make an ice pack with the ice in the cooler and a couple grocery bags?" I start to take my vest off. "Put this around the outside so it doesn't make her skin too cold." I hand it to him. "Also tell her to put this on her lap and rest her arm on top of it, that way she can't move it as much." I add. Adam nods and him and Jenna make their way to the hearse.

"Drew, Alli," I yell into the woods. "We have to go, now," I yell I hear rustling and they come out of the wooded area. I walk to Morty and they follow me. I get in and see that Adam did exactly as I told him. I reach over her and Jenna and pull out a bottle of pills from the glove bow. I dump two in my hand. I get out again and get water from the back.

"Open your mouth," I say to Clare who has tear marks along her face, she opens he mouth slowly. "Get some water in your mouth so you can take these," I put the bottle to her lips and tip it slightly, I take it away and move the two orange pills to her mouth, she opens it again and swallows the pills without argument. I take my phone out of my pocket and call her house phone. Her mom answers.

"Hello?" she says sweetly.

"Hey, Mrs. Edwards, it's Eli. We're about forty minutes away, we're on our way back now to drop the other people with us off, then we are going to the emergency room." I say pausing to take a breath, "Clare fell and hurt her wrist, if you could meet us there that would be great." I finish.

"I'll be there in an hour, that's probably how long you'll be right?" she says frantically. "I'll bring her information with me." she says I say thank you and hang up, looking to Clare.

"I had to call her, we need you insurance and everything." I say as I drive away. Jenna talks to Clare, keeping her calm so I can focus on the road and getting us home as quickly as possible. Clare sits without moving almost the entire drive to Adam's. I let the two brothers out of the back and leave to get Alli home. After Jenna and Alli have both been dropped off I head to the emergency room.

"How are you doing," I ask rubbing her shoulder lightly with my right hand.

"Ok, whatever you gave me made it hurt a little less." she says thankfully. I look at her and her tear stained face is pained, so much that I have to look away.

"We're almost there," I say when we are only two streets away. When we are there, I park and quickly go to her side and help her out of the car. We walk cautiously through the parking lot where there are several cars parked. The automatic doors slide open, granting us entrance. I see two red-ish pink chairs with wooden armrests and lead her there. She sits and I go the nurse at "U" shaped desk.

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"Yeah, my girlfriend tripped and I think she may have broken her wrist." I say trying to sound a little more intelligent than I am.

"Can you just fill these out? Well I am assuming the parent she lives with will be coming, and can help out." she says noticing how young we are.

"Her mom is coming." I say walking away with the clip board. I start filling in what I know and ask her what I don't until her mom arrives. I give her mom the clip board and she takes a seat on my left. Clare looks upset when she comes in. When her mom finishes filling out the paperwork and goes to the woman at the desk. Clare shifts positions, wincing. We sit there for two hours before someone come over to us.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Tenaha, can one of you please accompany myself and," he looks at the clip board. "Miss. Edwards into an examination room?" he asks Clare's mother looks at me, urging for me to go. I give her an appreciating smile. We make our way to a small room with a gurney like thing and a chair. I sit in the chair and Clare on the gurney. The doctor slowly take her arm in his hand, putting pressure in a couple different places asking Clare if it hurt.

"Alright, it feels like it could be broken, I'm going to have it x-rayed and then I'll know for sure." he says. "Sit here, I'll go get a room ready." he walks out.

"How you doing?" I ask getting up so I can sit next to her. I sit on the gurney to her left. She tries to smile at me. I slide closer and put my arm around her waist and kiss her temple. A few minutes later he comes back into the room.

"Ok let's go get that wrist of yours x-rayed. You can come along, you'll just have to stand outside I follow and keep an arm around her as she continues to hold he wrist up. I leave her at the door with another light kiss to her temple. The doctor smiles at us. He leads her in and I slide down the wall and wait. It takes them about forty minutes in there, bringing our total time here to a grand three and a half hours. He takes us back to the small room, leaving us alone again for at least a half an hour. We make small talk and I try to keep her mind moving. She starts to look tired when he comes back in.

He puts an x-ray up onto a panel of light. He uses the back of his pen to show us what he is explaining.

"This is the break," he says confirming that its broken, I see Clare bit hard into her lip. "Its nothing that a plaster cast for a few weeks can fix. The worst part will be when we have to set it for you." he says honestly. Clare looks down at her arm. "It will be quick," he tried to comfort her. Minutes later a nurse comes in with a strange contraption, Clare's eyes grow wide.

I take a tight hold of her free hand as the doctor lifts up her other. She tightens her grip slightly. He slides each of her fingers into small tube like things and tightens them around her thin fingers. The nurse holds her arm steady and the doctor begins to tug slowly at a cord of some sort. It makes each of her separate and pulls them towards him. She inhales sharply and then grips so tightly at my hand I can't even close my fingers around hers. This is when I decide we are never having kids, ever. Her eyes are dripping again and I wipe them dry with my left thumb. She exhales and starts to breathe heavily.

"You're ok, I love you." I whisper in her ear. She smiles until they start moving her arm again. They slide on a strange looking piece of cloth.

"What color, pink, red, black, green, purple, dark blue, light blue?" he asks her.

"Light blue," she says faintly. He continues to put her arm in the cast while I rub her left hand. She leans her head onto my shoulder. It takes him about twenty minutes to the cast.

"Alright, now I will be back in about thirty to forty minutes to make sure that is dry, then I will stray it with the final coat and you will be all set. Take these for the next few days every four hours to help with the pain." he says handing me prescription paper and a thin booklet with tips for caring for a plaster cast. He turns to the clip board giving me another few pages about taking care of her wrist. I look at the time on my phone and its getting close to two in the morning. I shift my body and put one leg up onto the gurney and let her lay back onto my chest, she is leaning to her left onto my. I wrap my right arm around her and toy with her belt loop. She falls asleep after just a few minutes. I let her sleep until after he has sprayed her cast with a protective spray. He tells me that her insurance was cleared and that her mother had left at one o'clock. I sit her up and rub her back lightly.

"Clare, wake up, we can go home." I say and she stirs lightly and her eyes flutter open. I kiss her cheek before I stand up, and pull her off the gurney. Sleepily she walks with me out to the car.

"How does the arm feel, want a couple more of these?" I ask, pulling the bottle out again. She nods. I hand her the bottle and she drinks a little of the water before taking the two pills I handed her. She leans he head against the window and falls asleep on the ride home. We don't get back to my house until quarter after three. I wake her again and we go inside. I see my dad is still awake when we come in. I take her to y room and let her sleep in her clothes.

"Hey," I say to my dad, standing outside his office knowing I'm not allowed in there.

"It's a school night, where were you?" he asks, quote uncaringly.

"Emergency room for the past few hours, Clare broke her wrist. We're not going to school tomorrow, she was told to keep in elevated for at least a day before returning to normal daily activity. She isn't supposed to be left alone for forty eight hours either." I explain.

"Ok, I'll give you two notes, get some sleep." he says returning to his computer. I go into my room and turn Clare onto her back and put her arm up on two pillows, I crawl into bed next to her and fall asleep quickly.

**Well there you have it. I really hope I will have time update tomorrow, but I have too finish packing al my stuff to move on Sunday.**

**Maybe leave some sweet reviews? I can read them on my phone, maybe I will make sure I have time to update tomorrow. Still a little stuck on inspiration.**


	25. Chapter 4: Janie, Janie, BoBanie

**Chapter 4 of The Gothic and The Gifted. **

**So close to 20,000 hits, can this chapter get me there?**

**Alicia Josipovic (Bianca) is by far one of the more amazing dancers I have ever seen. I am very jealous, her performance put my ten years of dancing to shame. If you didn't know, she was a dancer in Capm Rock 2. One of the best in the movie, along with Allison Stoner.**

**Another early update! **

**So probably no update tomorrow it was crazy putting this one up today. I will be moving into a place with over one hundred kids all trying to do the same. Then I have my family reunion until late. I hope you don't hate me for that. I really try my hardest to update everyday, but its hard.**

**I get some great reviews from this story and I have several repeat reviewers like:**

_**Zeldaskeeper, ToriTrueBlood, Inlovewitheli, Heyhellohix5, Foreverdegrassi, Kimloveseli, DegrassiForLife **_

**These people are pretty amazing and make me smile all the time.**

**I have talked to a few of them here and there some more than others, but they are all very nice**

**They have reviewed to at least four or five chapters a few of them nearly all of them.**

**I find myself asking for reviews sometimes and that doesn't seem right, but I really do appreciate the. **

**I try to tell every reviewer how much it means to me, but I just cannot express how much it does. **

Eli and I skip out of school on Thursday and his dad writes us each a note for Friday. When we get to school we go to the office to hand in our notes. The school doesn't know I am currently residing with Eli and his father, so Mr. Simpson gives me a curious look when I give him the note.

"Miss. Edwards, is the a forgery?" he asks me, my heart jumps a little. I shake my head vigorously.

"No, Eli's dad wrote it for me, I've been staying in their guest room for the time being, things are rough at my house." I say, "I was told to wait twenty four hours before returning to normal activity," I say brining my arm up.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, why were you also out?" he says, the note just says that Eli was unable to attend school because he was out until almost four in the morning and he was helping me out.

"She needed supervision for forty eight hours, because of the pain killers her doctor put her on, her mom works all day, as does my dad." Eli says showing him the small orange bottle of pills. Mr. Simpson takes the bottle and reads the label nodding his head.

"Alright, Eli go to your first period class. Clare I want to talk with you and then you'll have to go to the nurse and get a slip for gym." He says, Eli leaves me alone in the office. I take a seat across from Mr. Simpson.

"Clare, what's going on at home?" he says softly to me. I breathe lightly before starting to tell him the story for my summer.

"Well, my parents fought a lot at the end of the school year, then all summer, the day after the Vegas dance they sent me away to bible camp. I didn't know until the morning I left. I was at camp for a week and came home to see that my dad had moved out and no one told me. I kind of lost it on my mom, and left for the night, the same day I thought Eli had cheated on me. I was upset over that too, he wasn't he was talking to a close friend I never knew about his dead ex girlfriends twin, actually. But Fitz and I started talking a little that afternoon and he cleared some air between himself and Eli.

"The next day my mom asked me to come home after I told her I was going to stay with Eli and his dad for a few days. She gave me money for school stuff and Eli talked to her while I gathered some things for the week." I finish, looking to see what his face would be saying. He looked confused as he tried to take it all in.

"Ok," he trails off slightly. "How long are you staying with Eli?" he asks. I think about it for a couple seconds.

"Well we decided today after school I would move back with my mom, but then I broke my wrist and we haven't talked about it yet." I reply.

"Well, I think you should come see me every couple days, telling me what is going on with all of that. Normally I would send you to the social worker, but you seem to be doing ok, so I'll just ask for regular updates. Now when the bell rings for second period I want you to go down to nurse, you can either go to the last ten minutes of first period or stay in here." he tells me.

"I think I'll just stay in here," I say and look at the clock. The seconds tick by and I start to fidget in my seat. "Could I go to my locker and get my stuff out before the bell rings and just go to the nurse from there?" I ask. He stops to think for a second before nodding his head. I leave somewhat quickly and get to my locker. I set all my stuff down and use my left hand to open the lock. The bell rings before I have picked my things up and I bend down to grab them. Before I have any in my hand another sat of hands scoops them up for me. I look up and meet the blue eyes for Mark.

"Hey," he says, smiling. I smile back.

"Thanks, Mark," I say as he helps me put them in my locker.

"What happened to your arm?" he asks concerned. I sigh.

"I tripped on a tree root at some field Eli took our little group to after school the first day." I pause and he nods. "I broke it, we spent all night in the emergency room. We got home around four."

"Ouch, well I hope it feels better," he says smiling at me. He grabs a book I am reaching for in the top shelf. "Here," he hands it to me. "So how's home, and Eli?" he asks softly.

"I haven't been staying at home, I went there once to get more clothes and my mom gave Eli money to give to me, and I saw her Wednesday at the hospital. I'm staying with Eli and his dad." I explain to him, he nods.

"So I take it you two are ok?" he says, shoving a hand into his pocket.

"Yeah," I nod and he pulls out a sharpie.

"May I?" he asks pulling off the cap and pointing the tip towards my arm. I nod and he gently holds my arm in his left hand writing something with his right. He steps back and I see Eli out of the corner of my eye, approaching quickly, but not angrily.

"Clare, I hope this gets better quick. Remember what I said, anytime. Fitz." I read to myself, Mark sees Eli coming our way,

"Maybe I should walk away, now:" he says adding a pause in his sentence. I give Eli a nervous glance and nod to Mark.

"See you around?" I ask, bringing back the memory of when I first saw Eli.

"I hope so," he says and starts to walk away. Eli come up to me looking a tad bit angry now. I show him my cast and he nods.

"That all he wanted?" he asks suspiciously. I sigh to myself more than him because I thought they'd be over this.

"He helped me get my books off the ground and switch them out in my locker, then he signed." I say, frustrated.

"Oh, ok," Eli opens his locker and switches his books.

"I have to go to the nurse, see you in chemistry." I say kissing his cheek and turning to walk away. He follows.

"Wait, give me your books. I'll take them to class so you don't have to carry the extra weight." he says taking everything but my bag. I smile and kiss him lightly on the lips.

"Thank you," I say walking to the nurses office. I give them my note and they write me a slip saying that I can't participate in gym for three months. I leave, tucking the note into my pocket and go to chemistry. I walk in and Eli smiles at me. I show my pass to the teacher and she tells me to sit down. Chemistry goes by quickly mostly because we had to do a quiz about laboratory safety. In fact the whole entire rest of the day went quickly.

"Can we talk about me going home?" I ask Eli when we are at our lockers at the end of the day. He stops digging through his locker and shuts it, looking at my arm. Throughout the day people periodically filled the space of my cast with nice things about me getting better.

"Sure, what about it?" he says closing my locker and leading me out the door.

"Well we planned for today, but I think it would put a lot of stress on my wrist," I say, it's true but I just don't think I am ready to go home. "Plus you are supposed to introduce me to Janie today." I add on.

"Maybe we could wait one more week, just so it isn't sore. By then it should not swell up so much," he sees through my lie, but goes with it. He touches my fingers which were swollen a little along with my exposes hand.

"I mean, my mom is fine with me not being home, as long as she knows we aren't-" I start to trail off but suck it up. "having sex." I finish. He nods, understanding what I mean.

"So Friday?" he asks, smirking. I nod. "Ok so about Janie," he starts but stops talking while we get into Morty and buckle up. "What do you want to do?"

"We could all just hang out at your house," I suggest. I look around the parking lot as we drive out of it. Its just after two and we just finished our first week of school.

"My house is kind of a mess," he confesses as we drive towards it.

"Well I can handle tidying up if you go and pick her up," I say and he gives me a unsure glance. "I'll be gentle, I won't hurt it anymore. I promise and after I finish I'll ice it."

"Alright, but ice it and you have to take the painkillers as soon as we get home, you were supposed to have done so ten minutes ago." I nod in agreement. We get to his house and I look around. It isn't too messy. I take the blue pill as he told me to and go back out to where he is, in the kitchen.

"We don't have anything to eat," he says and I open a cupboard. It's full of food, I give Eli a dirty look.

"Eli there is plenty of food. It just has to be cooked. I'll make something, while cleaning. Ok?" I ask him. He thinks about it for a little.

"Clare I don't want you to make your arm worse. I know you don't either." he is right, but I can handle cooking something simple and tidying up a couple things.

"I won't make anything too complicated. Be back in about an hour." I kiss him and shove him towards the door. He groans loudly and kisses me. I kiss back but shove him out the open door with my left hand. I go back into the kitchen and look in the freezer. There are fries and honey mustard chicken bits inside. I read the directions and they each take about thirty minutes to make. I clean up around the house a little but focus a lot of attention on his room. When I finish cleaning it looks like I have lived there for a while, not just a week. I laugh a little and go to start the food. After it is all in the oven I sit down and ice my fingers and part of my palm. My phone rings,

"Hello?" I answer, confused because the call was restricted.

"Hey Clare-Bear." my mothers voice floods my brain. I feel agitated that she called restricted, but act friendly.

"Hi mom," I say.

"How is it going there?" she asks me trying to make small talk with me, but I'm just got in the mood for the fake talking right now.

"Fine mom, did you need something?" I ask kind of harshly. I open the oven with my good hand, carefully pull the tray out with the same hand. Holding the phone between my face and shoulder, I flip everything and put it back in.

"When are you coming home?" she asks me suddenly after she was quiet for at least a minute. I almost say soon, but decide not to be so vague.

"Friday, next week. By then my wrist won't we so bad and things with school should be settled in." I say emotionlessly. I hear the door open and look to see who it is. Sometimes Eli's dad comes home early, but its Eli. I go back into the kitchen without seeing anyone else. Eli comes to the doorway and I give him the one minute finger. He nods and walks out.

"Clare I think you should come home sooner than that. Its lonely here." she says. I explode with anger.

"I'm sorry, its lonely there?" I yell. "Who is to blame there?"

"Clare, you are the one who left." she says calmly.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I am the one who lift, more like you drove me away. Don't call looking for me, if I want to talk to you I have your number." I say hanging up quickly. Eli walks in the room with his eyes wide as ever. "Did you really just say 'fucking' Clare?" he asks me stunned. I blush forgetting that he had picked up Janie, who is standing behind him a little to his right. She is looking blankly at me. She is beautiful, she has big brown eyes. Her medium brown hair looks natural and I assume Julia's was died in the picuters on his mirror. Other than the hair color, she looks exactle like her late twin, her skin is slightly tan and she has a near flawless smile.

"Sorry," I apologize, sitting down at his table. He comes up to me and rubs my back lightly.

"Janie this is Clare, who I don't think I have ever heard swear before. Clare this is Janie, Julia's twin sister." he says awkwardly.

"Hi," I say nervously, blushing like crazy, I can feel it.

"Hello," she says less nervous than I am. She offers her right hand to me and I smile giving her my bad hand.

"Who's hungry?" Eli asks, he looks like he is feeling awkward, his hands are both shoved in his pockets. I giggle at him.

"I'll get it out of the oven," I stand up grabbing an oven mit which is snatched out of my hand quickly.

"No, no. You sit." he orders me. I put my hands in the air surrendering. "Ice, you promised." he says opening the oven and taking the tray of food out. He set in on the stove and pulls out three plates and puts food on each one. He sets them down in front of us and grabs forks.

"So what do you like to do?" I ask trying to sound more confident than I really feel inside. She smiles warmly.

"Well I like rid-" she starts but cuts herself off. "I like to read a lot, hang out with my friends. Like everyone else." I look at Eli and he appears upset.

"I suppose that was given," I laugh. She smiles at me and I decide I like her.

"Possibly, so tell me about Dr. Doom over here, how is he doing at the new school, that I guess isn't so new anymore." she says.

"Well, his first day he ran my glasses over with his car," I say giving him a look, he laughs and smirks at me. The rest of the night Janie and I talk about Eli and the trouble he's gotten into, us, and some other little things.

**This was already one of the longest chapters without my commenting, but I really feel like it was necessary to say all of that. So yeah. Ha.**

**On my profile there are tons of pictures of things but specifically pictures of Julia and Janie. Well my envisioning of them. Check them out?**

**One more thing, I love everything about you guys. Honest. :)**


	26. Chapter 5: Lies, Lies, Lies

**Ok typing from my new home, my dorm room. It's freezing in here! Its huge, but its distracting. I am getting my first chance now to write. So here you go!**

**Shout out to vampirelover333 for being my 100th reviewer!**

The night after Clare and Janie met, the two of us go out to dinner and to see a movie. By now her cast has accumulated several signature, not one of them mine. We eat dinner at a cute restaurant called Paradise. They serve tropical and island foods with an overly obvious theme of island life. We enjoy a peaceful and clam dinner.

"When we get home, I am finally signing that thing." I say joking with her. She smiles at me and I return my attention to the road and drive to the movie theater.

"Finally," she mocks. I shoot her a glance making her giggle uncontrollably. I park in the closest spot that I can find and we go inside the air conditioned cinema.

"Two tickets to _Vampires Suck,_ please," I say to the man behind the glass window. I slide a twenty under the window and he pushes the tickets to my side. As the movie goes on, I find it hilarious while Clare seems to get angry about it. She laughs but seems pissed at it.

"Its just a movie," I say putting a hand on her right leg. She puts her hand on top of mine and intertwines our fingers. She starts to lighten up about the movie and it ends up being a great date night for us. We go back to my house after and it's a little after eleven, she decides to shower I open my closet and see my abandoned guitar sitting in the back inside its case. Its been just over a week since its been used. I get changed into sleepwear and position myself on my bed, half sitting up and half laying, the water turns off and she comes out a few minutes later. I see a new side of Clare, she is wearing shorts showing more skin than normal, and a tight fitting t-shirt.

"I didn't wash my other clothes yet," she says tugging at the black t-shirt. I smirk at her making her blush.

"You look fine, now come and lay down with me," I say moving myself from the center of the bed just over a little to the left. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her neck, pulling her close to me. She cranes her neck to look at me, giving me full access to her lips, which I take full advantage of immediately. She smiles into our connection and deepens it a little more.

She pulls away gasping for air and I breathe heavily, loving the feeling she always gave me in the pit of my stomach. I kiss her softly on the lips and turn the TV on. The news is on and a picture of K.C. is shown. Clare sits up and leans forward to hear what they are saying.

"_Degrassi teen has the cops called on him for holding another student at knifepoint," _A picture of Fitz pops up, I smile to myself shaking my head, but erase the smile before Clare can see. _"Allegedly the victim verbally attacked the student with the knife and was soon shocked to find he was carrying a knife on him. Both teens are fine, but Mark Fitzgerald is in holding for the time being." _Clare looks at me in shock.

"Mark," she whispers. I feel jealousy spike up in me again, but wonder what K.C. was attacking him about. I take sometime to thing about it until Clare starts talking.

"K.C. says 'That Mark kid was 'creeping' up on me in the hall the other day, trying to hold my hand. He says he knows what kind of guy Mark is and that I should steer clear of him.'" she says to me.

"The day he signed your cast," I realize.

"Right, but why would K.C. care about Mark, I am dating you after all, why hasn't he said anything to you. Guilt hits me hard in the pit of my stomach. I debate telling her that he has twice now. Once last school year when we had just started dating and just on Friday between first and second periods.

"I don't know," I lie to her, feeling even worse. "I'm kind of tired, can we just go to sleep now?" I ask trying to avoid the subject of her jealous threatening ex boyfriend. We lay down and she falls asleep fast, while I lay awake thinking about what happened the other day with K.C.

"_Hey, creep," K.C. yells to me from several feet behind me. I ignore him and keep walking, but he is persistent. "Don't you walk away from me," he says through clenched teeth._

"_Yeah, and why not?" I say, knowing about how he cheated on her, broke her heart for the first time, she looked so broken when she told me._

"_She's using you, you know that?" he asks me as if he actually believes his story. I let a laugh out._

"_No you know, you are really pathetic. I mean what, you get one girl pregnant and move onto the next, asshole." I say smiling at him, getting deeper and deeper under his skin. I can tell its working because he clenches his hands into tight fists. "You actually thing she us using me to get to you, ha." I laugh at him and Mr. Simpson rounds the corner._

"_Problem here, gentlemen?" he asks us as he passes by, slowly._

"_Of course not," I say shaking my head. After he walks away I turn my attention to K.C. "So what you are going to try and fight me, I don't fight back because I don't want to hurt her, and then what?" I ask._

"_You're dead, death boy." he says trying to get up in my face but I step to the side._

"'_Death boy'?" I ask like I'm talking to an idiot, which I apparently am. "Ouch," I mock and grasp my chest dramatically before turning into the chemistry classroom._

I shake it off and get out of bed to get some water. I try not to move the bed too much, so I don't wake her. I get into the kitchen and see my dad watching TV. I get a glass of water. I'm not really tired, so I call Adam.

"Hey," he answers quickly.

"I didn't wake you, right?" I ask realizing it is sort of late to be calling him, then I remember it's a Saturday night and he's a teenage boy with an Xbox.

"No, I was up. What's up?" he asks me, I sip at my water slowly.

"Did you see the news? K.C. 'verbally' attacked Fitz." I say making the word '"verbally" sound sarcastic. "That's what K.C. is saying to the cops. Apparently Fitz had a knife and decided to try and teach him a lesson."

"Whoa really? That's crazy, man." he say as shocked as I was when I saw it on TV.

"Yeah, Clare asked K.C. what it was about and he said because Fitz was 'creeping' up on Clare in the hall the other day. I mean, I don't by any means like the kid, but he was signing her cast." I say honestly.

"That's crazy did she ask Fitz?" Adam asks me and I don't think she did.

"Hey, don't hand up I'm going to grab her phone, ok?" I ask he agrees and I set the phone down on my kitchen table. I slip into my room and to the table on her side of my bed, I grab her phone and go back to my kitchen table.

"Alright, I'm back, I'm going to text Fitz." I say, unlocking her phone, I type in her password and it opens. I smirk at her password, "Elijah". I find Fitz's contact and push text.

_Mark, what happened today? I saw the news._

"I just asked him what happened, but if they are holding him he probably won't have his phone.' I say. I am proven wrong when her phone lights up saying "One New Text Message from Mark."

"I guess he has his it, I just got a text back," I say to Adam.

"What's it say?" he asks excitedly. I open it and read it to Adam.

"'That kid attacked me, I didn't have a knife, he did. I took it from his hand so I didn't get stabbed and that is when the cops decided to show up.'" I read it even more shocked, "Call me crazy but I believe him, K.C. is insane." I say.

"What are you going to say back?" he asks me. "Didn't K.C. try and start something with out last year too?" he asks me.

"Yeah, and Friday in the hall between first and second period." I tell Adam, we haven't really talked much since Wednesday. "I just texted him back asking if he was ok, and if he was in trouble."

"Wait really, what happened with that?" he questions me. "Why would you care if Fitz's is ok or not?"

"I don't know he came up to my in the hall and started telling me how Clare is using me, personally I was entertained." I say laughing. "This is Clare's phone, she'd ask."

"You're right she would, so nothing really big happened with K.C. in the hall? He didn't try to fight you or anything?" he asks.

"No, I told him I wouldn't fight him and hurt Clare like that. After that I went to chemistry." I inform him calmly. "Fitz's texted back. He says he might have to go to court to work things out, and K.C. and him might both be sent to counseling, and he's ok." I laugh.

"What's so funny?" Adam asks.

"He says thanks for the concern. It sounded girly." I laugh a little more and finish my water. "Hey, I should probably go back to bed," I say realizing it's almost one.

"Alright I'll talk to you tomorrow.' Adam hangs up and I walk back to my room and crawl into bed, snaking my arm over her middle.

**So I didn't edit this really well, I don't have a lot of quiet time on my own and my neighbor is here kind of creepin' so yeah. There it is! ****J**


	27. Chapter 6: Framing Hanley

**Chapter six!**

School on the thirteenth drags on all day, rumors are flying everywhere throughout the halls about K.C. and Mark. When I finally get to gym I am more than relieved to see Jenna off in the corner waiting for me. We are sent to the library and told to stay after school to work out an assignment that Jenna and I can do to make up for the time we are going to be missing in gym. In the library she asks me about it, just to see if I know anything.

"K.C. told me he saw Mark talking to me and trying to hold my hand," I say. Jenna's jaw drops and she give me a look saying everything.

"He's so stupid. He just likes attention on him. What about the knife?" she asks me.

"Eli took my phone Saturday night while I was sleeping and texted Mark, he doesn't know that I know he did it, but he asked him about it. Mark says K.C. had the knife and he took it from him seconds before the cops showed up. I guess they both have to do some counseling and they have to go to court." I explain to her.

"Wow, well then." she says, placing a hand on her swelled middle. She smiles and takes hold of my hand, placing it where hers was. I feel a gentle pressure on my hand and smile when I realize it's a kick. "He's getting big," she says smiling at me.

"It's a boy?" I ask stupidly, seeing as she just said "he".

"Yeah," she smiles widely. She seems happy with her life at the moment. Teen Start, as far as I know, is going well for her as well.

"Have you though any name yet?" I ask making her smile again, nodding this time.

"Yeah, I was thinking Jayden, but I haven't really thought about a middle name, not yet at least." she tells me.

"Let's see, Jayden: James, Daniel, Spencer, Tyler, Kyle, hmmm-" I trail off thinking of middle names. She makes an excited sound and I look back up at her.

"Kyle, Jayden Kyle Middleton." she says smiling. I smile too, glad that I could be of some help to her.

"It sounds great together, I love it." I say, honestly. The bell rings and I go to my Spanish class to endure forty minutes of confusion, Alli and I exchange notes until class is over. I meet Eli at my locker.

"Hey I'll be home later, I have to stay with the gym teachers for a little bit." I tell him, he fake pouts.

"Fine, I'll go home all by myself. Do you want me to pick you up in a little bit?" he asks me, turning his pout to a smirk.

"Jenna and I are going to get coffee at the dot and her brother is giving me a ride to your house." I see Jenna coming our way, I wave.

"As long as I get this," he says and kisses me strong on the lips. "bye, see you in a couple of hours." he says kissing my light on the lips once more.

"Bye," I blush, which I still do almost every time he kisses me still. "Ready, Jenna?" I ask after she closes her locker.

"Yeah, let's go," she says and we go to the gym. We sit down on the bleachers and the gym teacher gives us a project to work on, giving us the opportunity to do it together. We work on it for an hour planning out our report of the history of volleyball. We have to write a three page paper and create poster or a power point about it. After working on it for an hour Jenna calls her brother and asks him to get us. We wait for him outside. He pulls up in a truck and Jenna gets in first and me second. The three of us go to The Dot for coffee.

"Kyle, Clare helped me think of a middle name for the baby," she starts to tell her brother. "Jayden Kyle Middleton." she says making her brother smile.

"Really?" he asks happily.

"Yeah, I mean you have been here for me so far, and I think it's a great idea. Then he'll know who he can always trust and love." she says.

"I really do think it goes with Jayden, and it's a pretty awesome name," he jokes. We finish our coffee and Kyle takes me to Eli's house. I open the door and hear his stereo playing in his room. I start to get closer and I hear gently acoustic guitar without anything electric or drums. I get curious because it isn't what he normally would listen to. I start to go into his room and see the guitar is him playing. He is facing his computer, facing away from the doorway. I didn't know he could even play. He starts to sing along with the strumming.

_Well I swear to GodWe've been down this road beforeThe guilt's no goodAnd it only shames us moreAnd the truths that we all tried to hideAre so much clear when it's not our livesWe don't face the blameWon't you(Get on your knees)Believe(Have faith)In this lie with us allNow my body's on the floorAnd I am callingWell I'm calling out to youCan you hear me now?It's not a rebellion when yourSelling out to another fashion salesmanOur promising livesAre full of empty promisesTemptation's fallingAnd calling you home againI'm sorry if we've let you downWon't you(Get on your knees)Believe(Have faith)In this lie with us allNow my body's on the floorAnd I am callingWell I'm calling out to youCan you hear me now?What's wrong?What's wrong?What's wrong?Now my body's on the floorAnd I am callingI'm calling out to youCan you hear me now? _

I stand smiling as he finishes the song I have never heard before. I'm not exactly sure what I am supposed to do, since I feel like he doesn't want me to know he plays. I'm confused by why, but I don't let it bother me. I walk up behind him wrapping my arms around his neck. I kiss his cheek and he looks to me.

"I didn't know you were home," he says, nervous, like he is explaining himself.

"That was beautiful. Why didn't you even tell me?" I ask, he sets the guitar down and pulls me onto his lap. He kisses my cheek lightly.

"I don't know, no one really knows. Janie and Adam, that's pretty much it." he explains to me. I sigh faintly.

"Well, you're pretty great." I smile, shrugging of the slight hurt of not knowing. "What else can you play?" I ask getting up off his lap. He grabs the guitar again. Strumming a gentle song.

_Pardon me for saying I was afraidShe'd never give me the time of dayIf love is a slow danceI just hope for one chanceI hope time could stopIt's hard for me to breatheShe's really walking over here to meWhat should I say?What should I do?_

He stops, and looks at me biting on his bottom lip. I give him a reassuring smile.

"Don't act so nervous, you are really great. I wouldn't lie to you." I say kissing the crook of his smirk, he turns his face and deepens the kiss.

"Thanks," he say pulling away.

"For the compliment or the kiss?" I joke, he puts the guitar back down and stands up, close to me. He pulls me against him and kisses me passionately.

"That answer your question?" he whispers into my ear. I give him a playful smack and he smirks and winks at me. I giggle.

"I saw that you texted Mark," I say lightly, looking him in the eye. He looks guilty and apologetic at the same time. "I'm not mad," I add.

"Sorry, Adam and I were curious. It was that or I take the number from your phone and text him from my phone. I thought pretending to be you would be better." he admits.

"You are probably right." I kiss him, smiling into it.

**Songs are both in my profile, if you want to listen. Wow so this is distracting but I am working hard to update and write for you and mostly myself.**


	28. Chapter 7: A Different Kind Of Fun

**Ok this in not edited at all. I'm really sorry. Maybe I will take it off to edit it later. I have been so busy.**

"Move out Saturday instead," I whisper in Clare's ear as we are laying in bed a few hours after school on Thursday. I kiss the side of her head.

"Why, I thought Friday was when we decided," she asks me in a half talk half whisper voice making me kiss her again.

"My dad is having a party tomorrow night, I'm bar tending. I want company, Adam will be here too." I say roping myself up on my right elbow allowing me to face her.

"So, Saturday?" she questions but doesn't expect an answer. I give her one of a different variety, I lean down and hold my weight off of her and kiss her, her hands go into my hair and I cup her face with my right hand. I move my left leg to the other side of her body. I am holding myself up with my left arm, my hand is closer to her head and my elbow angled away from her near shoulder level. She moves a hand from my hair to the left side of my waist, she tugs at my belt loop lightly pulling me a little closer. I move my hand from her face to her shirt hem. I toy with it a little, with no intention other than having something to do with my hand.

Someone clears their throat at my doorway, I switch my weight from my left side to my right and roll onto the right side of my heated body. I take a deep breath before looking to see who it is. Adam stands in my doorframe, he walks in slowly. Clare's face is beat red when I look at her. I smirk.

"Hey, Adam. I forgot you were coming over today." I say coolly, still breathing heavily. I sit up and Clare does too, she is practically gasping for air, but hides it well.

"Well, I sort of assumed so," he says laughing. I get up and go over to him. Clare just sits in her place, clearly embarrassed by what Adam saw. "It's fine. Homework now?" he says starts setting his backpack down on my bed, but pulls it off giving me a look.

"It's safe," I laugh, Clare's blush just gets deeper. She is being quiet and it get a little worried. We all start doing homework and she remains silent.

"Oh, about tomorrow, I can't. I have counseling from seven to eight, then my mom has me doing some sort of thing with her." he explains.

"Maybe next time," I offer and look to Clare again. "Adam, would you mind if Clare and I stepped into the hall for a second?" I ask looking at her.

"No, go ahead." he says. I get up off the ground breaking our triangle, pulling Clare up with me. I drag her into the hallway, she looks at me.

"What?" I ask almost snapping at her.

"Why are you so edgy?" she asks, looking upset.

"I'm not, I'm just confused. Why are you being so quiet and why are you ignoring Adam?" I tone my voice down to a calmer level.

"Its awkward, for me at least." she says and I can see where it could be awkward, but it's not like it was her mom or anyone that would care.

"Clare, Adam doesn't care about what he saw, as long at he can be around us without that going on the entire time, he couldn't careless." I say putting my right hand on her upper left arm, her arms are crossed.

"Its just embarrassing, I spent tome building my innocent reputation. I just don't get caught doing those kinds of things." she explains further.

"I know, just it's Adam. Can we go in there and act normal?" I ask her rubbing her arm, up and down softly. She nods. "Possible apologize to him?" I suggest.

"Yeah," she goes back into my room taking her seat to Adam's right leaving my space in the triangle open. "Sorry, Adam." she says returning to her homework. He looks at me questioningly. I shrug my shoulders. Wee finish our homework and I hear my dad come in. a couple minutes later, he is knocking at my door. I open it and he steps in.

"I'm going to the store, need anything?" he asks me. I shake my head "no" and he leaves without another word. We are all sitting on my bed I am on the far left and Adam in on the right, Clare is in the middle close to me, my arm around her waist. We are watching an episode of _Pushing Daisies_.

"This show is kind of creepy," Clare says making a weirded out face. Adam laughs and Clare shoots him a look. After we eat something at nine thirty, Adam leaves. Clare showers and watches TV while I shower, then we go to sleep, knowing the next night would be a long night.

Every morning that I wake up next to her reassures me that I have made the right decision in dating her. She has done so much to help me get over Julia, but keep her in my memory. I wake up before the alarm goes off and I am shocked. I get ready and when the alarm goes off Clare wakes up.

"You're up early," she notices. I nod slowly.

"We went to bed early, I guess I got enough sleep." I say as she gets out of bed. She gets ready and we go to school. They day goes by relatively quick, mostly because I it want to be. We go back to my house after school and my dad is finishing setting up for his party. The party starts at five, giving us three hours before we have to do anything.

"Elijah, I am going out to buy liquor and food." he says from the living room. Seconds later the door shuts, and I practically glue myself to Clare, pushing her against the counter. She giggles and kisses me deeply, putting both hands on my face. Then pushing me away.

"Tease," I joke with a smirk, she winks at me and lip my lips lightly. Her eyes scroll across the room, eyeing it like it's something new.

"There are a lot of blenders." she points out. There are three sitting out on the counter, a few stacks of cups are in between them.

"This isn't my first rodeo, or my dads. He throws these parties three or four times a year, this is the first one since we've moved here though. I did the alcohol handling for his last one, around Christmas." I say looking in the freezer. Sure enough it is full of three large bags of ice.

"Oh," she says quietly. I nod. "That is kind of cool, I guess." she adds. She was obviously new to this kind of thing, which really doesn't surprise me in the least.

"Yeah they're fun. A whole bunch of professionals who work in cubicles all day getting drunk, I have to say its fun to watch." I shrug my shoulders. "He sometimes plays some good music too, so that's a plus." I add on.

"So what do we do now?" she starts to leave the kitchen heading towards the hallway.

"Well we wait, when my dad gets home he'll want me to look at what he has and I'll make sure I can make specific drinks for his guests. And then they will starts arriving before we know it." I follow her.

"What about until he gets home?" she says slyly. I follow her further down the hall. She takes a right into my room.

"Well we have twenty minutes," I say walking slowly towards her. She pauses her retreat and grabs the pill bottle off the TV stand.

"Painkillers," she says looking at her wrist. She swallows them without a drink and picks back up on her retreat. I keep at her and she stops when the backs of her knees hit my bed. She wait until I am only inches away to switch sides so that I am closest to the bed. She pushes me down, laughing.

"I win," she taunts I grab her phone from her pocket.

"What you want this in the toilet?" I taunt right back, starting to run slowly towards my bathroom, she runs after me pulling me down, care not to hurt her wrist, I grab her good wrist and slide her phone into the bathroom with my other hand. She is sitting on my legs, trying to keep me in place. I shove her off lightly and pounce on her, pinning her to the ground. Kneeling on either side of her holding her arms up on the sides of her head, I lean in and kiss her.

"Ow, my wrist," she says sharply and I get off her and let her sit up. She mocks my movements and before I know it, it's me pinned to the ground. "Sucker," she says her face centimeters from mine. She kisses my neck and gets up. I stand up and we race to her phone, she gets to it first.

"So not fair," I say like a pre-teen girl with the facial movements and all. She sticks out her tongue, scrunching her face up. "Did you pan on keeping that tongue?" I ask, but can't keep a straight face.

"Elijah," my name rings out loudly and firm.

"My dads home," I laugh. She follows me to where he is standing in the kitchen.

"Here, its all you." he says then puts his hand in his pocket. "Oh, this too," he hands me two hundred dollar bills. I open the bags he brought in. Clare watches as I look at everything and read some labels for about forty five minutes. I put in all in the fridge.

"One more thing, Elijah." he starts, "If you drink tonight wait until later on after everyone is taken care of. Don't be stupid, or embarrass me." he says then walks away. People start arriving a little later. I take requests for three hours and Clare helps me when she can. At eight thirty people slowed their drinking speed, most already drunk. I pour myself and Clare each a glass of Pepsi, I pour in a little cherry vodka into mine and look at Clare. She doesn't seem sure of what to think of what I have done. I hold the bottle up to her and she shrugs her shoulders.

"Here try this," I say handing her my cup after I have taken a sip. She takes a small sip and sucks on her bottom lip. "You like it?" I ask her.

"I guess so," she furrows her eye brows.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, Clare," I say sweetly, and honest.

"Maybe just a little," she tries to pull my smirk off, working it a little better than she used to. I pour a little less into her cup than I did in mine. I take another sip of mine and she takes a bit of hers. The rest of the consisted of us drinking a couple more drinks and watching the overly drunk people. When everyone is gone my dad goes right to bed, drunk out of his mind.

"You're buzzed," I say to Clare who has began to wobble when she walks. "Lightweight," I laugh and she glares at me. "Bed?" I ask her. She nods and I walk with her to my room, she changes into her pajamas in the bathroom and I change after. She brushes her teeth and I do too. She falls asleep quickly and I lay there and listen to her light breathing, fully at peace with my life.

**Also sorry about the two days in one chapter, I probably won't do it again. I am really sorry. **


	29. Chapter 8: Homecoming

**Ok, so not everyone liked Clare's little party thing, too late what's posted is posted.**

The morning after the party I wake at the early hour of noon, but it feels much more like six a.m. I feel as though I got no sleep. I roll to look at Eli and he is gone, I start to sit up but feel like my upper body weighs more than normal. When I eventually get up, I get the sensation of all my blood leaving my head, I blink hard a few times before heading out of his room. I find him in the kitchen with the light all the way up.

"Morning," I squint my eyes from the brightness level. He laughs at me and hands me a water bottle.

"Where are those painkillers of yours," he laughs at me again I rub my eyes and shake my head, trying not to laugh at myself.

"I have, no idea," I take a sip of the water, when it fills my mouth with the hydration I realize how thirsty I am, I drink almost half the bottle in one breath. Eli walks out of the room and reappears in a minute.

"Here," he says handing me a pill. He runs his fingers through my hair, pulling at small tangles. After I finish the water I feel a little better. My hand is throbbing lightly. "I shouldn't pressured you," he says calmly, yet apologetic.

"You didn't, I wouldn't have drank any if I wasn't curious." I say honestly. He is cleaning up the mess of a house, there are cups on every surface in the kitchen and living room.

"So, you aren't mad at me?" he asks sweetly coming over to kiss my cheek. I smile and fill the bottle up with more cold water.

"Of course not," I start to pick up cups with him and stack them on the table. "So maybe I should go pack my stuff up," I say quietly. Eli looks up from his cup collecting.

"I guess so," he says in a sad tone. "Why don't you leave a couple outfits here, you are always welcome here?" he suggests making me smile.

"I'll keep a drawer of clothes here," I leave the room and start to pack my suitcase back up. I leave a few items of clothing here in a drawer I was using. When I go back out to the kitchen its like a whole new place.

"Wow, you clean up fast," I complement.

"Clare you were in there packing for over an hour, I've been at this since eleven." he says giving me a look like I'm crazy. I look at the clock and it has been an hour since I went to start pack. "We have a little bit before you told your mom you would be there, want to go to McDonalds or something and get some lunch?" he asks, I nod.

"I'm starving," I remember that its been almost twenty four hours since I have eaten anything. I throw my things in the hearse and climb in the front seat.

"Are you ready to be living at home?" he asks me after we pull out. I start to form my answer in my head, because I'm not fully sure.

"I don't know, I really can't stand what they have done to me with this. I will really miss living with you, but Mr. Simpson does have a point about it being a little inappropriate, I guess." I shrug off, letting Mr. Simpson's words from our last talk on Thursday sink in.

"He said that?" Eli questions me. I nod lightly. "I mean, I guess I can see what he is saying by that, well suggesting by that at least."

"I didn't really want to get into that discussion with him, so I just agreed that it was a little inappropriate of us." I inform him.

"Well maybe you can come stay for a weekend here and there," he suggests in a questioning tone. I smile and we pull into a McDonalds play place. Eli orders two fries, a cheese burger, chicken nuggets, and two cherry cokes like normal. I find us a table in the corner and sit down. I watch a couple kids playing in a ball pit, I smile.

"Clare, I forgot to tell you something," I turn my attention to him as he sits down observing me watching them.

"What's that?" I ask him curiously, his face turns to a serious. Whenever he does this it makes me incredibly nervous.

"We are never having kids," he says smirking. He emphasizes the word never. "When they set your wrist I though my fingers were going to fall of, literally." he laughs at my expense.

"Sorry," I can feel my face getting hot.

"I'm kidding, well about not having kids, not so much the hand part." he say continues to laugh. I let a small laugh out and take a sip of my drink. I choke on it.

"I can't drink this, not today." I hand him my cup of cherry Pepsi.

"Sorry, forgot about that minor detail." he smirks at me. We finish eating and head over to my house. I knock on the door while Eli grabs my things.

"Clare you don't have to knock, it is your house," my mother answers, I walk past her and she holds the door for Eli. We go right up to my room, I shut the door and start to put my clothes in my drawers. I will miss Eli and I living together, but I knew we couldn't do that forever, not now at least. After I am unpacking my mom knocks at the door.

"Come in," Eli yells and I shoot him a semi angry pout face, he smirks apologetically at me. My mom walks in, I'm kneeling on the floor by my dresser and Eli is sitting on my bed.

"I would prefer you to leave your door open when you are both in here alone." She says looking between Eli and I, Eli smiles at her.

"Of course," he says. He gets up and follows her when she leaves. I wonder why but don't ask. I finish unpacking my stuff, I lay in my bed and it feels so foreign. I shut my eyes for just a second and begin to wonder about my dad. So far every time I tried to think of him, it hurt to much to care where he was. I feel my eyes fill with hot tears and roll onto my side, pulling my knees up closer to my chest. I try not to let the tears fall, but they do and hard. I can only picture him in my head, it makes me cry harder because my last memories of him consist of; him fighting with my mom and him sending me away. When I see my mom I hate her for what she did to me, but all I see in her is her sadness for her crumbled marriage. This isn't my life, I tell myself. Over and over, I repeat those word in my head but it never becomes reality. I hear footsteps faintly, but I'm not sure of anything at the moment. I just lay there and cry to myself.

"Clare," a voice yells loudly to me, I think I hear more footsteps but I am unsure. "Clare," the voice says again, I can't see anything, its all blurred by tears. I feel myself being shaken and sharply inhale to fill my lungs. There is a rubbing feeling on my back, I ignore it

"Baby girl," another voice says less loudly, almost as if it is asking a question. I hear a set of footsteps leave quickly. Someone crawls into my bed behind me and pulls me close to them. I start to see things for what they are, and I know the hand holding me tight, is Eli's. I turn and look at him. His eyes look scared and I realize its my fault they are like that.

"Clare, what's wrong?" he asks me in a soothing voice, he strokes my hair with the hand that was previously around me. I speak because I have been crying so hard, so when I try Eli just coo's a sweet "Shh," to me continuously playing with my hair. He lets me lay there and cry silently to myself for at least an hour.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks me, as softly as before, once I have stopped for a couple minutes. I bite my lip and wriggling myself closer to him. He puts his arms around me protectively and starts to prop himself up against my headboard. I pull myself up and he hugs my waist, I lay back onto his chest, on an angle from his right side. His legs are stretched out and crossed at his ankles, mine and Indian style.

"I don't like being here, it puts me together with reality." I whisper, weakly. He kisses my temple and rubs my left hand softly and smoothly, my arms are folded over his loose arms, holding me close to his body.

"What are you talking about?" he asks me and I feel my eyes fill again with tears. He sees and wipes them away quickly, before they can spill over.

"I just hoped I would come here and it would be back to normal. Them fighting was better than this. I miss my dad, but I hate him all at the same time." I drabble, the words pour out quickly.

"Clare, I talked to your mom about that. I know you miss him, you talk about it while you sleep sometimes. She gave me his address, we're going to visit him tomorrow, your mom also okayed me staying over tonight, as long as the door remains open." he tells me making me feel anxious but calmer.

"Really," I ask unsure if I believe what he said. He nods and kisses my left temple again. I feel another few tears breakaway and I wipe them off.

"You know, Clare," he starts I look up and to my left, only to be greeted by his green eyes that if given the chance I would get lost in forever. "Your eyes look even pretty when you cry," he says making me smile. "The red makes the blue stand out even more, I wish I could stare into them forever." he says making me lose another tear, a happy tear, though.

"Dinner," my mom calls up the stairs. I sit forward letting Eli stand up first. He pulls me up, and brings me into him tightly. He tilts my chin up with his left hand and kisses me calmly before we go downstairs to eat. I push my food around my plate and my mom gives me a look. I put a forkful of pasta in my mouth and chew slowly. I finish half my food by time everyone is done, she lets me get away with it and I go up to my room. Eli goes home and gets clothes, by time I finish my shower he's back and in clothes to sleep in.

"I have a question," I say quietly.

"Ask away," he offers, laying in my double bed.

"Why didn't last night effect you as much as it did me?" I ask seriously. I crawl into my bed and sit in a similar position as earlier.

"I can hold more in me before I start to get effected, also I told you it wasn't our first rodeo. I know better than to get drunk." he says to me.

"I wasn't drunk," I counter his response. He smiles at me with his lopsided smile.

"I never said you were. Now, its bedtime." He kisses me a final time before pulling the cover back and letting me get in.

**Also, someone said this story is too long, so what do you thing? **


	30. Chapter 9: The Things We Do For Love

**Way to make me feel fantastic ****J**

Clare didn't sleep well all night, she turned and tossed mumbling. She kept me up, as well as herself. I feigned sleep the entire night, falling asleep here and there, but never soundly. I suppose I got more sleep than her, by morning she looks like she's been up all night, but I appear mildly rested. When the clock strikes ten she is up and out of bed.

"You sure you want to get up, you hardly slept?" I sit up, questioning her. She turns from her dresser to look in my direction.

"Sorry if I kept you awake." she whispers sleepily. I run both of my hands through my hair and get out of bed.

"It's fine, when do you want to leave?" I try to get her talking. She glances at me quickly, continuing to dig through her drawers. She shrugs her shoulders lightly and chooses an outfit. She goes to the bathroom to change and I sit on the edge of her bed, putting my elbows on my knees, cradling my head in my hands. I blow the air out of my loudly. I change my clothes quickly while she is in the bathroom. I turn on her laptop to map-quest the directions to her dad's new home. It looks easy to get to, I look around and Clare is sitting at her vanity brushing light makeup on her face. Putting her computer on her desk, I mentally write the directions in my head.

"Clare," I start, she looks to me with tired and sad eyes. "Are you ready to go eat lunch and go?" I ask her and she just keep looking at me.

"I'm not hungry, let's just go." she says, pulling her shoes on. We walk downstairs and I start to put my own shoes on, then go to the kitchen and grab my keys off the buffet table. I see a note sitting there.

_Clare, I have to work until seven o'clock tonight, there is food in the fridge, if you go out please be home by nine. Church in the morning make sure you have something to wear. Mom._

I go out to the kitchen and she is already outside leaning on the car. I walk up to her and try to kiss her, but she turns her head to avoid my lips. Shocked I pull back putting my hands on the air like I'm surrendering to something. I walk to my side of the car and get in. I drive silently, following the map inscribed in my brain. I see an apartment building. Its tall and looks rather expensive. I knew both her parents had great jobs, but this was a little ridiculous for a single man. I look the Clare after I park the hearse. She is staring straight ahead, but looks the building up and down, evaluating it.

"Ready," I ask, she gets out and slams the door and starts for the door. We go in and a doorman stops us before the door has even shut behind us.

"New faces, go to the front desk or security will be called," he informs us sternly. I nod, annoyed. We go to the desk and a young man is sitting in a computer chair texting.

"Ahem," I clear my throat, he jumps and puts his phone in his pocket.

"Visitors?" he questions. Clare stands there staring at him and I nod. "What room?" he asks me.

"I don't know, we've never been here before. We are here to visit her dad, he moved about two three weeks ago. Last name Edwards." I say to the guy. He types something in on the computer.

"Sixth floor, turn right for apartment six twenty five." he hands me a form and two visitor passes. "Since you didn't come in with him you have to fill this out and put yourselves in the system as allowed visitors" I fill out the paper and give it to him. Clare remains silent the entire time. I hand her the tag and she clips it to the hem of her shirt. We get up to the sixth floor and knock at the door.

"Clare-y," her dad says excitedly. "and, Eli," he continues sounding un-approvingly of my presence. He waves us to come in and we sit on a couch and he sits on a matching chair across from us.

"What happened, princess?" he asks her, looking down at her right arm, caringly. She tugs at the sleeve of her sweater trying to cover the blue cast.

"I fell," she says sharply and quietly. I roll my eyes and begin to feel annoyed with her attitude. I shoot her a warning glance but she doesn't seem to care.

"So, how have you been at home?" he asks her, trying to be friendly with her. I almost can't help but laugh at him trying to be fatherly to her.

"I just moved back home." she says seriously to him, I feel my stomach do flips hoping that he doesn't ask where she has been living.

"What do you mean that you 'just moved back home'?" he asks staring in shock. I feel my eyes grow wide when he looks at me. I clear my throat nervously.

"I have been staying with Eli and his father, who didn't leave him." she tries to make him feel bad, but his serious glare, focused in my direction makes me bounce my leg nervously. I play with a ring on my right thumb.

"Eli," he practically growls at me.

"In my guest room," I say quickly, his glare remains glued to my face, he doesn't break eye contact. I bite at the skin on my thumb.

"Jesus wouldn't approve," her dad says, she looks to the ground nervously.

"That's a matter of opinion, Randal," I say laugh harshly and opinionatedly at him. I spit his first name showing no respect. I stand up and start to storm out. Clare runs after me slowly.

"Clare where do you think you are going?" her dad yells to her. She doesn't respond but walks out walking after me. I hate when people press religion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and his was defiantly not the same as my own. I get to the elevator and honestly contemplate not holding it for Clare, but I do anyway. She steps in and avoids eye contact. I get off the elevator and throw my tag on the desk and walk out quickly. I get in and start Morty and wait for Clare to get in.

"I am hungry, I am going to The Dot for food, are you coming with?" I ask as soon as we are out of the parking lot.

"I guess," she says quietly. I drive quickly, a few miles over the speed limit, not particularly caring. Annoyance has built up in me and doesn't seem to be planning to leave.

"What the hell, Clare?" I yell, slamming my hands down on the steering wheel. I glance over to her while I'm letting my anger out on the steering wheel. My hands are glued tightly to the thin leather-like covering wrapped around it.

"What," she snaps back, looking at my. Pain and hurt filling her brilliant blue eyes. I feel guilty, but she hasn't even been half way decent to me today.

"Why are you acting like this? You have been acting, well ridiculous since this morning." I say harshly, not trying to hide anything.

"I'm tired." she spits at me, I laugh automatically, without even realizing I've done it.

"As am I, I am acting like a teenager not a damn five year old. That is no excuse." I yell, I look out my window and see a lady with a dog in the front seat staring at me yell at Clare. I roll down my window and look right at her. "What?" I practically jump out of my seat when I say it. Her eyes get big and she looks away.

"Eli, calm down, Jesus." she says making me more angry.

"Me calm down? Awesome." I say parking at The Dot. I get out and walk quickly to the door. I yank it open and go to the counter.

"Pepsi and-" I pause when the door opens and Clare walks in. "Ugh- my usual," I groan to Peter before throwing myself down in a chair. Clare sits across from me and stars at me. I huff a large breath out loudly. She rolls eyes at me.

"Here, Eli. Clare can I get you anything?" Peter asks putting my food in front of me. She shakes her head no.

"She'll have fries and Pepsi." I interject, Peter nods waling away seeming confused.

"I'm not hungry, Eli." she says to me. I roll my eyes to her, "What's your problem?" she asks me and I manage not to laugh.

"My problem? Clare, my problem is your attitude." I say putting a fry into my mouth, biting down hard on it.

"If I'm such a problem maybe I should go," she gets up and shoves her chair into the table hand, as if trying to hit me with it. She leaves quickly without another word.

"Wait," I manage to say before she is completely out of ear shot. She shakes her head quickly and goes outside. I knew it, I knew I would hurt her. I get up and follow her out, Peter starts to follow me but he stops when he looks at my face. I imagine I must look like someone just got shot out front, he then looks around to see if there is a problem. I stop and put out my wallet and put a twenty on the end of the counter. I run after her but she ignores me the entire time.

"Clare, please don't do this to me," I yell after her she keeps running, not at full speed but she was fat enough away, she knew I couldn't catch up for a while. By time she gets to her house I can hardly breathe, my lungs feel like I an exhaling fire. I sit down on the curb of the sidewalk and try to catch my breath. I feel something hit my side suddenly, its not too hard but enough for me to gasp. I snap my head up to see who it is.

"Fitz," I groan and sigh at the same time. "What?" I continue to breathe hard.

"What's your problem?" he asks not completely nasty but not exactly caring

"Apparently Clare," I can feel my eyes grow and sarcastically roll. I stand up, feeling uncomfortable with him standing while I sat there.

"Excuse me?" he asks harshly. I groan again, loudly and send a foot roughly into the tin garbage on the curb, I kick it into a medium height brick building. "Whoa" I hear Fitz mumble under his breath.

"We had a fight," I say raising my eyebrows instinctively, my eyes rolling deep into my head quickly. "It was stupid, we're both tired neither of us slept last night, I knew I would hurt her-" I trail off shaking my head to myself. I couldn't quite put my finger on why I was sitting here telling Fitz when I should have just called Adam. By now he was probably taken by Clare, though.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" he says, clueless. I scoff throw another kick to the trash can. He laughs at me shortly.

"Like I didn't just run after her for six blocks from The Dot, she has no intentions of talking with me, and I don't blame her." I sigh.

"What exactly did you fight about?" he asks me and for some reason I feel compelled to respond to him, this shocks me more than anything.

"She had a little attitude problem today, she wouldn't talk to me, I tried to kiss her and she turned her head, then we visited her dad he made a religious comment and I snapped, I drove us to The Dot and I sort of yelled a little and she got mad. She asked what my problem was I said her attitude and she thought I meant my problem was her." I say in one breath, not helping my previous breathing issue.

"Could you say that faster?" he says sarcastically. I sigh. "Ok, I'm going to sound crazy saying this, but I'm going to help you out." he raise an eyebrow in question.

"What do you mean?" I talk suspiciously, but inside I am more than curious.

"You have to let me hit you." he says and he has me lost in his plan. I stare at him like he is almost crazy. "Well, we yell some stupid fake argument loud enough for her to hear, her attention goes to a window, I hit you she gets worried and comes out to see you," he pauses. "Then she hates me."

"You think it could work?" I ask drawn in by his plan, almost admiring the thought behind it, I didn't even think of that.

"I think it could get her out talking to you, just I don't know what to 'fight' about." he says, I smirk mysteriously, idea in my head

"Well, you have been getting kind of close with my girlfriend-" I trail off.

"We're just friends, for the record and I plan to keep it that way, unless she changes that." he says provokingly.

"She would never," I say as we walk slowly towards the street in front of her house.

"Well she seemed awfully touchy-feely a couple weeks back," he says raising his voice, pushing his palms up, encouraging me to get louder.

"Back off, she is my girlfriend." I emphasize the word "Girlfriend." he looks at me like he is thinking of something to say.

"Oh wow really back off? That is your comeback?" he looks at her house quickly.

"Yet you just repeated mine," I shift my eyes and see her in the window. "When you hit me, use everything you've got." I say quietly making it seem like I said something nastier than that.

"You want to fight again? I mean you have done so great in the past haven't you?" he provokes, it works but I remember we are acting, sort of. I step in and shove him back. He grabs shirt and throws me to the ground climbing on top of me. He pulls an arm back and almost has apology in his eyes before he hits me, full force. So strongly I blackout for a second and open my eyes seeing starts, he continues to hit the side of my head, not causing any pain just making it look bad. I can't help but smirk through the pain in my jaw. I can feel blood seeping into my mouth and I feel a sharp sting on my left cheek, I assume he had cut my face there.

"Mark, stop!" I hear Clare shriek, I can't hold in a smile. She yanks at Fitz's dark blue hoodie. "Get off of him," she yells, once he is off of me and standing to the side he winks,. She kneels at my side I start to sit up. She touches my cheek with her fingers of her right hand. When she pulls her hand away blood has intermingled itself with the spaces in between.

"Eli," she moans in a whisper. I take my right hand to my cheek, and have the same result. "Come on, get up." she urges me. I oblige and feel dizzy. We start to walk towards her house, she stands on my left. I turn to look at Fitz, who is watching, I give him a thumbs up with my right thumb and he smiles.

"What happened," she says softly. I sigh and we go in and to her bathroom before I respond. I splash warm water on my face staining the water pink, leaving a thin ring of red around the porcelain sink.

"Nothing," I shrug it off. She gives me a dirty look. "I don't know I got jealous I guess." I tell, holding a washcloth tight to my bleeding cheek, I could feel a cut on my lip but it isn't bleeding at all, anymore.

"You shouldn't have." she says walking from the bathroom and starting upstairs, I follow quickly before she realizes that she is talking to me.

"Sorry," I say honestly, I know she hates the violence. She sighs and sits down on her bed. "for everything, I didn't mean that at The Dot, it slipped." I try to explain to her.

"I know, I just feel so," she takes a pause as if she is thinking about what to say. "Bad, I guess. I know it isn't my fault things are falling apart here, but they did and it sucks because it hurts." she starts to explain to me.

"Maybe you should talk to someone," I suggest. "Like a counselor or Mr. Simpson, about how you are feeling." I say.

"I'm not crazy, I'm not." she says confusing me. "They made Darcy go to counseling because she started feeling this way, I am not crazy and neither was she."

"You are right, you are not crazy. I think you just need to talk to someone who knows how to handle things like this. I saw a counselor in school until I came to Degrassi, after my mom died. I saw one a little bit last year too, about Julia." I confess to her.

"Really?" she asks sounding almost like she is shocked by this.

"Really," I say comfortingly. She smiles lightly.

"Ok," she nods making me feel a lot better about things.

"Could I see your phone real quick?" I ask, she looks at me questioningly but gives it to me. I find Fitz's number and save it in my own phone. I open a text to him.

_Fitz its Eli I'm telling her what happened, I can't just let her hate you because of me. Thanks for today by the way._

"What was that?" she asks as I hand her, her phone back.

"I have to tell you something about that fight," I start off.

**So, what do you want to see?**


	31. Chapter 10: My Turn

**Ok, so I wrote a short story about Eli, when Julia dies. I am debating on writing a second chapter to it.**

I told Eli not to plan anything for our four month on Sunday after our talk about Mark. He told me how him and Mark had faked their fight so Eli would talk to me, I was upset with both of them about it, but in a way it was good. This way they had gotten along, even if it was violent. I want to do something special for him instead of vice versa. I'm sure what we could do but I will prevail in this. I sit at my desk and scribble down a couple of ideas. I finally think of a good one and throw out the other paper. I get online and find a nice gift for him. I don't order it online because it wasn't a one hundred percent sure gift, but the idea.

"Mom, can you take me to the mall and then the store?" I ask giving her a pleading look, she looks up from her magazine and gives me a guilty look. I am glowing inside because I know she feels obligated to take me. I feel a little guilt for using that, but I need to get to the mall.

"Sure Clare, when?" she says I smile to her .

"I'll go get ready, then whenever." I say turning to run up the stairs. I change my clothes and brush my hair. I apply a little makeup to my face, and choose shoes. I walk down the stairs and she is already standing at the door, purse in hand.

"Let's go," she opens the door, she is wearing a legitimate smile and I feel less guilty about forcing her to take me to the mall.

"So where are we going?" she asks me when I pull my door shut in the car.

"The mall then to the grocery store, I have to get Eli a gift and something to make for dinner. I want to look for a new outfit, too." I say giving her a questioning nervous look. She smiles again.

"Ok, to the mall," she pulls out of the driveway and we set off. The drive is mildly awkward and quiet until my mother decides to make it even more awkward.

"So, Clare," she starts. I groan knowing that the coming statement was going to be brutal. I look at her and she switches her eyes off the road to my face. "I see you still have your purity ring on,"

"Yes, you do see that," I say coldly, not wanting to talk about this.

"Oh," she says shortly before pulling into the mall. I get out and slam my door to show my annoyance. I start to walk towards the automatic sliding doors. I can hear the clicks of her shoes on the pavement run a few strides to catch up to me.

"Clare, let's not do this, I'm sorry." she says I shrug off the intrusion in the car.

"Fine, let's just get what we need to." I say, we enter the glass doors and I decide to get Eli's gift first. "Let's go to Hot Topic so I can get Eli something." I tuck a lock of hair behind my right ear and find the Hot Topic in our mall.

"Hi, how are ya'll doing today? Just so you know all our jeans are on sale for nineteen dollars a pair." a lady with her hair pulled into a pony tail with straight bangs with blue died in them, say to my mother and I.

"Alright, thank you," my mother gives her a dirty look after she smiles to us and turns to straight out a display case near the window.

"Mom," I snap at seeing her look. She looks to the ground and we are approached my a different worker. This one is a male with a medium length Mohawk that died purple, his ears are gauged into pop cap size holes.

"Can I help you out with getting anything?" he asks me in a sweet voice, this is a perfect example of how looks can be deceiving.

"Actually yes, I am looking to get something for my boyfriend." I start saying to him, he nods thoughtfully. "This is him," I say pulling a picture of him up on my phone.

"Ahh, I think I have an idea," he says walking away. He leads me over to a rack with some jewelry hanging on thin black hooks. He turns it slowly as I look at the different thing, I debate between a ring and a bracelet.

"I think this is what I was looking at online." I say pulling a studded bracelet off the hook. I run my finger along the tips of the studs.

"We have that and a purple one just like it," he explains. I look at the purple one, but decide on the one I hold in my palm, the leather strap is black and the studs are bronze with teal flecks on them.

"This is perfect," I say smiling to the older employee. He nods and smirks at me.

"How about we cash that out, what's it for? Birthday?" he ask me.

"Four months, I told him not to do anything. He's always planning our month things, so my turn." I say as he cashes it out.

"Here you are," he hands it to me after I pay for the bracelet. "I hope to see you again sometime, good luck with him." he says I smile and wave. I walk out and meet back up with my mom who is standing outside the store. We go into a clothing store and I look for a new casual dress to wear. My mom pulls a pale green dress with thin straps, there are small pink flowers placed here and there along the fabric. I smile and nod and she keeps a hold of it. I find cute tan wedges and cash out. After we get out of the mall we go to the local grocery store.

"What do you want to get for dinner, I am assuming you are making him dinner." she raises her eyes brows to me.

"Yeah, I plan to. He likes chicken Alfredo, I think I want to make him that, and something for desert." I start for the pasta section.

"That's sounds nice, I will help you out with that, since your wrist" she looks down to my wrist which doesn't hurt as much anymore. I sigh to myself.

"Thank, mom." I say and choose a type of noodle. We continue down the aisle and I find sauce. I get everything I will need to make Eli dinner. We grab some ice cream and Sunday toppings for our desert. We pay and go home. I get into the house and put the food in the fridge. I get on doing my homework for Thursday, before cooking. Its only a little after five when I finish and put it all away.

"Can we cook now?" I ask her, she nods. "How long should it take? I want to tell Eli a time to be here"

"Tell him quarter after six," she says starting the water to boil. When the food is ready I change from my school clothes into my new dress and shoes. They both fit nicely, I fix my hair and makeup again and go downstairs.

"I'm going out, I'll be home at eleven, you have till then" She says shutting the door behind her. I smile to myself and put dinner on the table and wait. I hear a knock at the door and I jump up excitedly. I turn the knob and pull slowly and look at Eli through the crack in the door. He has a gray t-shirt on with an unbuttoned vest, black tight jeans and sneakers. He has is usual jewelry on.

"Are you planning on inviting me in, or am I standing here all night?" he asks laughing, I feel embarrassed but let him in smiling. "New dress?" he ask when I have the door shut.

"Yeah, my mom got it for me today while we were at the mall getting your gift," I smile and turn away from him. "Dinner is ready already," I put an arm out gesturing for him to go into my kitchen.

"Smell good," he takes a seat at the table, I sit down across from him and we start to eat making small talk about school, and other things of the sort. His eyes seem more green than usual and I love it more than anything else at the moment. I sit staring into his eyes as we eat. When we finish out pasta and chicken I take him to the living room its almost even o'clock.

"Sit here I have something for you." I tell him after shoving him over to the couch. He gives me a questioning look. I smile to him and walk to the stairs quickly. As I ascend the twelve steps up to the second story of my house I think of something else I have for Eli. I pull his big headphones out of my top desk drawer and the small box off the top of my desk. I hurry back down the stairs and find Eli looking at a picture that are in frames on the entertainment center.

"I thought I told you to sit there," I come up behind him, he jumps a little making me laugh. He mocks me and laughs two short, fake, laughs.

"My bad," he brushes me off, sitting down. I hold out his headphones to him. "Aw, for me you shouldn't have, I have a pair just like them, but I gave them to my girlfriend before she was my girlfriend. I don't know if you know her, but she's pretty cool." he make me giggle.

"I don't think I will be needing them here anymore," he takes them from my hand, I feel my smile sink into a small frown.

"Have you talked to anyone yet?" he asks me, I bite my lip and shake my head. "Tomorrow, I'll go down to Mr. Simpson with you, you won't have to do it alone." I nod.

"Ok, now open this," I hand him the box. He tears the paper off, then the tape before pulling the bracelet out. He smirks and takes of his other.

"I love it," he kisses me and snaps the two snaps around his wrist.

**What did you think of the dinner date idea, Clare getting closer with her mom again, and them trying to get her a little help?**

**As always the bracelet in on my profile :)**

**Also should I do a second part to the other story [If you checked it out already. If not, you should :)]? **


	32. Something On The Serious Side

Suicide is a serious issue, so please read through this. If you ever need someone to talk to please call:

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)OR

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8253)

Suicide was the seventh leading cause of death for males and the fifteenth leading cause of death for females in 2007.

Almost four times as many males as females die by suicide.

Firearms, suffocation, and poison are by far the most common methods of suicide, overall.

**However, men and women differ in the method used, as shown below:**

Suicide by: Males (%) Females (%)

Firearms: 56 30

Suffocation: 24 21

Poisoning: 13 40

**In 2007, suicide was the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24.****1**** Of every 100,000 young people in each age group, the following number died by suicide:**

Children ages 10 to 14 — 0.9 per 100,000

Adolescents ages 15 to 19 — 6.9 per 100,000

Young adults ages 20 to 24 — 12.7 per 100,000

As in the general population, young people were much more likely to use firearms, suffocation, and poisoning than other methods of suicide, overall. However, while adolescents and young adults were more likely to use firearms than suffocation, children were dramatically more likely to use suffocation.

**There were also gender differences in suicide among young people, as follows:**

-Nearly five times as many males as females ages 15 to 19 died by suicide.

-Just under six times as many males as females ages 20 to 24 died by suicide.

**Older Americans are disproportionately likely to die by suicide.**

-Of every 100,000 people ages 65 and older, 14.3 died by suicide in 2007. This figure is higher than the national average of 11.3 suicides per 100,000 people in the general population.

-Non-Hispanic white men age 85 or older had an even higher rate, with 47 suicide deaths per 100,000.

**Of every 100,000 people in each of the following ethnic/racial groups below, the following number died by suicide in 2007.**

**Highest rates**:

-American Indian and Alaska Natives — 14.3 per 100,000

-Non-Hispanic Whites — 13.5 per 100,000

**Lowest rates:**

-Hispanics — 6.0 per 100,000

-Non-Hispanic Blacks — 5.1 per 100,000

-Asian and Pacific Islanders — 6.2 per 100,000

**Fact number one**: Many articles discuss the link between suicide and winter months. Studies have shown that most suicides actually occur during the spring. There are actually fewer suicides committed in the winter months.

**Fact number two**: In the United States, there are more instances of suicide in the western states than in eastern states.

**Fact number three**: Suicide is ranked number 8 in the leading cause of death of American males.

**Fact number four**: When a male attempts suicide, they are at least four times as likely to succeed as females.

**Fact number five:** The highest number of suicides committed are by whites, followed closely by American Indian and Native Alaskan men.

**Fact number six: **Around 60% of men who commit suicide use a firearm.

**Fact number seven: **Women attempt suicide as much as three times more often than men.

**Fact number eight:** Suicide is the third leading cause of death in adolescents ages 15 through 24.

**Fact number nine**: From six to ten thousand elderly people commit suicide each year. Most use a firearm.

**Fact Number ten: **Nearly six people out of every 100,000 will attempt suicide with a firearm.

**Fact number eleven**: Florida has the highest number of suicide death over all, followed closely by Texas.

**Fact number twelve**: Rhode Island and North Dakota have the lowest number of suicide deaths.

**Fact number thirteen**: Hanging accounts for about 1/5 of all suicides.

**Fact number fourteen**: Suicide is ranked number 11 in the leading cause of death of Americans.

**Fact number fifteen: **There are nearly one million suicide attempts in the United States each year.

**Fact number sixteen:** A suicide occurs approximately every 17 minutes in the United States.

**Fact number seventeen**: Black females have the lowest suicide rate among any other group

**Breakdown by Gender / Ethnicity / Young, Old Age Groups**

Rate Per

Number Per Day 100,000 % of Deaths

Total ...30,622...83.9...10.8...1.3

Males ...24,672...67.6...17.6...2.1

Females...5,950...16.3...4.1...0.5

Whites...27,710...75.9...11.9...1.3

Nonwhites...2,912...8.0...5.6...0.9

Blacks...1,957...5.4...5.3...0.7

Elderly (65+ yrs.) .5,393...14.8...15.3...0.3

Young (15-24 yrs.)..3,971...10.9...9.9...12.3

**Breakdown by Age Groups**

(Rates Per 100,000)

Age: 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001

5-14 0.8 0.7 0.9 0.9 0.9 0.9 0.8 0.8 0.8 0.6 0.8 0.7

15-24 13.2 13.1 13.0 13.5 13.8 13.3 12.0 11.4 11.1 10.3 10.4 9.9

25-34 15.2 15.2 14.5 15.1 15.4 15.4 14.5 14.3 13.8 13.5 12.8 12.8

35-44 15.3 14.7 15.1 15.1 15.3 15.2 15.5 15.3 15.4 14.4 14.6 14.7

45-54 14.8 15.5 14.7 14.5 14.4 14.6 14.9 14.7 14.8 14.2 14.6 15.2

55-64 16.0 15.4 14.8 14.6 13.4 13.3 13.7 13.5 13.1 12.4 12.3 13.1

65-74 17.9 16.9 16.5 16.3 15.3 15.8 15.0 14.4 14.1 13.6 12.6 13.3

75-84 24.9 23.5 22.8 22.3 21.3 20.7 20.0 19.3 19.7 18.3 17.7 17.4

85+ 22.2 24.0 21.9 22.8 23.0 21.6 20.2 20.8 21.0 19.2 19.4 17.5

65+ 20.5 19.7 19.1 19.0 18.1 18.1 17.3 16.8 16.9 15.9 15.3 15.3

Total 12.4 12.2 12.0 12.1 12.0 11.9 11.6 11.4 11.3 10.7 10.7 10.8

**My own personal experiences:**

**My sixth grade year:**

**My friend Steven (He was in eighth grade) was being teased all through middle school on the bus. ****our moms were best friends. We were the closest of friends, he got picked on one to many times on the bus on a Friday. He went home and killed himself, the worst part was that my mom knew. I had to find out in school, the first Monday of sixth grade over the P.A.****that my friend shot himself because they were picking on him.**

**My freshman year:**

**A friend of a friend hung himself in his shower, at 4:30 in the morning, because people were calling him fake on his myspace, because he was using another persons picture. **

**Just last weekend:**

**A friends uncle killed himself, for an unknown reason still. He also hung himself, leaving his three sons and wife to fend for them selves.**

**Suicide effects everyone, it isn't the right way out. It might seem like an easy way out, but think of everyone you could hurt. Talking ot someone is, however the right way to fix things.**

**I know I couldn't force you to read it, but I sincerely hope you did. **

**I will post the next chapter to Hearse Boy and Church Girl (The Gothic and The Gifted) later on, I hope to get some feed back about this.**

**Also I am thinking about creating a second chapter and third chapter (Two different endings.)**

**Check out: I'm Sorry (Goodbye) by ...And Then I Turned Seven**

**Its a great song and has some good information, also.**

**A lot of that information came from www. suicude .com**

**And feel free to share any stories you might have in a review or private message.**


	33. Chapter 11: Happy Birthday, Sort Of

**Chapter eleven, this chapter is skipped ahead from September 22nd**** to October 30****th****. I have made This Eli's birthday, mostly because it's my friends birthday and I'll remember.**

**Also, I had planned on take down the note with the suicide stats and information, but I would really like people to read through it. It is a serious issue and there are more people there than you might think. **

**I will admit I have been in that place, I got help but I was in fact there.**

**So please read it.**

**Last thing before the new chapter, check out A Little Over A Year Ago? Please?**

The final bell rings and I am freed from French 12, I get up and sling my book bag over my left shoulder coolly. I smirk at seeing Clare at the doorway. Adam is standing with her and they are talking, I walk over to them.

"Hey birthday boy," she nods in my direction while talking. I laugh at her. She fake pouts and sticks her tongue out at me.

"Did you want to keep that tongue?" I ask before clicking my front teeth together twice, her right eyebrow goes up.

"Maybe I don't," she tests. Adam makes a gagging sound and I laugh so hard it causes my stomach to feel tight.

"You two make me sick," he jokes with us rolling his eyes into his head. I laugh a little more then clench my stomach.

"So do you have anything planned?" Clare looks at me, questioningly. I almost laugh again, like I would have something on.

"My dad doubled this weeks allowance, that's my birthday everything from him. Oh I almost forgot that he actually said it this morning before I left for school. I figured we'd just hang out." I tell her, I use my index finger and circle it around the three of us.

"Ok, let's do that at my house this time. We haven't hung out there for a while, actually." she offers. I nod taking her up on the offer.

"I'll drive," I joke knowing I was the only one with a car, and for that matter a license. Clare and Adam share a quick nervous glance. "What," I curiously ask them.

"We're going there right away? I thought we'd all go to that park first for a little. I could use a little fresh air." she explains. I shrug my shoulders and we go out to Morty. We get in and I drive us to the park.

"How's the arm," Adam asks Clare as we are walking hand in hand. Clare and I, not Adam and I. I laugh at myself for having that thought.

"It really doesn't even hurt that much anymore, it hurts when I try to use it and put pressure on it. I'm off the painkillers also it doesn't swell too much." she explains to him.

"Well that's good," he starts. "When does the cast come off then?" he adds on after his original statement. She nods to his first part.

"December-" she trails off picking her brain for the date she goes back.

"Twelfth," I say to Adam, she smiles at me.

"Thanks," she looks up. We keep walking around the paths that twist throughout the square mile of park. We walk up to a wooden picnic table and she pulls my to it. I hear Adam groan behind me, I know where this is going.

"You know what this is, right?" she asks me sitting where she was when we first kissed. I place myself where I was while playing Romeo.

"This is where we first kisses, how could I forget?" I ask her leaning in to kiss her, I hesitate waiting for her to start to answer so I could cut her off. She opens her mouth to speak and I kiss her.

"Gag," Adam actually says the word instead of acting it out this time. I laugh into our kiss and pull away from Clare's lips.

"It's my birthday and I'll kiss when I want to,' I joke with him. He mocks what I said in his mom voice. I stand up on the bench quickly before jumping off for dramatic effect. "Run," I laugh and chase after him. I plan on tackling but then feel weird about taking down a girl. I catch up and grab him around the waist and pull my body weight down to the ground he falls to the ground about a foot away from me, Clare runt to us, laughing.

"Are you guys ok?" she asks between fits of laughter. I start laughing too, I look to see what Adam is doing. He pulls his head back on his head and continues to laugh. Clare helps Adam and I up.

"I think I've had enough fresh air," she says sharing a look with Adam and tucking her phone in her pocket. He nods in agreement, I pull me keys from my pocket and twirl them around my finger.

"To your house," I say starting our trek back to Morty. We drive and Clare texts people the whole way. We pull into the wide driveway and we climb out. It looks like no one is here, when we go in the lights are off. She flicks them on and all of our friends jump out. I jump back because I really wasn't expecting anything.

"Nice," I say, "Nearly give me a heart attack on my birthday." I smirk and try to show them I am joking. I kiss Clare's forehead. "I love it," I whisper into her ear. She smiles. Alli, Drew, Jenna, Adam, Clare, and Janie are here. Janie come up to me and hugs me tightly.

"Happy seventeenth birthday," she says to me. I smile and thank everyone for coming. We eat pizza and hang out for an hour or maybe two. I've lost track of time.

"Time for gifts," Clare says getting up, she leads me to a table with everyone following. I sit at her kitchen table and the rest of every one sits around the table.

"Me first," Janie jumps up handing me a small gift bag, I open it and pull the tissue paper out. I feel my face light up when I pull out a Hollywood Undead key chain and a Hot Topic gift card for twenty dollars. I stand and walk over to her, hugging he tight and kissing her cheek. Jenna hands me another gift bag, but a medium sized one. I open it and see that it is a Framing Hanley t-shirt, I say thank you to Jenna and finish opening everything else. I got a Dead Hand CD from Alli and Drew and a Hollywood Undead CD from Adam.

"Thanks guys," I tell them.

"We all shopped together," Adam say. Clare clears her throat, I hadn't expected anything from her since she threw me this party. She hands me an envelope, I give her a curious look and slide the fold out from where it is tucked inside. Two pieces of thick paper are inside, I look more closely and see that they are front row tickets for the Framing Hanley concert on our six month, November twenty second. I walk up to her and hug her tightly.

"You're amazing," I say to her, kissing her more passionately then I ever have before. I hear Adam's typical gag sound and I laugh hard into our kiss. I pull away and Clare's face has turned bright red. I kiss her cheek and laugh at Adam.

"Cake," Clare offers into the group of teens. A few people say things like they are excited. We sit down and she lights the seventeen candles on a round chocolate cake. They all sing to me and when I try to blow the candles out they don't go out. I try again and it still is useless.

"Trick candles, cute," I say to Clare, who with the help of, we blow the candles out together. I laugh at our attempt. The seven of us enjoy cake and vanilla ice cream, before everyone leaves, give Clare and come alone time. We are sitting on her couch and I lean in to kiss her. She kisses back and pushes me back so that I am laying down, deepening the kiss. I put both of my hand on her hips and use my index finger and thumb on my right hand to tug at her shirt hem. Her casted arm is resting on the arm of the couch above my head. Her left elbow is by my shoulder, her hand tangled in my hair. I allow my left hand to slip under her shirt hem and rest on the soft skin of her right hip. My left leg is bent and my knee is touching the back of the couch.

She pulls back a tiny amount and breathes heavily. I sit up and peck her on the lips, she brings her self back down and we restart our passion. Her front door shuts and she cusses under her breath, she pulls off of me and sits back.

"Clare Elisabeth," her mother says, I bite hard into my lip. I avoid eye contact with her mother.

"Mom, you're home early," she stutters mildly. Her mom is glaring at the both of us, my hair a mess and Clare and I breathing like we had run a marathon.

"What was that," she demands, Clare looks as if she is going to cry, and I feel horrible and helpless. I debate on answering her mother for her but decide it might be a bad idea.

"Nothing was going to happen," Clare offers, her mother doesn't look swayed in her opinion of our small act of romance.

"You're right, because I walked in." her mother counters her. I am left defenseless, something that is a new concept to me. I can normally think of something, but not my mind is coming up blank.

"No, mom because I'm not like that." Clare's eyes are filling with tears and I feel even more guilty. I groan at a medium volume.

"Something to add," Helen turns her attention to me, I sigh.

"I do, in fact." I say. She stares at me waiting.

"Care to enlighten me?" she ask. I shaking my head, just to push her buttons, but I don't want her mother to hate me. I love too spend time with her daughter.

"Sure, why not." I stand up. Clasping my hands together and hold them together against my stomach. "You seem to take me for someone I am defiantly not, Mrs. Edwards." I pause, "I am not the kind of guy who is looking to get with a gorgeous girl like your daughter," I look to Clare. "Just to score. I care about her more than, well anything and I respect her values." I say seriously, rolling my shoulders slightly.

"I think that it is time that you left." she tells me, I look to Clare apologetically and gather my various gifts.

"Goodnight," I say before shutting the door behind me. I drive home feeling horrible and as soon as I am there, in my room I get on my computer and hope to see Clare is online, she is.

**Eli-gold49: I'm so sorry, what happened after I left?**

**Clare-e23: She sent me to bed, we're talking about it tomorrow, I guess. **

**Eli-gold49: I really am sorry.**

**Clare-e23: Stop apologizing, you didn't so anything. **

**Eli-gold49: Well I'll let you go to bed so you don't get in more trouble because of me.**

**Clare-e23: Ugh, Eli.**

**Eli-gold49: Let me know if we are still on for tomorrow.**

**Clare-e23: Of course, night..**

**Eli-gold49: Night, beautiful.**

**Clare-e23 is offline**

**So I feel like I am starting to lose touch with the characters, online Degrassi marathon, I think it is needed.**

**What do you think? **

**Also little thing you might find interesting. The Chapel st my school, it's Saint Clare's Chapel.**

**Interesting or Ironic?**


	34. Chapter 12: The Talk

**I almost forgot, well actually I did forget. 150th reviewer was Heyhellohix5**

**Here it is, fresh from my word processor, chapter Twelve.**

**Also I made a mistake so I fixed it and I am just reposting it. I said Jenna instead of Alli. Good call, cglovesdegrassi.**

All trough the night I sleep dreading the morning to come. I sleep until a little after ten, I take as long as possible to get ready for the day. I lay in bed mentally choosing an outfit to wear. When I eventually get out of my bed the cool air of late October, last day in fact, over comes me and I shiver. I pick the clothes I have chosen in my head out of my drawers and closet. I walk around slowly trying to drag out the time before I have to face my angry mother. I take an hour long shower, it calms me down and gives me an extra hour. After I am more than clean, I get out, dry myself, and get my clothes on. I dry my reddish brown curls and brush them into place. Once I have spent more time than I have ever taken on getting ready. I walk downstairs planning to avoid my mother, but she is sitting at the kitchen table.

"Clare," she says as I try to walk by. I look in her direction, she point to the chair across the table. I turn back and sit in it. "What happened last night was unacceptable." she says to me. If only she really knew how often that can happen.

"It won't happen again," I offer and she just laughs.

"You are right, he isn't allowed here anymore when I am not home, also I don't want you over at his house, whether his father is there or not." she tells me. My jaw drops and I stare at her, I feel like I could cry, but I won't give her that.

"Mom, that's not fair," I argue, my eyes welling up with hot tears of anger. "Am I ever allowed to see him?" I ask acting over dramatically.

"Yes, in school and when I am home." she says. I put my head in my hands and let some tears free, I look at her, in the eye.

"What about tonight," I say holding all my tears in.

"What about it?" she asks me quickly, snapping slightly.

"Its Halloween, mom. Eli and I had plans with everyone you said I could go out with everyone and stay with Alli." I snap back. I try to calm down because things had just been starting to settle down here.

"You can go out, I still want you home at eight thirty," I groan to myself. "You also missed church this morning." she informs me. I mentally curse, of course I did.

"Sorry," I apologize. I walk to the fridge and find a banana and to the cupboard for a granola bar. I go back to my room to grab my phone off my bed. I dial Eli's number.

"Hey, there," he answers. I feel bad about telling him this because I know he'll blame himself. I sigh. "Are you ok?" he ask me.

"Yeah, I can hang out tonight, only until eight thirty though. Also, you aren't allowed to be here when my mom isn't home." I pause.

"That's not so bad," he tries to help, I sigh again and feel angry.

"It gets better, trust me." I say, "I am not even allowed at your house. It doesn't even matter if your dad is home or not. Eli when will we ever see each other? School and here when she is home? What about the concert?" I ask in a rush.

"Clare, Clare calm down. We will see each other, hopefully this won't last long. Clare, she won't ruin us." he says to me, trying to create the sense of ease.

"What if it does?" I ask meaning it, he groans in response.

"Let's just be positive and hope for the best, ok?" he asks me. I nod but realize I am on the phone and that I actually have to speak if I want him to know.

"Ok, what time are we all getting together?" I say gathering my clothes for the evening/.

"I was thinking like three and we could go and get something to eat somewhere before we all go get a whole bunch of candy that is just going to make us all sick. I was going to have everyone stay here, but I don't think your mom will go for that right now." he sounds sad about it.

"She might, if I tell her everyone is staying, but it is a school night." I say hopefully.

"I don't know maybe you should stick with what she told you," he says slowly, unsure of himself. I sigh to myself, I know he is right about not wanting to push it.

"I'll just put it out there," I suggest, he groans.

"Just don't get in anymore trouble, I want to see you tonight." he says he sounds concerned,

"Alright, I won't get in anymore trouble, I promise." I start. "I'll call you later, I am going to get ready now to kill sometime." I finish telling him.

"Alright, I love you," he says. every time he says it, I get butterflies, still. He doesn't say it every twenty minutes so it means a lot more when he says it to me.

"I love you too," I say smiling. "Bye," I hang up. I get my dress from the Vegas night off my bed and slip out of my jean skirt and green blouse. I slip into my black dress, I slide on my soft, ruffled, red ankle boot, heels, and my headband. I go to my jewelry box and get out the thin red metal bangles. Further back in the upright bow is the rose necklace on a thin chain, I fasten that around my neck and pull the ring Eli gave me onto my right ring finger. Before doing my make up for the night I go downstairs feeling as positive as my head allowed me to.

"Mom," I say walking over to the couch. She looks up at my from the Sunday paper and she gives me a weird look before remembering it is Halloween.

"Yes, Clare?" she asks me semi sternly. I start to feel less confidant than before, which is strange because confidence is generally natural to me.

"Well, don't say no before I finish," I say and she nods it adds a little confidence "Well after we all go out, Eli was having everyone else stay the night. Everyone would be staying at Eli, Jenna, Alli, Adam who is biologically a girl, Drew, and Eli obviously. I really don't want to be the only one left out. Eli is taking everyone to school in the morning, I mean I lived there for two weeks after all and we never had sex. He knows I wouldn't do that."

"Clare, I just said an hour ago that I don't want you there," she says, my face feels hot from my anger and I almost lose my grip, but I calm myself down.

"Mom, come on I'm not your everyday slu-" I start to argue but she cuts me off by putting her index finger up in front of me. I stop.

"I suppose you have a point about when you had stayed there, so yes you may tonight with everyone there. If I get a call from the schools saying you are late you will be grounded to your room for the next two weeks." she finishes I feel like I could jump up and down but I don't.,

"Thank you mom," I say rushing back to my room. I call Eli.

"Hey, did you talk with your mom?" he asks me right away. I try to act sad.

"Yeah," I exhale the word softly. "She said that we she had just told me an hour ago that I wasn't allowed to be over there anymore," I trail off.

"I'm sorry Clare," he says and I let a giggle I had been holding in loose. I am not as good as keeping my composure as Eli can be.

"She said yes, Eli." I say excitedly. I put him on speaker phone and do my makeup when I finish my makeup we hang up and he heads over to pick me up first. He has his outfit from Vegas Night too, we're going as gamblers because we already had the clothes. When he comes over he stays in the hearse and I run out after saying goodbye to my mom. We make natural small talk as we drive to Alli's house, she comes out in French maids uniform, her dads white truck not in the driveway, I assume neither of then have seen the outfit. Eli helps her into the back and we head off to get Adam and Drew. Adam is dressed as a zombie and Drew is a millionaire, a laugh at the couple idea Drew and Alli use. I laugh even harder when I see Jenna. She is going as a nun, a pregnant nun.

After getting dinner at The Dot, we spend the evening going door to door screaming "trick-or-treat". We finish up after we can hardly manage to carry our bag anymore, and go to Eli's house. Jenna, Alli, Adam and I all go into his bathroom to wash off our makeup, leaving him and Drew alone for a little bit. Jenna and I are done first and go to keep them company.

"What takes you so long?" Drew says when we exit the bathroom, Jenna sits at Eli's desk and I sit next to him on the bed.

"Its hard to wash this stuff all off sometimes," I defend Jenna and I. Eli laughs at me. "Look who is talking Mr. Guy liner," I joke, he smirks at me and kisses my forehead.

"Really?" Jenna asks sounding shocked. I nod trying to hide a smile. He shoves me playfully.

"Yeah," he says, blushing faintly. I love when he does this because it is so unnatural for him to blush. After Alli and Adam are both out of the bathroom we all set up in his room, Drew and Alli sleep to the right of Eli's bed closer to me, and Adam and Jenna sleep two feet apart on the floor to the left of Eli's bed. I fall asleep in his arms, feeling happier than I have been since I last left this spot.

**Ok so this wasn't edited very well, I just finished it and I wanted to make sure I put something up.**

**What did you think of the whole not obnoxious Halloween scene and just a short little piece.**

**Clare's mom is based a lot off of mine sometimes. **


	35. Chapter 13: Halloween Shocker

**So I have the song I Hate College (Remix) By Sam Adams, is stuck in my head. [Foreshadowing Foreshadowing Foreshadowing.]**

During my first class the teacher hands a letter out to all the that students are seniors, also they were offered to any interested juniors.

_Dear Senior,_

_There is a mandatory college fair on Friday, November 5__th__ in the gymnasium. The fair will start at five p.m. All senior attendance will be expected, juniors are welcome to attend and look around for schools. Schools from about Canada will be there, also many from New York will be there. _

_Our apologies for the short notice, see you there._

_Principal,_

_Archibald Simpson._

_I groan and my U.S. History teacher gives me a look. It still confuses me as for why we are even taking U.S. History when we live in Canada. I don't pay much attention to it and continue to read my textbook and answer the questions we have been assigned. When the bell rings I find Clare at her locker._

"_Hey," I smirk at her she smiles turning to face me, bending at her knees a little._

"_Hi, I see you got the flyer too," she says sounding a little down. I cock my head and give her a sideways glace, questioningly._

"_What's wrong, Clare?" I ask her curiously. She smiles again, but it falters in the slightest, most wouldn't notice but I have taken much time in studying her._

"_It just hit me that you are going to be going off to college," she says, sighing a little. _

"_So are you, in a year," I remind her. She nods her head in agreement still not looking like her happy, bright eyed self. She then does something that surprises me, she smiles hugely._

"_Unless," she says, shifting her eyes from side to side mysteriously. Always thought I was the mysterious one, but it was working for her. "What if I graduated this year instead. I already have twenty credit hours out of twenty four that I need." _

"_I have nineteen, you could defiantly do it, I know you could. Only, are you sure your mom would let you? Also, what about Adam and Alli?" I ask her, trying not to get my hopes up for something that could fall to pieces._

"_Well, it would be pointless for me to stay an extra year to only take four credit hours, I think I could convince my mom of that. I know Mr. Simpson would be ok with it. Alli and Adam both have Drew, and Jenna will still be here." she reasons with me. _

"_It's up to you, if you wanted to try that," I put the situation all I her hand so I was not influencing her decision. "What would you want to go to school for anyway, we haven't really talked about this?" _

"_Well I want to either be a teacher and work with littler kids like elementary school level, or I want to be a child physiologist." she informs me. I find it ironic that I have it narrowed down to two things also, little does she know there is a school I have been looking into, out of the country. "What about you?" she asks me._

"_I want to go into one of two things too, criminal justice or forensic science, like become a crime scene investigator." I tell her leaving out my potential school._

"_I should have guessed," she mocks me and my alleged obsession with death. "My boyfriend, also known as 'Death Boy' to a select few, wants to go to school to catch people who murder people." she laughs, at my expense._

"_Hey now," I feign hurt. She laughs even harder and I can't help but join in softly. We are walking to chemistry together when we have just barely stepped into the door way the bell rings, I sigh a sigh of relief. We take our seats and class begins. The entire day drags on and I meet back up with Clare at our lockers when its finally over. _

"_I talked to Mr. Simpson," she says smiling, which is rarely a bad sign for anything. I look at her in anticipation. "He said that he was surprised I hadn't asked any sooner." she say excitedly. I actually smile in response._

"_Now your mom is left," I say toning the mood down a little. And frowns a little, then her face turns to a thinking like face._

"_Will you drop me off there so I don't have to take the bus home?" she asks me, I nod obviously and we head out toward my hearse. The whole drive home she talks about how she will explain things to her mom. I drop her off and go home. When I get in I go to my computer and type in the Hilbert College web address. I go to the "Academics" tab and find the selection "Programs and Majors" they have both of the things I want to go to school for. When my phone rings, I jump before I answer it._

"_Hello," I answer._

"_She said as long as I an=m not just doing it for you and I actually want to get my life on an early track to success," she tells me, making me excited._

"_That's great," I say, I start wondering to myself whether or not I should tell her where I have been looking or not yet._

"_So did you want to come over and hang out until the fair?" she asks me. I had almost forgotten about the fair._

"_Is your mom home?" I ask just in case, I don't need this getting any worse with her mother. She is still giving me weird angry like looks whenever I see her._

"_Yeah, she'll be home until five thirty, so we're fine to be here." before she has hardly had enough time to finish her sentence I am already in Morty, and ready to go._

"_I'll be there in like two minutes." I say hanging up the phone. I go to her house and we hang out there in her living room, where her mom can see us. At quarter to five we leave her house for the school. We are of the first few people to be there so signing in was rather easy. We only stay there for a little while gathering papers from a few schools and we each filled out post card like things saying that we would like more information about the school. We leave there and swing by The Dot for dinner. While we are at The Dot we look through applications. We grabbed some of the same schools and some different ones._

"_What school is that for I don't remember seeing those?" she asks me as I start filling out the paper application I printed out at home for Hilbert._

"_That's because they weren't there," I say like I am admitting to murder. She looks at me, confused. "I printed it up at home, its for a school in New York, my cousin is a freshman there and she really likes it." I explain to her._

"_New York," she says swallowing some of her soup. She looks upset. _

"_Yeah, they have both the programs I want to look into, it's a small campus with, according to her, great dorms." I keep going, I feel excited just talking about it._

"_Oh, what else do they offer?" she asks me, still sounding a little saddened by my news and obvious excitement for the school. I explain to her that I don't know much other than that they offer was I want to go for and she says she wants to look at the site, just to check it out. I tell her that she should, and we leave after we have each filled out three. When we get to her house her mom isn't home so she pecks me softly on the cheek and gets out of Morty, she watches me drive away before going in._

_**So I wrote this last night and it is not edited so sorry if it's messy. :/**_

**_Should Clare graduate eary or no?_**


	36. Chapter 14: Oh, Baby

**So, Here is a somewhat exciting chapter!**

"Hey, Jenna," I answer my phone thinking it was Jenna calling to find out if Eli had brought me to her doctors appointment yet or not.

"Clare?" a male asks me in a frantic voice. I register the voice a minute later to be her brother Kyle's voice.

"Yeah," I pause. "Kyle, where is Jenna? Eli and I are on our way to her doctors appointment." I tell him, I feel a little worried that he has called me. I look to see if we are running late for her eleven o'clock appointment, it's quarter to. We should be arriving in a few minutes.

"Stop, don't go there." he starts. "Jenna is in the hospital, her water broke this morning at ten, she forgot you were meeting her there. She wants you to be here." He tells me.

"Eli, we aren't going there anymore. We have to go to the hospital." I say to Eli before returning my attention to Kyle. "She wants me there?" I ask. Jenna and I have been getting along better than before, but I didn't know she'd want me there.

"Yeah, does that mean you are coming?" he asks, urgency thick in his voice.

"Of course, we should be there in less than ten minutes, tell her that?" I look around outside figuring out where we are.

"Yes, thank you Clare." he says I smile and say goodbye into the phone. I turn to look at Eli.

"Jenna's water broke this morning, she wants me there," I say the word me like I am shocked, which I am, greatly.

"I had a feeling that was what was going on, since I was sitting right here during the whole phone call, you know." he smirks.

"Well it shocked me. I didn't realize we were in such a good place. It's kind of exciting, you know?" I gush to Eli who probably doesn't understand the feeling.

"Honestly, kind of. I don't know why it is so shocking to you, you two have been doing a lot together," he reasons with me, we get into the parking lot and we have to park near the back of the main lot. When we get out I grab the blue and white bag from the floor. I got baby an outfit and planned to give it to her at the appointment today, since we missed her baby shower. We walk hand in hand into the hospital, I walk up to the young man sitting at the desk.

"Can I help you guys?" he asks us with a genuine smile on his face. I can't help but smile back at him, something about him smile and the situation made me happy.

"My friend came in this morning, she's having a baby." I explain to the man. His smile fades a little as he looks at the screen.

"You are a little young, breaks my heart," he says. "Who is your friend?" he asks me, his lisp makes him seem really adorable, he has white teeth and lit up hazel eyes.

"Jenna Middleton." I say automatically. He types in the name on the keyboard and clicks a few things before frowning.

"I'm not really allowed to admit you, only the baby's father family it says," he says, I feel my eyes blink a few times, they feel sad.

"I'm the baby's father, we're dating," he swishes a finger between us. "Jenna doesn't know that yet though, since they are best friends. To be honest it is just a lot of teenage drama." he says.

"You can go in, it's maternity room seven, " he says to Eli, "But you are going to have to stay in here, at least until her brother comes and tells me you are allowed in." he says turning the attention on my. I sigh and sit in a chair near the desk.

"So are you and the baby's dad dating?" he asks me, I shake lightly.

"His name is Eli. The baby's fathers name is K.C. he is my ex, she stole him from me," I add to my mild head shakes. He looks at me so strangely I am taken aback a tiny bit.

"So, you dated the baby's father, and this Eli who I just let in has nothing to do with the young lady in there?" he asks me, I smile.

"Pretty much, Kyle will be out here in a minute saying we can both be in there anyway." I can't help but to laugh a little at him. He lets a chuckle free.

"Clare," Kyle comes up to me. "She's good, sorry I should have told you they would be coming here in a little bit." he says to the attendant at the desk, he shrugs his shoulders and cocks his head to the right towards the hallway. Kyle walks me down to a doorway and opens it for me.

"Clare," Jenna says excitedly, with a solid hint of terror and nerves. She has the typical white gown on decorated with the ugly gray polka-dots. Her face is moist with what I assume is sweat. Her hair is pulled into a tight pony tail.

"Hey, Jenna. How you feeling?" I ask walking over to her. She forces a smile.

"Like crap," she says losing the smile, Eli is sitting in a chair closer to the door and I stand my Jenna putting a hand on hers. She turns it over under mine and holds it tightly. "It just hurts so much, everything just hurts."

"You can do this," I tell her rubbing the back of her hand softly, her face is streaked dried tears and her eyes are glossy.

"I really hope that I can, Clare I know we haven't always gotten along, but I am really glad we have been lately, you are honestly the closest girl friend that I have right now, and I know it sounds obnoxious, but Alli has been so distant lately because of Drew, and you are always willing to talk to me," she confesses to me, my eyes get moist. I smile widely.

"Jenna, I am really glad we got to this point too," I say letting a tear free, she smiles. "I have a question, though." I look at her again, my smile melts away. "Have you tried talking to K.C. yet? Like about the baby, or well today?" I ask her. She shakes her head. A nurse walks in telling her that she is going to check how dilated she is. She tells her she is five centimeters and leaves the room.

"We haven't even talked since I told him that the baby wasn't being aborted." she explains, she seems saddened greatly.

"Do you want me to call him, Jenna, I will. He should be here, whether he wants to be or not, he is the father." I say trying to get her to let me to call him.

"If you don't mind, I would really like him here, maybe then he'll actually want something to do with him." she says tearing up.

"I will call him, I will be back in here in a minute." I say leaving the room. I look through the phonebook in my phone for the number I used to know my heart, and wait for him to answer.

"Clare?" he asks answering the phone.

"Yeah, K.C. It's Clare. We need to talk about Jenna, and the baby." I say he doesn't answer me after twenty seconds, "She's in the hospital, how can you go from saying 'I love you' to ' I want nothing to do with you or our baby' K.C. that is not the person you used to be," Eli comes out of the room to see what I am doing.

"K.C." I yell into the phone, "At least say something to me, don't just ignore me like I'm not trying to talk to you." I say and the line goes dead. I groan loudly, in a semi scream. "Eli, I don't know how to make him see things," I feel like crying. "I am going to just tell her that he didn't answer and I will/ try calling again later." I tell him as I am going back into the room.

**So, yeah? Did you like it?**

**K.C. asshole or scared? What do you think?**


	37. Chapter 15: Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh

**Here is another big chapter!**

Two hours pass as I sit in the hallway outside Jenna's room. I don't understand why K.C. is being this way, you would think that with his family history, or what Clare has told me about it at least, he would want to try to be the best parent he possible could be to the baby. Clare is upset with him which spikes up the hidden jealousy in me, I know she is doing this to help Jenna out. Although it still bothers me, I sit outside Jenna's room and try to burry it again. Clare is alone with Jenna in there right now, she said they needed to talk one on one. Jenna's older brother, Kyle, is sitting next to me outside the door.

"Do you by any chance have K.C.'s phone number?" I ask him boldly, unsure of how he will react to my bringing up the boy who got his baby sister pregnant and then left her. He pulls his phone out and goes through his contacts me hands me the phone and there are three numbers saved under "Guthrie" One is for his cell phone, another his house phone, and a third is his mother's cell phone. I transfer the contact information into my own phone.

"Thank you," I say giving Kyle his phone back, my mind is working in a devious way, that was set in motion when I saw his mom's number. I press call next to his cell phone.

"Hello," he asks sounding confused. "Who is this?" he adds before I even answer his hello.

"K.C. it's Eli," I admit to him. "I want to have a talk with you," I add on.

"What could you possibly have to talk to me about," he snaps at me fast, with somewhat of a calm covering over his words.

"Your kid," I respond, keeping my cool. He groans into the phone. "K.C. this is serious, Jenna is in there in more pain than you could even know, but you would rather leave a helpless baby without a father, so you can be a kid. I know your life isn't perfect, but neither is Jenna's and she isn't being selfish." I feel disgusted with him, but I keep that emotion hidden.

"Eli, you don't know anything," he practically growls at me. I sigh because I do know, a lot of what it is like. " Unless you have lived for years without parents, you have no idea." he spits into the phone.

"Maybe I don't know exactly what you, specifically, have been through, but you know what? My life is no easier than yours, but I'm not a selfish Neanderthal." I spit right back at him, resulting with a dial tone. I groan and Kyle gives me a hopeless look.

"Sorry," I apologize, for what I am not exactly sure. "I have another idea," I trail off. He changes his face from sad to questioning.

"What kind of idea is it?" he asks, intrigued.

"You'll see," I start calling his mothers cell phone. It rings a few times then goes to the voice mail, I sigh and tip my head back, hitting it on the wall accidentally, in defeat. "Maybe you won't," I feel sorry for him, he didn't do anything to deserve this, it isn't his kid. My phone rings making me jump, I only get calls in from Janie, Adam, and Clare normally. I look down and see that it is his mom.

"Hello, Mrs. Guthrie?" I answer the phone.

"Yeah, who is this?' she asks almost sounding terrified.

"This is Eli, a friend of Jenna's," I tell her the truth, I don't want to say a friend of K.C. because that is far from the truth.

"Oh, hello then?" she asks confused.

"Mrs. Guthrie, did you know that she was pregnant?" I ask her, she tone didn't sound like she did seeing as she was so confused by my calling.

"What, no," she says shocked. "Wait, is this some sort of joke? It isn't funny, this is a serious topic." she says sounding semi threatening to me.

"No, it isn't a joke. K.C. never told you?" I ask her trying to lure her into my trap, not trap but way to pull him here.

"No, Eli, are you being honest with me?" she asks me.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Jenna is in the hospital right now, and K.C. broke up with her because she wouldn't kill him." I explain in further detail.

"Him? So, it's his? I never knew he was so shallow," she sounds deeply hurt by all my information.

"It's going to be a boy, it is in fact his," I finish telling her.

"I'll get him there, he said she broke up with him." she still sounds hurt, I smile in victory of getting him here, hopefully.

"Thank you for this," I say before hanging up, I turn back to Kyle. "He'll be here, his mom is making him," I tell him.

"Thank you for doing that, I never would have had the nerve to do that, he's going to be mad," he says to me. I shrug my shoulders.

"If anyone it will be at me, and we're already in the hospital." I say laughing, brushing my seriousness off. "I'm going to go tell them." I says standing up and opening the door. He gets up and follows me in.

"Hey Jenna, how's it feeling." I say smiling a full out smile, trying to make her feel better. Her face is dripping with sweat and she has tears leaving her eyes at a steady pace.

"It hurts so bad," she cries, Clare looks at me her eyes coated with tears herself, Jenna has a gentle hold of her hand.

"The nurse who was just in here said she was nine centimeters dilated, she said she would be back every twenty minutes to check for that last one," she says. Jenna is crying even harder. I go over to her and brush some dampened hair out of her face.

"You are doing great, Jenna. K.C. is going to be coming, with his mom." I tell her she forces a smile. Then it falls into a grimace.

"How did you get him to come?" she asks me, her eyes still pouring tears.

"I called his mom, so he can hate me all he wants, but this is more important than he only hating me a little, I am willing to risk him hating me even more." I stroke her hair. "Clare, what's wrong?" I ask her since her eyes are still filled with tears, but not spilling over.

"I hate seeing her like this, it isn't fair that he has been getting off scotch free." she says. We sit in silence for a little while, only the sounds of Jenna's sobs, she grips tighter at Clare's hand when she has contractions, which were coming faster than they were even leaving. A nurse comes back in and checks her.

"Looks like you are about ready to have this baby, we're going to take you to a delivery room in a few minutes." she says to her, Jenna sighs in what I think is relief, but her face looks even more scared. She nods as the nurse walks out.

"I don't think I can do this," she cries even harder and Kyle puts an arm around her rubbing her right arm comfortingly.

"Middleton's don't give up," he says kissing her sweaty cheek. She breathes heavily, almost panting. Two nurses come in and say that they were taking her to the delivery room and that only two people were allowed in there. I follow them, but sit on the ground outside the room. I sit here for over an hour. I hear some yelling out in the waiting room and I go that way. I see a woman arguing with the man from the desk, K.C. in the background with his arms crossed on his chest.

"Hey, hey, that is the real dad, and grandma, she wants them, like now." I say to the man, he rolls his eyes at me.

"Go," he points. I lead the silent K.C. along with his mother to the outside of her room, she lets out a gut wrenching scream, and its quiet for a little bit. I lean on the wall next to the door and K.C.'s mom stands across the hall, K.C. slid down the wall, sitting with his knees up. The door opens and I see Clare.

"He's here," she says, K.C.'s mom smiles, "Oh," Clare says looking from K.C. to his mom quickly, then to me. "Miracle." she says to me.

"He…" K.C. trails off.

**Baby! **

**So I never asked what you guys thought about the changing point of views, do you like it that way, or not?**

**Also, what 'cha thing of K.C. coming and K.C.'s reaction to "he's here"?**


	38. Chapter 16: A Change In Tides?

**So this is getting pretty amazing, I have almost two hundred reviews and that is crazy to me. You guys are amazing! I have a little survey at the end of this chapter if you wouldn't mind answering some of the questions?**

"He…" K.C. whispers in a questioning tone, my heart skips a beat when I realize he is actually here. K.C. stands up slowly taking a few steps towards me.

"Yes, K.C." I say to him, his face softens from the angry pout he held when I first saw him to a sweet, questioning look. I look fast at Eli, his shoulders rise then fall in two quick motions. K.C. takes three short strides, closing the distance between us. He reaches up and touches the window with the gentle fingers, but the shades are closed blocking his view.

"Would you like to go in?" I ask mostly to K.C. he nods short quick nods. His face is blank now, showing no emotion what so ever. His mother is smiling at me, she nods also. Eli walks in behind me, K.C. hot at heels, same goes for his mom. He stops dead once the door shuts, he stares at Jenna with sad eyes, touched with a hint of apology. He walks a few steps towards Jenna, but stops. She is staring at him, her eyes still wet from crying. In her arms, the pink newborn is wrapped up in a white hospital blanket with green and pink stripes. She stares without blinking until he takes a few more steps. I give his shoulder a little shove and he goes to her side.

He stands at her right, the baby is cradled in her left arm, her right on Jayden's stomach. K.C. looks at the baby, slowly putting his hand on Jenna's. I go and sit in the chair on her left, and Eli stands behind me.

"I love you," he whispers to her tears forming in his eyes, Jenna starts to cry again. She doesn't say anything but looks to him with a smile. He kisses her forehead and sit in the chair on her right side. Eli leans down and kisses the side of my head.

"Why don't we leave them alone for a little while," Eli whispers in my ear quietly. I nod and get up slowly we start to walk out when Eli turns to them. "We're going to go eat, K.C. do you want anything, Jenna?" he asks they both shake their heads.

"I think I will join you," his mother says getting up out of her chair. Eli takes a hold of my hand and we walk silently with K.C.'s mom until we reach the elevator.

"Thank you for calling," she says to Eli, he smirks.

"Its not a problem, really. I am glad you could get him to come," he responds to her.

"Do you know the babies name?" she turns to me. I nod lightly, smiling.

"His name is Jayden Kyle, I don't know what she is going with the last name now." I confess, we hadn't thought K.C. would be around with the baby.

"Well, I guess they can talk about that," she says, I think that she understands that Jenna was planning to use Middleton for the name. we get to the cafeteria and we eat a little.

"So, did she mention why she chose Jayden?" she asks me.

"No, I helped her with the middle name, but I think she just likes Jayden, he looks like a Jayden. Kyle comes from her brothers name. since he supported her through this whole thing," I explain to his mom. I don't even know her name, so I just don't call her anything.

"Jayden Kyle," she says, "I want him to have K.C.'s last name because that is generally how things like this go, well if they ever get married. Then on the other side I don't because Jenna did this on her own and I'm not sure he deserves it at this point. I mean maybe things will work out with them and they will one day they will get married and they can change his name," she says, admitting something I didn't think any parent would actually say about their child. I feel like I like her, because she is honest,.

"I understand that, I actually couldn't agree more," I say, Eli nods his head.

"So how do you guys know Jenna and K.C. just school?" she asks.

"Well, I dated K.C. for a while, then when Jenna moved here we became friends, until she stole him from me. We didn't talk for months, and then school came along and we have some stuff together and we started to talk. Now we are both out of gym and we got closer." I admit to her.

"Wow, I'm sorry." she apologizes for K.C. I shrug my shoulders and look to Eli, smiling. He smirks in response.

"So you two are a couple?" she asks us. I nod, as does Eli. "That's nice, you both seem pretty happy with yourselves.

"We are,' I smile. We talk with K.C.'s mom for w while and then we go back up there. K.C. and Jenna are talking like best friends, and I think they are together again.

**Sorry its so short. **

**So some guy knocked on my door and had me smell my RA's room, because it smells hardcore like weed. **

**I covered for him and said it didn't, he's too cool to get in trouble for that. **

**AIR FRESHENER, Nate, AIR FRESHENER.**

**Ha, survey time:**

Do you have any hidden talents?

What was your favorite childhood injury?

What is your earliest memory?


	39. Chapter 17: Concert

**So sorry about yesterday, it was a long day, I am really sorry I didn't update.**

"Hey, are you ready for me to pick you up?" I ask Clare through the phone. I have tight black jeans on, the Framing Hanley t-shirt Jenna got me for my birthday, and a black blazer on. I am sitting in my room doing the little last minute things I have to do before the concert.

"Whenever you are ready, I can't believe my mom is letting me do this," she says excitedly.

"Clare, I really can't either. Make sure you call her like eight times so she knows we are being responsible." I say. I finish packing my over night bag.

"I know, I will I have every call planned out, really." she makes me laugh, mostly because I believe she really had every call already mapped out on her head, from when to what she will even say t her mother.

"I am sure you do, is everything packed for the night?" I ask her. I throw my bag in the back of Morty. "I'm leaving now," I saw turning the key in the ignition.

"Alright, my mom wants you to come in so we can all talk about things before we leave, if that is ok?" she asks me.

"Of course, see you in a few." I hang up the phone. I drive to her house and knock on the front door, her mother smiles when letting me in. She leads me to the living room and I sit on the couch next to Clare.

"Ok, Eli, Clare, you both know how big this is," she says to us. I nod, as does Clare. "Ok, well I want you to call me when you get there, and when you get back to the hotel after the concert." she says seriously.

"You have my word, Mrs. Edwards." I promise her. She smiles a nervous smile. Her right leg is bouncing up and down, rapidly. She has a box or something in the right pocket of her suit coat, it makes me curious.

"Look, I know you guys have said you haven't done anything, but this is a big step in your relationship," she starts. Clare begins to protest, but her mother cuts her off with her right index finger. She uses the same hand and reaches into her pocket and pulls out a white paper bag, most likely from a pharmacy. She hands it over to me, "Just in case," she says motioning for me to look inside the bag. I unfold the two folds at the opening and peer in the bag. I feel my eyes widen and my heart skips a few beats, I choke on my words. Clare takes the bag from me and her face turns bright red.

"Mom, we don't need this," she calmly say to her mother.

"Take them, call me when you get there." she stands up and walks to the door opening it for us. She motions with her arm for us to leave. We walk out the door saying our goodbyes, we pull out quickly and I follow the directions I printed from Google maps closely.

"That was," I pause, "Unexpected, strange, awkward, do you have anything to add?" I ask slightly freaked out. Clare doesn't respond, she is sitting in the seat with the small bag in her lap, held in place with her hands. Her focus is out the window at the passing scenery. "Clare," I try to get her attention. She turns her head slowly to me, like I just snapped her out of a trance.

"Sorry, I was day dreaming," she apologizes. "What were you saying?" she asks, shaking her head free of the day dreaming in her mind.

"Your mom, and how what she did was strange, unexpected, and awkward." I repeat myself. I laugh a little, but is a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, it was. I'm not to worried about it, let her think what she will. I know I am not ready, and I guess I will know when I am," she states, I agree with her, completely.

"I know you aren't, trust me, you'll know." I assure her. Inside I am dying for that day, but I can wait as long as she needs, I don't need anyone getting hurt, whether its myself or her. We keep driving talking about a few things, Clare made a call to see how Jenna was doing with the baby. She even talked to K.C. for a little bit, it frustrates me, but I just drive. We stop at four for something to eat for dinner, we are close to the Holiday Inn Express we are staying in for the night. We sit inside the McDonalds and eat chicken nuggets with fries. After we finish eating we dive the half mile to the hotel, we get out and go in.

The automatic doors shut behind us and a girl of about twenty snaps her head up to see us, a smile wide on her face.

"Hi, I'm Jamie. Checking in?" she says happily,.

"Yeah, it's under Goldsworthy." I tell her. I pull my credit card out of my wallet. It's in my dads name, but it's my money, I hardly ever use it.

"It says you are staying one night, does that sound right?" I nod, she gives me a paper to sign, and hands me two room key cards, I hand one to Clare who is staging silently. She stares into the fake fire place, that is quite mesmerizing.

"You're in 420 there is an elevator right to your left," she says holding her smile, some of her long black hair is pinned up in a barrette at the top of head. The company shirt is a sky blue, with a name tag pinned to it. We go outside and grab the bags from the hearse and take them to the elevator. Clare steps in first and presses the "four" button our room is close to the elevator. I unlock it and we go in. The room is set up with a large bed in the middle, the TV is a about two feet away from the foot of the bed.

"Here we are," I say putting my bag on our bed, she does the same, smiling. I feel even more excited when I look at the clock. Its quarter to five and I get our tickets out of where I put them in my bag.

"My mom is really letting us to this," she says still sounding shocked. I think back to the bag, which I see still in her hand. I walk up to her slowly, I take the bag from her and pull out the thin box. I crinkle the bag in my hand. I toss it in the garbage. I open the box and pull out the three pouches from inside. I hold them in my left palm, using my right to find my pocket knife in my right front pocket. In my jeans. I open the knife and stab one through the center with it, I gently toss it aside into the trash. I take the second and cut it in half, I throw it with the other in the trash.

"Eli, stop." she takes the last one from my hand. "Let's just get going," she says excitedly. I shrug my shoulders and grab our tickets I slip the last pouch in my wallet, with no intentions of using it. I get everything we need for the concert and we leave the hotel. We get to the venue, and we're up close in the line to get in. The doors open at five thirty.

"I saw you slip it in your wallet," she says to me.

"Clare, it's just there, it's not there to get used right now, or anytime soon actually." I explain. She looks up to me.

"I know, I was just saying that I saw, I didn't think you knew I did." I didn't think she saw it, but I shrug it off.

"I didn't, doors are opening, let's go." I say smiling she takes my hand and wraps her fingers around mine. We get in and take our front row seats. We wait until six for them to start the how and it seems like it goes by in a blink of an eye, but it has been four hours, they all run off stage. I look at Clare and can't help but smile, she was crazy tonight, she danced like there would be no tomorrow. She knew a few songs from car ride where I played them, so she sang along with those. Tonight was the best, its all I can think about the whole car ride to the hotel. When we get back everything is quiet and Clare is asleep in the front seat. I shake her lightly to wake her.

"Back already?" she says smiling, she gets out and we go to the room for a real good nights sleep for the coming day.

**Ok, so question: anyone have siblings?**

**I have two little brothers, one is ok. The other makes me want to break things though.**

**That one is the reason I didn't upload yesterday, I was busy cleaning up after him. I despise babysitting. He's fourteen, and he acts like he is six.**


	40. Chapter 18: The Guilts No Good

**.. Was my 200****th**** reviewer, so thank you all for getting me so far!**

**Daily updates are way too much for me to handle right now. I am writing right now, while I should really be writing a paper. Two, two page papers. I'm watching Fatal Beauty (15 Most Dangerous Women) And You will see this is chapter nineteen! **

**Also I ended the last one fast because I had a paper to write, so I am going into it this little more.**

As the venue clears of people I hold fast to Eli. Don't go anywhere and wait for most of the others to clear out. We lean along the stage and wait for the crowd to dwindle. When the masses subsided we started for the gates. We get outside of the gates we pulls me into him.

"Thank you, Clare," he says kissing me passionately, this happened less and less these days. We had been extra careful around public, but anytime private was absolutely impossible. He pushed me into outside the center, pressing himself into me. I smile into our kiss and it deepens. I laugh, for an unknown reason and he pulls away laughing too. We walk out to his car and head back to the hotel, we beat some of the traffic. We still manage to take an hour to get back to the hotel when it only too us half an hour to get to the venue, with traffic. Eli talks after then I can hardly comprehend what he is saying half the time he talks.

We pull into the parking lot and I get out after he shakes me to full awareness. I get out and sleepily walk into the hotel with him. We get up to our room and I look to the bed. I bite my lip, nerves building up in my stomach. I think about the condom he slipped into his wallet.

"Come here, Clare." he says, planting himself on the king sized bed. I walk to him with short strides, I smile to him and step into reach of his arms. He pulls me into him, I bend and kiss him. I feel him arms tighten around me as he pulls his back to meet with the bed. My body follows his, using my knees on either side of his body, to hold my weight up.

"I love you," I say between our passion. I feel him smile into our next strong kiss and I smile back. He shifts below me and before I know it, my back is on the bed. I feel his left knee on the inside of my left thigh he brings his face down to mine.

"I love you too," he says kissing me. He entangles his fingers on his left hand in the hair above my temple. He moves his mouth from my lips to my jaw line, kissing it tenderly. He places another kiss near my era lobe, then one on my neck. He sends chills down the center of my spine, I feel my back arch slightly and I shutter lightly. I put my right hand on his left hip. I slide my hand slowly to his back pocket, slipping my fingers inside. I feel the soft leather of his wallet and caress it smoothly. I try and tug it out of the tight pocket, mostly succeeding. His hand leaves my hair and lands on top of my own, he removes the wallet the rest of the way. I wasn't sure of what I had planned when I had started pulling out the wallet, but now I know even less. "Clare," he moans, in a warning tone. He knocks it out of my hand a few feet away on the floor. He continues to hold our kiss and without breaking our lips apart for a second. I feel a rush of adrenalin when I hear the leather meet the carpet. I pull away for a chance to breathe. He pulls himself off of me and lays on his back. He breathes in heavily.

"Maybe we should go to bed," he suggests. I sigh for two reasons, one because I couldn't catch my breathing up to normal, and two because he wanted to stop. "Clare, come on." he counters my sigh.

"Fine, we'll just sleep," I say.

"Clare I know you don't want to," he accuses me.

"I do," I confess for the first time in the open.

"Really," he asks shocked, yet calmly. He rolls onto his side and looks at me, I do the same. I look deep into the green pools he has for eyes. I nod and he kisses my forehead.

"Yeah, but I just thinking about it makes me nervous. I know I am curious about it, but I know I should wait for at least a little longer." I explain he leans in again and places a soft kiss on my nose.

"Well, we'll wait until you really are ready. I am willing to wait forever for you." another kiss falls on my face, this time at my lips. "Bed time," he whispers softly. I roll over and let him wrap his arms around my waist. I feel happy as I fall asleep in his warm arms.

**Ok, so I know, I suck. I haven't updated in forever. I am sooo busy here it isn't even funny. So keep the reviews going they are the reason I just did this rather than my paper. Go ahead tell me ho much you hate me. it's ok. This chapter was short and I have zero time to edit it so if it looks like someone wrote it at midnight, you wouldn't be far off. I mean I was doing homework, but for an example of how boring my homework is: My friend Sam, he passed out an hour ago on my floor doing it.**


	41. Chapter 19: College Visits

**New deal at the end it's up to you. **

**Still a little shorter than they were, but it's something.**

**Also the news cast in here, it real. Just different place and names.**

I wake up thinking about what happened last night, Clare shifts in my arms. I sigh and try to sleep for a little longer. I fade in and out of sleep and I get up out of bed around eleven. Clare looks up at me as I stand at the foot of the wide bed.

"Morning," she whispers, sitting up slowly. I smirk.

"Good morning," I laugh. She smiles and climbs out of bed, herself. She walks sleepily to me. I wrap my arms around to the small of her back. "Sleep well," I whisper, kissing her temple.

"Yes," she stands on her toes a little to kiss me. "How long do we have until we have to leave, and when do we have to be there by?"

"We have an hour until check out time, then we have to be at the school by one thirty." I say, excitedly. "Until then," I say clicking the television on.

"_Mother dumps two young children in lake outside of Buffalo, New York. A mother of two young children, a boy and a girl, drives down to Lake Erie, get out of her car, putting it in neutral. She allows the car to submerge into the cold fall water. She then calls 911 twenty minutes later reporting her crime. _

"'_I just drove my car into the lake, on purpose. My kids are dead inside.' she confess to a 911 dispatcher. The green SUV was pulled from the water an hour ago revealing a baby girl and toddler boy strapped in their car seats, dead. Three year old, Noah and one year old, Madison's father was called to the scene before the car was even pulled. _

"_The distraught father reportedly said 'After a six month custody battle, she gained custody of both our children, and now they're gone.' Motive remains unknown at this time. The children's mother has been taken to the holding center behind town hall."_

Clare clings to my left arm staring at the television in horror.

"That's horrible," she sobs into my shoulder. "How could someone kill their kids," I rub her arm with my right hand.

"I don't know," I say, reaching for the remote. I turn the device off and return my hand to her, shifting my body towards her allowing her to lean into my chest, I can feel her sobs lightening up. I let her dry out all her tears and we get ready to head out. I look at the directions I printed up. The drive from the hotel to a pizza joint called Bozanaza's, and to the school from there. We go to the front desk to check out, and we go to get some lunch. We get to the restaurant and order one slice of pepperoni pizza, each. We sit in a plastic booth and wait for our food.

"Here you are," a blonde waitress says putting a slice in front of each of us. She puts two cups down on the end of the table and point to her left. "Drinks are up there," she smiles and walks away. I stand up taking both cups in my hands.

"Pepsi?" I ask her, she nods. I get us drinks and sit back down, I finally take a look at the pizza I had been given. You can hardly see the cheese through the thick blanket of pepperoni. I start to pick some off to eat, while the slice cools down a little. We eat our pizza and get back into Morty. I take a right out of the parking lot, and another right when we get to the intersection. Finally I take one last right and head straight down the road where the school is, turning left into the parking lot. Dead ahead there is a pond with two fountains in spraying water up into the air, I turn left at the end of the drive was and park in an empty space. We get out and head toward the building behind the pond, a blue and white sign signifying that we were at the right building, Franciscan Hall, stands outside a door. We step in and there are a bunch of people there.

"Hi," a thinker girl approaches us, she has blue eyes and medium brown hair. She smiles. "I'm Sophie, are you here for a tour?" she asks us. I nod.

"Yeah, we're from Degrassi, Canada." Clare adds.

"Great, follow me. I will conduct your tour, today." she says. She leads us out the doors in the front, the ones we came in before. "Ok, well this is Franciscan Hall, it's full of offices of professors, you can also find the financial aid office inside." She waves a hand over towards the glass fronted building.

"Next, is Swan Auditorium and Paczesny Hall, we enter a building and she lets us look inside the auditorium, we then take a long hall which and she points out little things. We walk through a glass tunnel.

"We just entered Bogel Hall, these two are where all our classes are held. Now I will take you to the residence areas." we walk outside the main doors of Bogel Hall. "That is the library, in between there is the gym, and right here is the Campus Center." she says pointing each building out on our right. Clare taps my arm and points to a sign a few feet a head.

"Saint Clare Chapel," I read out loud.

"Yes, this is our chapel." Sophie tells us.

"I'm named after Saint Clare, spelled the same and all." Clare tells Sophie.

"Oh, that's ironic," she laughs. We walk past the Chapel and the Campus Center. She points to a long building. "Those are the older dorms, Saint Joseph's Hall." we pass by. "Those four buildings are our apartments and this is Trinity Hall, the newer dorms. This is where I am living this year." she says as we stand out front of a three story building.

"Do you like it here?" I ask her as we walk back towards the Campus Center.

"Absolutely, I love it here, I'm not from too far away," we reach Franciscan Hall and she gives us paper work and other things to take back home with us. When she finally finishes with her tour, she tells us that she hopes to see us next year. I smile and nod. Clare says goodbye. We set on our trip back home.

**Ok, so I have something I wrote over the summer, it's kind of personal. So If you want to read it, leave a review asking about it, I can send it to you, it's cute…ish. **

**Also the deal mentioned at the top: Well I have a lot of trouble managing time to write this, so I think I have to switch to either weekly(biweekly?) updates instead. Or. I can stop it all together and wait until I have time to write…**

**Up to you. ****J**


	42. Chapter 20: Giving Of Thanks

_**Hello everyone. I feel horrible right now. I used to update everyday, and now like once a week, at most. I really am trying, but my schooling comes first, though I wish I could lay around all day and write. **_

_**ALSO TODAY IS CANADIAN THANKSGIVING!**_

_**I logged on today for the first time in a could days.**_

_**I am making time to write because of everything I saw.**_

_**I have almost 150,000 hits, which is BIG.**_

_**Also, I have almost 250 reviews. **_

_**89 Favorites, and 104 Alerts.**_

_**I am really happy about that, so here is an update.**_

_**Sadly this is the last chapter.**_

_**I don't know if I will write more or not, for this story. **_

_**I walk through my yard and the smells of fall turning to winter swarm around outside. I rake up the leaves on the ground in my front yard and fill garbage bags, setting them along the inside of the garage. I enter my house through the door in the garage and I'm engulfed with scents. The turkey is cooking slowly in the oven.**_

"_**Clare, can you help me with the rest of dinner?" my mother asks, calling to my from the kitchen. I push some bangs from over my eye.**_

"_**Coming mom," I yell back to her. I walk into the kitchen.**_

"_**You're on potato duty for now. Can you just peel and cut them?" she looks at me and laughs at herself. "Maybe not," she hands me a bowl.**_

"_**Sorry, mom." I apologize for the lack of use in my bad hand. I take the clear glass bowl to the table and sit down, getting the elements to the perfect pie filling, from around the kitchen. **_

"_**It's fine honey, when is Eli coming over?" she asks me, she has cooled down a lot since the minor incident. Letting us go to the concert, stay over night together in a hotel, and the do the college visit, was the best decision she could have made. We showed her we could handle it, and she showed us that she was gaining her trust in Eli back. **_

"_**Anytime now, he offered to help prepare," I say, without stating the reasons we needed help. In my head I was thinking of two things, Darcy's gone, and now dad's gone. I sigh to myself, dad and Darcy. I haven't even spoken ti either in over a month. **_

"_**Mom, do you care if I go do something really fast, then come back and help, before Eli gets here?" I ask her, hoping she says yes, and she does. "Thank you," I say walking off towards the stairs. I make my way up the stairs at a quick pace. I sit down at my computer and start to think of what to even say to Darcy, as my email loaded.**_

"_**Hey Darcy, it 's been a while. it's Thanksgiving and your not being here leaves a veil of sadness over the holiday festivities. I am trying to help mom get everything ready, but my cast in quite inhibiting. Eli is coming over in a little bit to help out with everything. Getting everything ready with half the force as two years ago, is more than difficult. I know you probably don't know this, but when are you coming home, even for a visit? I really miss you. I also really want you to meet Eli, things are getting really serious. I wish you were around to help me though. Well I should probably go help mom finish everything up, everyone is coming over in about an hour. I love you, hope to see you soon, Clare."**_

**I click send, then turn the computer off. I go back downstairs to find Eli sitting at the table stirring the ingredients for the pie together in the glass bowl.**

"**Hey," he smiles up to me. He keep stirring the contents of the bowl and I pour in the sugar.**

"**Hi," I giggle. He finishes mixing the creamy pumpkin pie filling and dumps it into the pan coated with crusts. I take a rubber spatula and smooth over the top. I carry it to the oven and slide it in. By now my mom has successfully mashed the potatoes. Everything is cooking and my mom continues to tend to it. Eli and I watch TV for half an hour, until my grandparents arrive at my front door. Eli, dressed in a thin black tie, a white button up, and tight black jeans, answers the door. My grandparents give him a confused look, not knowing who he is. **

"**Hi, grandma, grandpa," I say giving then their respective hugs. "This is Eli," I say linking my arm around his. They smile, my grandfather offers his right hand, Eli shakes it. I take his coat and my grandmothers, as I start to head off to the rack in the living room to hang it, when I see her pull Eli into a hug. I smile brightly. My grandfather goes into the kitchen to get the turkey to carve it, the rest of us sit at the table. Once the turkey is set on the table my grandfather takes a seat at the head of the table, clasping his hands together and bowing his head we all follow suit, even Eli. **

"_**Our Father in Heaven, We give thanks for the pleasure of gathering together for this occasion. We give thanks for this food prepared by loving hands. We give thanks for life, the freedom to enjoy it all and all other blessings. As we partake of this food, we pray for health and strength to carry on and try to live as You would have us. This we ask in the name of Christ, our Heavenly Father."**_

**A short chorus of "Amen's" follows and my grandfather serves us our meal.**

**I know it's short, but I tried.**

**So, about another part. I will continue, I would love to, but only if you agree. **

**If I do continue, however, I will write a few chapters before posting anything. **

**Sooo, lemmme know?**

**Also, a reviewer didn't log in or doesn't have an account, I am curious if I know you. I am from Buffalo, and my mom works at the hotel they stayed in.**

**Who are you? Shannon?**

**This is the review:**

"**i'm from buffalo new york. haha! i live around where you meantioned. i love bozanna's. ahaha! i had to share that with you(x haha! you're like amazing at writing. you're by far my favorite fanfic. keep it up(: ...for my sake. Haha!"**


	43. Hey There

Hey everyone,

I as planning to write the first chapter of the third part of Hearse Boy and Church Girl today, but it really hasn't been my day. I am going to try and write it still, but I don't really know if that will happen.

Venting session:

So class registration stated today, last night my advisor informs me that she wouldn't be here today, so the classes I picked out to take (most ideal and gives me some time to actually sleep.) are filling up, she pushed my appointment to Wednesday, and I was just informed the class a few of my friends signed up to take, is full. Great, so 8 a.m. morning for me. So if I like…never update anything, blame her.

Also, ever had a friend that whenever they need you, you are there in a blink of an eye? Yeah, me too. How about, have you ever had that friend not want to waste their time to talk to you when you need them? Yup, me too. Trying to figure things out is easier with someone else, right? Well, note to self: Doing this on my own sucks.

Funny you guys listen better than my "friends", or so I assume since if you didn't read all of that ^ you wouldn't be reading this part, ehh?

Venting session, end.

So, yeah. Thanks.

Oh yeah, help with a title for this part?


	44. Chapter 1: A New Clare

**So congratulations are in order to, crazyangelz15 for being review 251, since 250 wasn't signed in.**

**This morning I turned on my computer and started to write when I noticed a book sitting among one of my brothers school things. The book looked oddly familiar, from ten feet away. I could tell by the size, shape, and style of it that is was an Ellen Hopkins book. In the dim light of early morning it looked like Identical, which has a silver cover. When I went up to it and took a closer look at it, I was proved wrong. I was, in fact, the third and final book in the Kristina series, Fallout. Shortly after I had my brother up, showered, dressed, and fed I started to read, about quarter to noon. I have successfully read the entire book within seven hours.**

**Ellen Hopkins is, by far, my favorite author, and I highly recommend all of her book. Though I think very highly of her book, I recommend them for teenagers over fifteen, for suggestive themes. **

"Ready Clare?" I call up her stairs, her mother just let me in, Clare had asked me if I would be the one to take her to get her cast taken off, finally.

"I'm coming, sorry," she yells down the stairs from her room. I feel a little more home-like in her house, with the Christmas decorations giving the sense of happiness in their house. Thirteen days until Christmas. Though their family was still falling to bits, slowly, they were both trying now. Clare rushes down the stairs and nearly collides with me, she kissed my cheek.

"Sorry," she giggles, then turns to her mom, "Bye, see you later." We leave the house, getting into Morty.

"So, the Christmas decorations look nice," I compliment her. She smiles, warmly. Smile in response to her seemingly happy aura.

"Thanks, my mom and I did that last night, together." She smiles again, but it falters lightly. I sing internally.

"Clare, I know we haven't really talked about this in a while, but how is everything with that, you know mom, dad, home?" I ask knowing I am treading hot waters even bringing it up.

"Well, you know I haven't seen my dad since that one day. My mom and I don't talk about anything involving that. Home, is much better when you are over, even if all doors must stay open." she turns to me as she finishes explaining. I turn the steering wheel so that I am parked neatly in a spot at the local medical center.

"Maybe we should take a ride up and see him," I suggest once we have climbed out of Morty. She gives me a nervous glance. I step to her and wrap an warm around her waist, she looks up at me and smiles, but it falters when she looks at the ground. "We don't have to," I add at the end. Our eyes connect once again, but for only a short time, again.

"I don't know," she sighs lightly.

"It's fine, we'll just go eat or something." I say, brushing off the previous idea. She remains silent for about a minute, but I can feel her breathing. We pass through the automatic doors of the center and approach the nurses station.

"Can I help you," a woman, about the age of twenty two, asks Clare and I.

"We're here for her to get her cast taken off," I respond, Clare remains silent, holding fast to my belt loop, the warmth of her arm slightly gives me tingles.

"Ok, name?" she questions. I give her Clare's name and answer all of her other questions, she has Clare sign a sheet, then asks us to take a seat.

"Eli," Clare whispers, putting a warm hand on my knee. I look at her, cocking my head questioningly. "We can go," she whispers. I smile. Kissing her temple softly.

"Clare Edwards," a doctor calls from the door way, I stand before she does, extending a hand. She takes it and we walk to the doctor. "Hi, so we're just having that sucker taken off?" He says, grabbing Clare's encased wrist.

"Yep," she says, nodding with a smile on her face. We follow him to an open room with five stations. Each station contains several devices, a cot, a stool, and a curtain that closes the area off from the rest. He leads us to the station with the number two painted on the wall above.

"Ok, Clare I will explain how the process works briefly before going ahead and doing it." he says before launching into a description of how they use a saw to remove the cast. Once he finally removes her cast, he took x-rays of it once again. He reports that her bones have healed, fully and correctly. We are back in Morty by time the clock hits two p.m.

"So lunch, then to see your dad?" I ask as we're buckling up.

"What if I were to ask my dad to meet up with us somewhere?" she counters my question.

"Even better, where to?" I smile at her emotional progress.

"The Dot," she says before making the phone call to her dad. By the way her conversation he agrees, but reluctantly once my name is mentioned.

**Ok so it is too late for me to be continuing, so I will leave it as this, I know it is super short. I am really sorry. I hoped that maybe you guys would be happy with this over nothing, so let me know how you are feeling? And if you've read any of her books? Crank. Glass. Fallout. Burned. Impulse. Identical**. **Tricks.**


	45. Chapter 2: Little Critter

**So, I wrote this in English. I have noticed that I have been losing readers, so I am putting it into to hyper drive with this story.**

"Clare, Eli, thank you guys so much." Jenna squeals excitedly. "It means more to me than you will ever know, really." she finishes.

"Jenna, it's no problem. He's a little angel. Now, if you don't leave soon you will be late for your show, this is a big opportunity for you." I say, pushing her to toward my front door. Jayden sleeps silently in his carrier car seat. Jenna walks over to him, keeping her heels as quiet as possible. She places a light kiss on his peach fuzz covered forehead.

"Goodbye baby, thanks again guys," she says shutting the door behind her. Jayden stirs and fussed a little, but stays asleep. I look to Eli, who looks extremely nervous.

"It's fine, he's already back asleep." I say placing a hand on his knee. He adds his own on top of mine, I lean my head towards his and he mocks my movements. Our lips connect in love, lust, and compassion. As the connection grows stronger, Eli pushes me back, onto my couch so that I am laying down. One hand in my hair, the other along my side supporting him with his elbow. I know what we are doing is wrong, with Eli just gaining my mothers trust back and all, but she won't be home for hours. His right hand tugs painlessly at my hair, my own right hand on his hip. I keep my left lightly on the side of his face. I feel happy here, with Eli. I smile, and I can feel his lips do the same.

His fingers untangle themselves from my hair, and wrap around my hip. My skin tingles where his heated hands touch. Butterflies form in the pit of my stomach as his hand brushes over it. His lips leave mine, drawing a line along my jaw, the travels to my neck, bringing the butterflies fluttering back. His thumb moves back and forth on the side of my stomach causing the tingles to increase, but not to tickle. I gasp into his mouth which found its way back to mine.

He laughs, in response to my nervous gasp. I allow a giggle to escape me, partly out of nerves the rest from embarrassment when he unbuttons the bottom button on my floral button shirt. He once again removes his lips from mine, tracing along my jaw line. He places a warm kiss on my neck causing me to jerk my head back, he stops to take a look up at me raising his eyebrows, and another button is undone leaving me exposed from an inch above my belly button to my waistline created by my light blue jeans.

Jayden cries, and Eli groans in what seems like annoyance. I slide out from under him and start to re-button my shirt, by time I'm done, he had fixed his hair and is already crouched down by the baby. I run my fingers through my hair, and fix the mess of it up. Eli lifts Jayden out of the seat, bringing him to his chest, rocking and bouncing him lightly. I watch him closely.

"Shh," he coos, "What do you need?" he asks the crying baby. I look down to the diaper bag, debating on how to get it.

"I got it," I walk over grabbing the bag, I set it on the arm of the couch and think about what he might need. "What do you think, food or diaper change?" I say looking at Eli. He looks just as confused as I know I am.

"Maybe we should try seeing if he is hungry first?" he suggests, making a grossed out face. I laugh, and head to my kitchen with the bottle with the formula already measured into it. I do as she told me to, add water to the line and put it in the microwave for thirty seconds, cover, shake, and test it on my wrist. A minute later, Jayden is in my arms suckling in the bottle, no more tears. Eli stands up and puts his coat on, I give him a curious look.

"I, uhh, have to go." he comes up to me and bends down and kisses my forehead, and leaves. I start asking myself questions. Did I do something? Was is because Julia was pregnant and that baby was never born so he feels bad with Jayden? Was it what happened on the couch?

I continue to ask myself what happened that made him get up and go so quickly. Jayden starts to fall asleep in my arms, I lay him in his car seat carrier and pull it up next to the couch. I turn on the movie P.S. I Love You, and lay down, draping and arm over the side to rock Jayden in his carrier. Jayden falls asleep, and I soon do so myself.

**There it is, chapter two. What did you all think, well what is left of you? **

**Also, I have something BIG in store. :)**


	46. Chapter 3: Coming Out Of A Shell

**So I know a couple of you were a little confused as to why Eli just ran out like that. Well it is explained in here.**

**WARNING: It's a long one : ) **

I bend down and kiss her forehead, then walk out as quickly as I can. Don't look back, I tell myself. I shut the door and hustle to get into Morty. I turn the key in the ignition and pull out of her driveway. I feel guilty driving down the road, knowing I just left her alone with Jayden, who is only four weeks old. I bite my lip and try to focus on the road, hoping she will allow me to come back without making me explain myself.

In my thinking I almost pass the driveway. I pull in and beep the horn, two short times. I see Janie step out of her front door, her mother waves at me from the window, I fake a smile and wave back. Janie gets in and I pull out. After we are a mile or so away and I haven't said a word, Janie finally speaks up.

"Ok, spill. What's wrong?" turns in the seat to look at me.

"I walked out on Clare, leaving her with the baby." I sigh. "I feel like an ass, I didn't even say anything. I just said I had to go and, well, left." I mutter out.

"Eli, when Christmas comes she will understand, its only a week away. We'll just make sure this is extra special." she smiles at me, I pull into a parking spot and we both get out.

"Also," I start, knowing I don't want to continue. She flashes her big brown eyes in my direction, Julia flashes into my head. "Clare and I went farther than we ever had." I say quickly.

"You guys didn't," she allows to slip slowly from her lips, cutting herself off.

"No, but if Jayden hadn't cried, I don't know if we would have been able to stop. It's like you get so pulled in, you just can't stop, she is addicting." I say quickly, mildly freaking out. I breathe heavy, trying to calm down, but I can't. "I don't want her to die, too," Janie grabs my shoulders, shaking me.

"We won't let that happen, Eli. Just keep yourself prepared, and keep your focus on her promise. How far is 'As far as we ever have'?" She says.

"We were just kissing, but then something came over me and before I knew it I was on top of her, she didn't push me away so I started kissing her neck and she responded to that, lets just say buttons were undone." I pause. "What if I can't stop?" she pulls me into her, I wrap my arms around her small body. I feel hot tears run down my face, I push her away, harder than I mean to and she stumbles back. "Eli," she demands sharply. I exhale deeply looking up at the cloud covered sky.

"Janie, I'm sorry." I start to apologize. "Sometimes being around you is," I pause, "Difficult." I finish, she looks apologetic.

"I know what you mean, every time I look into the mirror, I see her, I feel her, I miss her." she whispers, tears streaking her face black from makeup. I laugh. "What could you possible find so funny?" she letting a laugh free.

"Look at us, standing in the middle of a parking lot, crying. Crying about a person we should be celebrating that she was here, not be crying about because she's gone." She laughs just as loud much as I am.

"We're ridiculous," she grabs my hand and pulls me towards the entrance of the store. We walk in and we are not instantly greeted, but stared at. I sniffle and wipe my tears with my left hand, Janie does the same with her right, smearing the black streaks across her cheeks. Our hands are still intertwined as we approach a sales person.

"Hi, I'm buying a bracelet for my girlfriend for Christmas and I don't even know where to begin." I explain to a man who appears in his twenties.

"Ok, lets start out with your color," he says looking at Janie, who shakes her head.

"Oh, no I'm not his girlfriend," she says quickly, letting go of my hand. The guy looks seriously confused. "It's a long story, but my twin sister was killed in a car accident and he was dating her, now we're are like the same person. He is my best friend, I suppose there is more to it, but I think that was enough to make it clear.' Janie rambles out.

"Ok, well lets see this picture again," he says, I pull it up again and show him my phone. "Ok, so we want to start looking in this section," he waves an arm toward a glass counter.

"That one," Janie point out a bracelet called "Hearts, Hugs, and Kisses" and I can feel a full on smile spread across my face, I know that it is perfect for her. I know she will love it. "How much?" I ask reluctantly.

"Originally it was sixty dollars, but its on sale for forty nine dollars." He says, I sigh on relief and smile again.

"I'll take it," I say pulling out my wallet.

"Ok, your total will be fifty three twenty eight, would you like it in a gift box?" the man asks, I nod and he removes it from the gray velvet box to a red gift bow with a gold bow on top. I pay the money and Janie takes the bracelet from him. "Thank you, have a nice day."

"I'll take it home with me, so you aren't tempted." Janie smiles and put the box into her bag. For some reason I still feel guilty about leaving Clare, but it was the only time Janie was free, and I really needed her help with it. Despite the guilt I can wipe the smile off my face, seven days until Christmas and I just hope I can keep the secret. I take Janie home so I can get back to Clare.

"Thanks for coming with me," I express as much appreciation as I can to her as she climbs out of Morty. She smiles and nods, then shuts the passenger door on the hearse and goes inside. I start the drive back going a little faster than the legal limit. I pull into her driveway and climb the three stairs to her front door, I open the door without knocking so that if the baby is asleep I don't wake him. I find Clare laying on her couch with one hand on the side on Jayden's carrier, asleep. Jayden is sleeping also, pacifier in his mouth.

I slip out of my shoes and walk quietly towards them, I pull the blanket off the back of the couch and drape it over Clare. I grab the baby carrier and slide it across the wooden floor to me. He sleeps silently. I turn the TV on and flip through channels and find nothing really interesting on so I settle on watching a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles marathon. After the first episode is almost over, Jayden starts to cry.

I pull him out of the carrier and lean against the side of the couch and bounce him in my arms. I stand up carefully and take him into another room so he doesn't wake Clare up, I take him into the kitchen and heat up a bottle for him. I test the temperature on my wrist before offering it to him by touching it to his tiny lips. He opens his mouth and takes in a little but spits it all out and begins crying again.

"Damn it," I quietly cuss to myself. I continue to try and bounce and rock him back to sleep, then it hits me. He probably needs his diaper changed. "Great, this ought to be fun." I carefully grab his bag and go into the dinning room, I lay the changing mat down and lay him on it. I find the diapers and wipes in the bag, all while keeping a hand on his stomach so he doesn't roll off. I start changing his diaper and to my pleasure he was only wet. After cleaning him up and putting him into a fresh diaper, he still continues to cry.

"How long have you been back?" Clare asks from the doorway, sleepily. I jump and gasp sharply, turning myself around quickly holding Jayden tightly.

"Clare, you scared the life out of me," I say, Jayden screams out from my accidental yelling. I hold him in my left arm and stroke his head with my right thumb.

"Sorry, here, let me give it a try," she offers an arm, I carefully hand him to her and she tries bouncing and rocking him. After a few minutes he still hasn't stopped and she starts to hum.

"I got it," I jump up from the kitchen chair, and walk outside. I go out to my hearse and open up the back hatch, I see what I have come for and wrap my fingers around the cold handle of my guitar case. I go back inside And I see Clare's eyes light up. I smirk, we both go to the living room and take a seat on the couch, I put the hard case on the glass coffee table carefully and open it up pulling out my guitar. I pull it onto my lap and start strumming the strings.

_Now I've heard there was a secret chordThat David played, and it pleased the LordBut you don't really care for music, do you?It goes like thisThe fourth, the fifthThe minor fall, the major liftThe baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

**I look up at Clare because Jayden is no longer crying.**

_Hallelujah, HallelujahYour faith was strong but you needed proofYou saw her bathing on the roofHer beauty and the moonlight overthrew youShe tied youTo a kitchen chairShe broke your throne, and she cut your hairAnd from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

**I look up again from my guitar, and see Jayden fast asleep once again. I debate ending now but clare seems to be enjoying the song so I continue singing.**

_Baby I have been here beforeI know this room, I've walked this floorI used to live alone before I knew you.I've seen your flag on the marble archLove is not a victory marchIt's a cold and it's a broken HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahThere was a time you let me knowWhat's really going on belowBut now you never show it to me, do you?And remember when I moved in youThe holy dove was moving tooAnd every breath we drew was HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahYou say I took the name in vainI don't even know the nameBut if I did, well really, what's it to you?There's a blaze of lightIn every wordIt doesn't matter which you heardThe holy or the broken HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahI did my best, it wasn't muchI couldn't feel, so I tried to touchI've told the truth, I didn't come to fool youAnd even thoughIt all went wrongI'll stand before the Lord of SongWith nothing on my tongue but HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah _

"Wow," Jenna stands right inside the door next to the doormat for shoes, again I jump.

"Oh, hi Jenna," I say nervously. My singing and guitar playing hobbies were a little personal. Only Julia, Janie, Clare, Adam, and now Jenna know about it. It isn't that it's a secret, it's just a little self conscious. It still shocks me.

"You're amazing." she says dumbfounded.

"Heh, thanks," I awkwardly respond to her.

"Look, I don't know how you feel about this, but I was asked to do an hour long show at this concert hall, place, I agreed to it. The thing is you see, they want me to have an opening act type thing." She says, I think asking me to do it.

"I don't know about that, live really isn't my thing," I start to decline.

"No, Eli I think you should, you are really good." Clare interjects.

"The gig is worth a hundred fifty, I'll give you fifty. I need someone to do it," she offers.

"Ok, I'll do it, keep the money," I say, an eruption of squeals follows suit.

"You probably will need three songs and then we could sing a song together," she rambles out ideas. I laugh, as does Clare, who seems more excited than I am. "Sorry, I am trying to get my name more out there you know. How about you do a little brainstorming then let me know?" she says standing up with Jayden fastened into his seat. She pulls the diaper bag over her shoulder.

"Alright, see you in school on Monday," I call out after her as she steps out into the cold December air.

**So there is the start of something, but this will grow big. **

**I added some new things on my profile:**

**My favorite version of Hallelujah.**

**A link to some pictures of Aislinn.**

**Editing is sort of half assed, I was falling asleep.**

**The bracelet is on my profile.**

**How do you feel about Eli leaving now?**

**You guys still reading?**

_**Zeldaskeeper, ToriTrueBlood, Inlovewitheli, Heyhellohix5**__**, Foreverdegrassi, Kimloveseli, DegrassiForLife **_


	47. Chapter 4: Liar, Liar

**This one is pretty intense, I think so at least.**

"Hello," I answer my phone.

"Hi, Clare, I am going over to Eli's to work on our plans and maybe play a little music together, you know just to get a feel of our harmony and styles." Jenna says, her being alone with Eli makes me nervous.

"Oh, ok," I feel confused and express it in my response. 

"Well, I was planning on leaving Jayden with Kyle, but I feel bad about leaving him with him all the time, would you possibly watch him?" she asks me, cautiously. 

"Oh yeah of course," I start. "Are you just going to drop him off or," I trail off.

"Eli wanted to see if you wanted to come over and watch him there while we figure things out and practice and whatnot." she finishes for me.

"Oh, yeah that sounds great then, see you at two?" I confirm a time with her, we exchange goodbyes and hang up the phone. I finish my lunch and decide I should probably call Eli. I dial his number and he answers quickly, on the second ring.

"Hey there, beautiful," he starts the conversation. If only he knew exactly how good his little compliments here and there made me feel.

"Hi Eli," I say, laughing. "Jenna just called and asked me to watch Jayden at your house today, she said you wanted her to see if I would watch him there?" I add a hint of questioning to my statement.

"Yeah, I did," I can hear his smirk in his voice. "I figured you would be more comfortable with her and I here alone if we weren't, well alone." he says making me feel a little guilty.

"Eli," I pause, " you know I trust you, right?" I ask, being completely honest with him. 

"Of course I do, I just know what she did when she took K.C. I know how it effected you." he says sounding like he is sincere about him believing me.

"I know it's horrible but I still can't trust her, even though her taking K.C. from me might have been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, in the long run at least, its just hard to trust her." I confess to him.

"It's understandable, how about I come pick you up now?" he questions me.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'll see you in a few minutes." I say walking towards the bathroom to brush my teeth when we hang up.

"Can't wait, I love you," he tells me. 

"I love you too, see you soon." I hang up after we say our goodbyes. I pick my toothbrush out of the holster and squeeze a pea sized amount of tooth paste onto the bristles and brush my teeth for a couple of minutes. After I brush, floss, and use my mouthwash, I grab my hair brush and run it through my hair. I slip into my coat and a pair of soft black boots, and I see him pull into my driveway, from the window. I go out and get into the hearse. We get to house at quarter to two, we get out the cold winter weather, luckily there hasn't been any snow, I just hope there is snow on Christmas. 

Jenna knocks me out of my thoughts with a fist to the door. Eli lets her and Jayden in, and I go over to the. Jenna sets her guitar down on her left and Jayden on her right. She crouches down and pulls Jayden out of the carrier, removing his coat. 

"He just ate, so he should sleep now for a little while," she informs me.

"Alright you two go do your thing," I say taking the baby from her arms. I walk with Eli to his room so he can get his guitar from the closet.

"You two have fun," he says rubbing over Jayden's head. He walks out leaving me with Jayden. Jayden is already about to fall back asleep, so I lay him on Eli's bed, laying next to him. I flick on the TV and scroll through channels for a little while until I come across a good looking movie. After a while, music floods up the basement stairs from Eli and Jenna. Jayden wakes up and needs to be changed, its been about an hour the movie is over. After I change the baby I realize the music has stopped. I get curious and walk to the top of the stairs.

"I feel really bad that I've been lying to her for so long, I just don't know how to go back and fix it, at the time it seemed like a good answer." I hear Eli say to Jenna just above a whisper. My heart sinks a little bit, I should walk away but I keep listening.

"Well, I mean it isn't hurting her not to know," Jenna says, and that's why I don't trust her. 

"Jenna, she is my girlfriend, she deserves to know, everything. I should have just told her straight out when she asked if I was a virgin," he says, I gasp, controlled and silently.

"Yeah, but that was a while ago, what if she gets mad?" Jenna tried to turn him off of whatever he has been lying about, pertaining to his sexual history.

"I want to be honest with her, but how do I tell her that I lied and said Julia and I had sex once and that's when she got pregnant? I mean with my luck, yeah, its believable, but it's a lie. I know Julia and I had sex more than once. I know that she was more than a month pregnant, three months more than a month to be exact. I know it was going to be a girl, I know we were going to name her Kendal. I know I changed my mind and wanted to go with our original plan was and put her up for adoption." he vents to Jenna, unknowing that I stand here listening to him break my heart. 

"Eli," she say quietly, I hear motion and I assume it's a hug. I start to walk back to his room trying to hold in the tears that so desperately want to fall free, when the baby cries in my arms. Foot steps climb the stairs, I wipe my eyes disposing of the moisture that has formed there. I bounce the baby in my arms.

"Did he just wake up?" Jenna asks at the doorway, making her way over to me. I see Eli looking at me from behind her, I don't make eye contact with him.

"Yeah, a couple minutes ago," I say looking at Jenna, handing her the baby. Eli looks distressed, he tried to make eye contact but I look away and pull out my phone. 

"Thanks Clare, really." Jenna thanks me once again. 

"Its no problem, I love watching the little guy." I confess.

"Well, still thanks," she looks to Eli, "Kyle's probably on his way its about three fifteen, I said three twenty." she explains. We all leave Eli's room and go to his living area by the door. Jenna fastens Jayden into the car seat carrier and pulls it up onto her arm, he sucks on his dark teal pacifier. Eli steps closer to me and he wraps an arm around my waist. I pull away, instantly.

"Oh, here's Kyle," Jenna says hugging us both with one arm, she picks up her guitar and walks out, I wave. Eli shuts and locks his front door and steps close to me again, he leans in to kiss me but I turn my head to avoid his lips.

"Clare, what's wrong?" he asks.

"Let's just say you aren't exactly good at whispering," I trail off.

"Wha- oh, the basement," he says shortly.

"Yeah, the basement. Why would you lie to me?" I ask hurt building up in me, I storm away from him and throw myself on the couch. He follows and sit's only inches away from me. 

"Clare, I didn't want to, I just couldn't bring myself to think about it." he tries to cover himself with it. I scoff loudly, almost seeming like a laugh.

"So why now?" I snap. 

"Jayden makes me think about Julia the baby, Clare I didn't lie that much. She got pregnant the first or second time, but we didn't know until three months in, at that point we were going to put it up for adoption, then she got too attached to the idea and I would do anything for her. Then we found out it was a girl, we named her Kendal. Right after that is when it hit me, a baby was way more than I could handle, I cared more about me than either of them. Julia and I fought about adoption, and originally abortion but it was too late." he says in a fast jumble. 

"Eli, you lied to me," I free my tears, "about something huge." I finish.

"Clare, you know I love you. I would do anything for you, I just didn't know how to tell you. We never even told her parents." he tries. I stand up and put my coat and boots on.

"I can't be in a relationship built on lies," I say before exiting his house. I walk down the driveway and he stand at the door.

"Clare, please," he yells as I walk away from him, from us.

**What if I just stop here, end it for good?**


	48. Chapter 5: Potential

So I am in a great mood. So I am writing this and I hope to have it up right after.

We just broke into this kids car and stuck sticky notes all over the inside that say and array of things like "Joshy" Joshy-po" "Josh" Sooo funny.

Also small note, nothing feels better than a "You know I love you too, it's a thorn in my side all the way to the P.A. border not to turn back around to come home. One month, we can make it, we've gone longer."

So I don't remember when I had the date of Julia's death, so I am making it August 23, 2009. (Sorry for that)

"Clare, wait," I yell down the stoop towards Clare as she leaves the path from my house, turning onto the sidewalk. "Clare," I belt out using everything in me, knowing that she won't turn around, knowing she won't come back. There is a prick at my eyes, a prick I haven't felt in a while. I shut my eyes and take a breath as the hot tears turn cold as they escape my eyes taking their victory roll. I wipe them away fast, no more follow. I sit on the steps I just walked Clare walk away from me on. Speechless, thoughtless, and clueless I stare at the opening between the two houses across from my own. After what seems like a few minutes, the cold December air gets to me. I walk in my house and slam the door, hard. I pat the front pockets of my jeans, then the back, empty. I try to remember what I did with my phone, I go to the basement stairs and start the decent to where my guitar is. I open the case and look in the side compartment, found it. Two missed calls, I tap the button hoping to see Clare's name, Adam. I call him back. "Eli, what the hell have you been doing I have been trying to call you," Adam answers the phone, screaming in my ear.

"What do you want?" I ask rather coldly.

"You lied to Clare," he explains to me like I am stupid. I debate hanging up on him.

"I think I know that, Captain Adam Obvious," I scoff harshly, taking my anger out on him even though he had nothing to do with this, at all. This was my mistake, all my mistake. I knew I shouldn't have old Jenna, but I had to get it out there. I know I wanted to tell Clare, I just didn't know how. "Eli, have a little heart, she walked here bawling and you want to be nasty," he says in a questioning tone.

" 'Have a little heart,' really Adam You don't think this killed me as much as it killed her. I wanted to tell her but I didn't know how to. I said that same thing to Jenna, I know I should have just gone to Clare, but I needed to talk it out with someone first." I spit out in one long breath, I draw another in to replenish my deflated lungs.

"You chose Jenna, over me? Really, Eli. I am supposed to be your best friend, you know?" he asks, I end the call and turn the phone off. I shove it in my pocket, and run back up the stairs. When I reach the top I shut the door to the basement and go to my room and lay down on my bed. I stare at the ceiling. I shut my eyes a few times, not for long but just over the length of time a blink occupies. The plain white ceiling never seemed so intense, it was like movie playing from my memory of the recent events. I think about the conversation Jenna and I had just under an hour ago, the painful though of what happened next causes me to roll over and curl my knees up a little towards my chest. I find myself staring in the general direction of my night stand. I reach out and open the drawer, pulling out a plain manila folder, that was so close to giving my secret away every time Clare was in my room.

I slowly open the folder for the first time in months. Inside there is a picture on the left hand side of a morphed baby. Julia, before she died made it for me, she used an internet site to morph a picture of myself and her, creating what our baby should look like. On the right hand side of the folder there is a black, gray, and white sonogram from the week before Julia died. Above the morphed picture the name Kendall Marie Goldsworthy is written out in neat handwriting, on the other side, above the sonogram is the date January 20, 2009, in her precise handwriting. She gave it to me, the day, she died. This folder is what started the wakeup call for what we were getting ourselves into, what killed them both.

I shut the folder and pull it to my chest crossing my arms over top of it. My knees draw closer to my chest so that they are touching my elbows. I snap out of it and decide to turn my phone back on. After it loads completely, I see that I have a new text. It's from Adam.

_Yeah, hang up on me._

_I ignore it and dial Clare's number. It rings a few times and I almost hang up when she finally answers._

"_What do you want, Eli?" she says, nose plugged and pained._

"_I want to talk to you," I try to start a conversation._

"_I don't know what to say to you," she says in a whisper._

"_Then listen to me," I say, pausing for her to argue, when she doesn't say anything I assume it means for me to go on. "Clare, I know I should have told you up front, I just didn't know how to tell you. I don't know what made me even lie about it in the first place. Its been killing my not to tell you, I really wanted to. I'm sorry," I finish, I find that my eyes are moist again. _

"_Eli, it wasn't like anything small, small things I can forgive. This is a huge thing, our entire relationship has been a lie. I can't handle that," she says, pausing. "I'm sorry," she sobs into the phone._

"_Are you breaking up with me?" I ask dumbfounded, yet deserving. _

"_Yes," she whispers._

"_I love you,' I draw out._

"_Bye."_

_Sooooo?_


	49. Chapter 6: Done, Finito, Fin

**Ok so some random thoughts I have to add onto the bottom.**

**But so here is an update after there semi-intense break up scene.**

"Bye," I whisper into the microphone on my cell phone. I hit "End" and shut my eyes, fighting the tears I know shouldn't be trying to escape my own eyes. As I fight, the harder they fall. I hit Adam's name in my phonebook.

"Hey," he answers right away, "how are you doing?" he asks concern imbedded deep within his feminine voice.

"Can you come over," I ask sobbing into the phone, " I really need someone here,"

"Of course, I'll start walking now, ok? I'm already out the door, I will be there in about five minutes," he says calmingly.

"Thanks Adam," I continue to sob to myself, using so much effort of the little energy I have left, just to sound coherent enough for him to understand.

"It's no problem, Clare. Five minutes, hang in there," he say sweetly before hanging up. I sit down on my couch, pulling my knees up to my chest. I snake my arms around my legs and rest my face on my knees. I continue to breathe, all while I shake, the tremors like an earthquake within my body. I slide my arms up my legs and rest my head on them, causing the pain of my knees on my forehead to dissolve almost instantly, unlike the pain of losing Eli. Breathing grows harder, and hyperventilating kicks in. I hear the door open and click close quickly as I gasp for arm.

"Clare," Adams says while his footsteps near quickly. The couch dips lightly with the weight of his slender body. His left hand finds my back and rubs up and down slightly, creating warmth from the friction between his hand and my hoodie.

"We broke up," I I choke out, causing a new round of tears.

"Clare, I'm so sorry, really," he says, shifting to face me getting a little closer. His arm makes its way all the way around my side and I collapse into his shoulder. His right leg hangs off the couch, his left making a triangle shape with the other, resting on the couch. I throw my arms around his neck and he pulls my torso closer to his. "It's ok, Clare," he whispers into my ear, stroking my hair.

I twist slightly and plant myself in the triangle he has formed with his legs, tears falling free still. I rest the right side of my head on his left shoulder and he wraps both arms around me, holding me comfortably. I yawn, finally able to feel the moisture on my sweat shirt gathering from the tears dripping off my chin. My knees are bent again towards Adam, my feet on the couch. The tears continue but they slow, my cheeks feel stiff from the dried salty tears.

I drift into a sleep at some point, and sleep until my mom gets home from work. The door opens and shuts, like when Adam came in.

"Clare," she says loudly, I can feel Adam's body tense up. "What is going on?" she says, sounding closer than when she called out for me.

"It's a long story, I think she would rather tell you herself," he says thinking fast, he has just his left arm between the couch and myself, wrapped around me, his right has his phone in it. Her heels click around the couch and I can sense her standing in front of Adam and I, I continue to feign sleep hoping to fall back into it.

"I am her mother, you know," she pressed, Adam breathes in deeply, in then out. This breath was a silent sigh.

"I understand that, but its personal to Clare, and I know she wouldn't want me to tell you for her, I wouldn't feel comfortable." he says, his body releases the tension as he speaks.

"Oh, oh no," she says walking away. In my head I can see her shaking her head "No," with her finger tips pressed to her temples. Once I count up to twelve, the set of stairs to the second floor, I stir.

"Thank you," I turn my head to look up to him. He smiles, showing nearly perfect teeth.

"I didn't know you were awake," he whispers, soothingly in my ear. "I should probably go then, let you talk to your mom," he suggests.

"Come with me to talk to her, I'm afraid I'll break down again if I talk to her alone." I ask him, he looks side to side with his eyes before nodding slightly. I slowly move away from him putting my feet firmly on the ground. He stands up first, offering a hand to me. I stand up and we walk slowly towards the stairs. I look up and hesitate.

"Come on," he says grabbing an arm dragging me up the stairs. We get to the door of her room, he knocks, making it impossible for me to run.

"Come in," she says fast and sharp. I open the door, but Adam pushes me through it. "Well, what is it?" she says sounding quite annoyed.

"Uhmm," I start, unsure of how to go on. Terrified to repeat the words of what happened, terrified to think I could break down in front of my mother.

"You're pregnant, aren't you," she asks, I laugh, almost wishing it would be that simple to say to her. Adam stares at her in disbelief, looking incredibly shocked. "I've got it down now, it isn't even your boyfriends kid, its this ones, you're a whore." she stands up, approaching me quickly.

"No," Adam speaks up, "They broke up,"

"That's it," I say tears welling up where they recently stopped. "We broke up," I turn into his shoulder to cry.

"Then you got with him, great even better." she says sarcastically.

"No, I don't think you understand, she isn't pregnant. Her and Eli broke up," he starts to clear things up. "I'm not even able to get with any girl, because I biologically am one," he says softly. I hear the pain in his voice as he says his most personal secret. I storm out of her room and walk to mine, Adam hot on my heels. He shuts the door behind us and we sit together on my bed.

"I'm sorry," he says to me, apologizing once again for something that isn't his fault.

"Its not your fault," I remind him, sniffing lightly. He wipes away a tear or two from my eyes. "I love him, you know, I really do." I sniff again.

"I know you do," Adam agrees.

"But he lied to me about something huge," I continue to vent to Adam.

"I know, Clare. He didn't tell me either, if that helps at all.." he offers. I stay silent for a little while then look away. "He'll com around," he continues.

"I don't know that I want him to," I admit. "I don't know if I could ever take him back," I feel the prick of tears, but he wipes them away before they have gone any place.

"That's enough crying," he pauses. "I understand why you wouldn't," he strokes damp bangs out of my eyes.

"We went a lot father than I thought I was comfortable with the other day," I confess to Adam.

"You don't mean you two had sex, right," he ask shocked, yet scared.

"No, we were fully clothed, well mostly. When we were babysitting Jayden, he was asleep, we started to, uhmm well, make out. We ended up on top of me, and he had a few buttons of my shirt undone, the bottom ones, but never the less they were undone." I say quietly just in case my mom was waiting outside.

"Oh, that's, wow," he stutters. "Well, maybe you just need a little time to think about things. Maybe you'll be able to forgive and forget it all," he suggests.

"He is the only person I have ever felt like this about. K.C. and I were more like very close friends, compared to how I feel about Eli." He says, I lay down on my side, facing the way he is sitting. I wrap my arms around my stomach, feeling tired again.

"I think we'll have to have a talk about it. Maybe I can be strong and do what is best for me, and not take him back, but it's Eli." I say, he does what I did, only he perches himself up on his left elbow.

"He loves you," Adam reminds me.

"I know," I whisper. I look at him, he is resting his head on his arm which is no longer supporting him, he looks like he could fall asleep at any minute, I feel that way. Somewhere while thinking, I do fall asleep.

**So who has seen Inception? AMAZING!**

**What about Willow Smith's song, Whip My Hair, who's heard it?**

**These are my two favorite things right now, aside from all of you, of course.**

**REVIEW? Ehh? I could use a pick-me-up. **

**VENT TIME!**

**Saturday, I asked one of my very best friends if he cared that we were talking less and less, he said it didn't bug him, but he missed it, it just wasn't necessary.**

**Later that night I decided that I didn't need that, so I deleted him off my face book.**

**Last night (Tuesday) He realized and asked why, I explained to him. We had the only in the movies "I'm sorry, I still love you, Goodbye," talk. **

**But Then I texted my single most best friend Conor, who was proud that I didn't give into Kevin, and I didn't cry! **

**VENT TIME OVER!**


	50. Chapter 7:Kendall Marie Goldsworthy

**Ok so I have an explanation for not updating in forever. My laptop crashed. I fixed it on my own but I lost all my, well, everything. So I had to wait until I could get into my dorm (we get kicked out over winter break) so I could get my disk for Microsoft. **

**Happy late Christmas, or happy holidays to be politically correct. **

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

"Janie, pick up," I beg under my breath. "Come on, come on, I know it's early, please," I feel my eyes tearing up.

"Hello," her voice rings in my head and I almost think its part of my imagination. "Eli, are you there?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'm here," I say, as a single tear rolls. "Janie we need to talk," my voice cracks. "Please, come over, please," I push the tears back down, choking them back.

"Eli, what's wrong? I can come over, just give me some time to get ready and for my dad to bring me, unless you want to get me?" she wonders.

"No, have him bring you, just promise me one thing, promise me that you won't hate me after we talk today," I wait for her response, impatiently.

"Eli, what did you do," she sounds terrified, her voice shakes lightly.

"Promise me, you have to promise," I demand roughly.

"Ok, I promise," her voice shakes harder , she forces the words out quickly. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." she pauses, breathing a few heavy breaths. "Bye, Eli." she hangs up. I dial Adam, but blocking it, to see if he will maybe answer.

"Hello," a groggy Clare answers in a questioning tone. I start to panic and look at the number, it does in fact, belong to Adam.

"Clare?" I say loudly, shocked.

"Eli," she echoes my tone.

"It's eight o'clock in the morning, and you two are hanging out?" I start to get excited, but not in a good way.

"We fell asleep," she stutters softly into the phone, "why are you calling?" she sounds annoyed, but interested

"He slept over?" I yell into my phone.

"Yeah, we fell asleep," she repeats. "I am finally in some sort of peace for the first time since yesterday morning, sort of." she pauses before adding, "Thanks for waking me up from that."

"Clare, I'm sorry." I debating between hanging up and waiting to see if she responds. "I don't know what else I can say. Clare I need you more than you know, you and Adam are the only friends that I have here. I know I should have told you right from the beginning, I know I should have told Adam, Clare I didn't even tell Janie," I feel a fluttering in my chest, a feeling I haven't felt since Julia and I fought.

"Tell me what," Janie's sweet voice sends a calming vibe over me, startling me at the same time.

"You and Jenna can be friends," Clare says.

"Clare, I'm sorry, ok? I have to go, I'll call you later, feel free to take the time in between to decide if you are going to actually answer my call." I hang up the phone without waiting for her response. I rotate my body to face Janie.

"Eli," she pauses, breathing deeply. "Eli, what did you do?" her voice rapid, shaking her head, "No" in a seemingly involuntary way. Finally I feel a tear make its way down the planes of my cheek. Janie whispers my name once more. Stepping forward, I take her hand in mine, walking in the direction of my room. When we get to my room she walks past me, stopping a about a foot away from my bed to turn and look at me. I shut the door and walk towards her.

"You're starting to scare me, Eli, just tell me what is going on." she demands, nerved. I put both hands on her shoulders and push downward so that she will sit on my bed. Her eyes shift up to meet mine, and I look away fast. I yank the my nightstand drawer open and pull out the folder. I sit down next to her, sliding the folder across my lap to her awaiting hands.

"That ought to explain everything to you, I hope-" I trail off. She runs a thin, pale hand over the blank, unrevealing cover. She notices my intent stare, and slides a finger into the outer edge of the folder. "Open it quickly before I change my mind," I demand, gripping the extra denim of the thigh on my, not so, skinny jeans. She flips the folder open, scanning the material over with her eyes quickly , then looking over at me.

"Eli, what is this?" she voice shakes. "Are you trying to tell me that you lied to me, are you saying that she was very pregnant, are you trying to tell me that I would have had a niece in a few months? Eli, why would you guys do this?" her eyes well up with tears.

"I am trying to tell you that, Julia and I were expecting a little girl, just under a year ago. In fact, her first birthday would have been exactly one month from today. I am trying to tell you that, we were afraid, that I still am. I am trying to tell you everything you didn't know." I notice the tears stream down her face in two thin watery black lines. I let out a sob, freeing built up tears I had been forcing not to fall.

"You could have told me, I could have helped, I wouldn't have been mad, but now I don't understand why you waited so long," she says, inhaling sharply, I turn to face Janie.

"Janie, I don't know anything other than I made up one lie so you wouldn't be upset about us ever having sex, then I made up another because I couldn't lie to Clare about being a virgin, but I couldn't come out with this truth. Until yesterday when I knew things with Clare were becoming more serious, I had to tell someone, and I talked to the girl who stole Clare's last boyfriend away from her. I tried covering up mine and Julia's secret because it hurt too much to remember, but I just kept building up on lies, Janie, Clare broke up with me and I don't know what to do anymore," I vent, hoping she could comprehend at least some of it, my crying so thick and over powering of my voice.

Janie faces me and leans in, throwing her arms around my neck, sobbing into my shoulder.

"Eli, I can never hate you, but this was not the way I would have wanted to find out. You know that I love you, and I know Clare does too. Right now we are going to work on getting her back, then we will have a talk about this, I can't come to terms with this yet-" she trails off, shaking in my arms. I nod my head.

"Ok," my voice cracks. She pulls away, wiping tears from her eyes.

"We're going over there, now." she says determined.

"I can't drive, I'm a mess." I confess to the only person I have right now.

"I can," she says pulling herself together quickly. "I got a lot of my crying out about her last night, my mom brought her up at dinner. I can drive Morty,' she says standing up.

"Driving a hearse is a little more difficult than driving your dads car ," I stand up and follow her as she walks out of my room and down the hall to the front door. She pulls my keys off the wall mount and slips into her shoes. I pull on my skate shoes and follow her out of my house.

"She doesn't live far away, right?" Janie asks me as we slide into my hearse. I shut the passenger side door for the first time.

"Just around the corner, I could probably drive, unless you want to test Morty out," I lie, knowing I can't drive, I can't even see straight from my tear blurred vision.

"I kind of want to drive, where am I going?" she asks turning the key in the ignition. This is the first time anyone other than myself have driven Morty since I got him.

"Right out of the driveway, left at the corner," I explain, looking out the window. "You have to pull out of the driveway more than normal," I try to help her. We reach the end of my street and she turns left, I direct her the rest of the way until I see Clare's house, with no car in the driveway. We pull in and Janie parks Morty fairly well for a first time hearse driver.

"Come on, we're going in." she tells me. She climbs out without hesitation and starts towards the door. I hurry to catch up with her, and she leans over to me again when we have reached the door. "I think you should probably knock," she suggests. With two quick knocks I panic, taking deep breaths, my chest rising and falling quickly. I start to turn around to walk away and Janie grabs a hold of my arm and digs her fingers into the sleeve of my black blazer. The door opens and someone sighs, I look up.

"Clare, its Eli and some girl," Adam calls into her house, frustrating me. I clench my left hand into a fist, hidden by my long sleeve. He opens then door, eying Janie suspiciously.

"Hi, I'm Janie," she extends her free hand to Adam, who shakes it lightly.

"Adam, nice to meet you," he says, clearly annoyed. Her fingers still tight around my right wrist. Clare appears in the doorway between the entrance and the kitchen. Janie frees my wrist to go up to Clare, hugging her tightly.

"Can we try talking," I ask, looking her dead in the eye. She bites her lip and shuts her eyes for a second before nodding. "Upstairs," I suggest. She looks at the stairway and then me before walking ahead of me up them. I see Janie pull Adam into the kitchen, and she takes a seat in a chair. Then she is out of my line of vision because I have made it almost all the way up the stairs.

"You want to talk, go ahead," Clare says coldly, but with some sort of emotion, with feeling.

**Watching the Peoples Choice Awards. **

**Side Notes: **

**Robert Patteinon looks high and bored.**

**Kristen Stewart looks like she is anorexic.**

**Taylor Lautner almost looked like he had lipstick on.**

**The Roommate will be an awesome movie.**

**Selena Gomez is so pretty, and can sing very well, but they need to turn her mic up.**

**Taylor Swift's dress is strange…very strange.**

**Anyone else have something to say about them?**

**I know I am super late with this but: What are your resolutions?**

**Mine is to stop getting so irritated.**

**Did anyone get something great for the holidays?**


	51. Chapter 8: Will Love Prevail?

**This is the same as the last chapter I posted but it has an added ending!**

**Ok well, I wrote this about a week and a half ago. I didn't have internet, and I don't remember if I mentioned that my computer crashed?**

**But hopefully this is good!**

I sit down on my unmade bed, Eli stands pressed against the white door frame to my room. He notices my observing, our eyes link for a second and I look away. I bite my lower lip, closing my eyes. Faintly there is a thud causing me to look over at him. His forehead is pressed against the hard wood frame, his face mildly scrunched up.

"Eli," I whisper, hiding the weakness in my voice. "Come in," I slide back further on my bed. He steps into my room, shutting my door slowly behind him.

"I love you, and I won't let us fall apart. Right now I will tell you anything you want to know about me, anything is open for discussion. No more lies if you will take me back," he sits down, eyes glazed with tears, green piercing though me. "I know you, and I know you love me too." he says, and he's right.

"I do, but this wasn't something little, Eli." I make eye contact for the longest amount of time so far, he doesn't look away either. For what seems like minutes we just stare into each others eyes, his eyes have something about them, probably the brilliant green color, that make me want to give in.

"I'm sorry," he repeats in the tone that makes me melt, he says things like its my final chance to take some deal or something. He holds his head cocked to the side slightly, his face pink from crying.

"Tell me everything about the baby." I say as calmly as possible, hoping it doesn't make him cry again, that site was nearly enough for me to take him back.

"Well, Julia and I were going to go for abortion at first, then she told me she really didn't want to. She told me that she was afraid that I would break up with her if she didn't have it- 'taken care of'-" he pauses, uses air quotes, then pauses again.

"I told her I wouldn't, ever, do that to her. We sat in the hearse for two hours outside the clinic. I won't lie that whole time I hoped that she would change her mind and go in. She cried for at least half an hour, and I just held her in my arms, telling her that everything would be alright. Of course, how did I really know, we were only one month along. So we talked about other options for over an hour. We made lists of pros and cons of adoption, then keeping it." He stops again and swallows hard, taking a deep breath in. He waits for a few seconds before exhaling. I pat the bed to my right and he slides to sit against the headboard as I am.

"That is when we decided we weren't ready to keep it so we chose adoption. We would sneak off to appointments when we were in school. Until it was three months along, that's when we decided to tell my dad, he didn't take it too well. He told me how irresponsible it was for me to not be careful, he told me that if I didn't step up and do whatever I could to help, he'd kick me out and stop giving me money when I asked for it. We were going to tell Janie, but she got too scared and we kept saying that we would do it the next day." a few tears roll along his smooth skin as he talks about his painful past. I move my right hand from my lap and place it over top over his. He flips his left hand over beneath mine and interlaces his fingers with mine.

"Then we found out it was a girl, and we were talking about what we would name her if we decided to keep her. We chose Kendall Marie, after she had a name, thinking about adoption seemed to hard to look further into, so we decided that we were keeping her, Kendall Marie Goldsworthy," he says his last name with a sense of pride, his eyes focus on the ceiling. I squeeze his hand and lean my head on his shoulder.

"Then a month later, August 23, 2009, to be exact I told her that if she really wanted to keep her we had to tell Janie and her parents. We got into a fight about her not wanting to tell them, she told me that I was just trying to get out of being a dad," he breathes heavy with tears streaming , evacuating his eyes. I take my hand from his and put it around him, pulling him into a semi-awkward sitting hug. He sobs into my shoulder, pulling me as tight as he can.

"The last thing she ever said to me was, 'You don't love me, you never loved me, or the baby. I really hate you, Elijah.' Then she rode off into the night on her bike," he lets me go, and turns to face forward bending his knees to his chest. He cries so hard he is hyperventilating.

"She died thinking that I don't love her, and that baby," his chest rises and falls faster and faster. "I loved her then and I love her now, I love the baby too, not a day goes by that I don't think about them. I loved them then, I love them no, and I will always love them." he takes in sharp breaths and coughs hard after half of them.

"I love you," I whisper in his ear, stroking his hair with my left hand, my right around his back. I kiss his face, about an inch in front of his left ear.

"I will always love you," he chokes out hardly understandable.

"I know, shh, it's alright," I coo in his ear. I rub his back trying to calm him down, but nothing seems to be working. After a minute I can't endure the amount of emotional pain he is in. I run from my room to the top of the stairs.

"Janie, Adam come here, fast," I yell down the stairs. My cheeks moist with tears, I see Janie come around the corner. Adam looks up at me. 'Come one, its Eli," I cry out.

"What, no," Janie says before running up the stairs, Adam hot on her heals. I reenter my room and crawl back to the spot on my bed I was before. Janie takes one look at Eli, and goes to his side.

"Eli, she knew you loved her, she did, I promise. She was just upset," she says confidently. Adam looks from person to person in the room, confused and unsure of what to do. Janie takes Eli's right hand in hers brushing over it with her thumb. "She knew," she whispers to him, her face centimeters away from his face. His hair brushes on her face, he has stopped hyperventilating, and he looks to Janie who lets go of him.

"I'm sorry," he says to me.

"It's alright, Eli its ok to express your feelings about her," I confess though it kills me to hear him say that he still loves her. "I'm sure you have enough love for everyone," I kiss his forehead. "I'll get you a wet wash cloth, maybe you should lay down," I say standing up.

"I didn't sleep enough last night," he lays down on my bed. I go down the hall to get a wash cloth and run it under the cold water.

"I'm sorry," Janie appears outside the bathroom doorway.

"For what?" I ask her, confused as I ring out the washcloth so it stops dripping.

"I felt weird in there," she admits to me, "I know you are really a great person and understanding, but I still felt odd grabbing his hand like that and being so close to his face," she speaks softly.

"It's fine, we just talked everything out. It never would have happened without you, I just wish I knew how to help him sometimes," I confess to her, we had only talked a few times but she felt close to me, maybe because she is so close with Eli.

"He does it whenever he talks about when she died, and how he thinks she didn't know he loved her. Honestly, he knows deep down that she knew, but its just hard for him, me too." she says, she wipes her index finger under her eye, swiping a tear before it could fall.

"I imagine so, I just wish he would be more open about her, I am willing to listen and to try and help him, but he just won't let me in." Janie nods agreeing with me.

"Its too hard for him, he will though, you have to fight it from him, but he'll open up to you. He really loves you." she reassures me as we finish our chat outside my door. We go in and Adam and Eli are talking, I walk to my bed and put the folded washcloth on his face, first patting his cheeks then laying in on his forehead. His sad, bloodshot eyes stare up at me, the surrounding pink color seemed to make the green stand out in a new way. I brush his hair, from under the washcloth back, leaving it parted and falling to either side, wet.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, a tear rolling down his, already wet, cheek.

"Happy seven month," I kiss his cheek, I see a small smile when I pull away from him. "No more secrets,"

"No more secrets," he repeats, grabbing my hand. "Promise me something," he says, half sounding like a question. I look at him questioningly.

"What's that?"

"Promise that you will never leave me, because I don't think I could go on without you." He stares through me, but I don't dare look away from his eyes.

"I promise,"

**Alright I just want to mention how low my ratings and viewing are lately, and I'm so sorry that it has been taking me so long to get new stuff out to you guys. I have a lot on my plate right now. So again, I'm really sorry. Hopefully when the new ones start up again I'll be more motivated to make time for writing.**


	52. Chapter 9: One Step Closer

**So, last night I had this dream, about Eli, and maybe Clare? I'm not really sure to be honest. It was through my point of view. There was just so much going on, I can only remember about half of it. Anyway I started this at ten thirty this morning, and I have been working all day, it's quarter after eight.**

"Hallelujah, The Promise, Hear Me Now, Slow Dance," I mumble to no one but myself, I scribble the titles down in my notebook. "I don't know what else," I continue to talk to myself. Finally I tear the sheet from the silver spiral binding and fold it into a tiny rectangle. I push the notebook aside, sliding my laptop to me, opening it carefully. I hit the power button and wait for the login screen to load. Once it has completely loaded, I click in the text box next to the small icon, a picture of Clare. I add my password and a larger image of Clare and I lights up. I enter the internet and look for lyrics and music sheets for the four songs I chose for the mini concert that I let Clare twist my arm into accepting.

I print the sheets for Jenna, and call her.

"Hey Eli," she answers, not making me wait for more than a couple rings.

"Hi Jenna, I'm having dinner with Clare later so we have to be done by four thirty. You can come over whenever you want to." I explain to her, "I made a list of clean songs I know how to play, I have the lyrics for you if you want them," I add.

"Alright, glad you are on top of things I should make a list like that and figure out the order we'll do things. Eli, I know we really aren't into the same sort of music, but I picked out a couple duets and I just hope they aren't too," she pauses, "not you, I guess."

"It's fine, I'm not too worried about that. As long as you don't turn me into a Jonas Brother, deal?" I can't help but laugh at myself.

"Oh, but Eli, you already have the tight pants, long hair, and the good looks, you are practically one already," she giggles in the background, like she is trying to stifle a full out laugh. "I'm kidding, I can probably be over there around noon," she turns the statement up at the end into a question.

"That's perfect, gives me a chance to go out to shave my head, and rob Fitz's closet for new clothes, non-Jonas Brother-like.' I joke.

"I see that going over well," she laughs, "So, I'll see you around noon? I just have to gather my things and take Jayden off at K.C.'s house,"

"Sounds good, see you then." I hang up. Only to dial Clare and continue on the phone.

"Good morning," she answers, sounding cheery but not wholehearted.

"Morning, sorry I know it's only eleven thirty, I was just calling to let you know that Jenna and I are working until around noon until four thirty, then I'll be at your house at quarter to five." I tell her.

"Ok, Adam is coming over here for a while to keep me company," she tells me.

"Alright well, I'm going to go get dressed and everything so I'll text you when we're done here, ok?" I try to end the conversation quickly so I will be ready for when Jenna gets here.

"Alright, bye," she says.

"I love you," I add in before hangs up.

"I love you, too," she quickly and hangs up. I set my phone down on my dresser and gather an outfit from about my room. I end up with a black t-shirt, and black jeans, with a gray, long sleeved button down shirt that I leave undone with the sleeves rolled. I comb my hair into place, checking out how I look in the mirror. I notice that there are two things missing from the outfit, the wrist band Clare gave me, and my guitar pick necklace. I pull them out of a box on my dresser. Looking at the clock, I notice there are only ten minutes until Jenna should be here.

I go to the kitchen to get two bottles of water from my refrigerator, I start to climb down the stairs to my basement, realizing how cold it is, I turn around and head to my room. I set the bottles down on my night stand and grab my guitar off the ground I lay it flat on my bed and undo the clasps on the side. I open it and I hear the doorbell ring. I leave my guitar on my bed and head for the door.

"Hey, come on in," I greet Jenna, extending an arm toward the living room. She comes in with her own guitar. She sets in down a little ways in and turns around to wave to Kyle. He nods a little and waves goodbye before pulling out.

"You ready?" I ask her, already knowing the answer. She nods and I walk down the hall. "The basement is freezing, so I figured we could just stay up here." I explain as we pass the basement door.

"That's fine," I walk into my room. I shut the door after Jenna enters, I turn to see her staring at my guitar resting in it's open case. "I should have guessed this would look like a coffin," she lets a short laugh out, then smiles at me.

"Actually, I got it before I was 'Death Boy,' Julia bought it for me." I confess. "It was a birthday gift, I've been thinking about getting a new guitar. This one I've had for a couple years, it's in great condition and I would, of course, keep it. I just think it's time I took another step away from her,"

"I get what you are saying, like when a boy breaks up with a girl we like to destroy everything piece of memory we have of them; we break things, burn them, anything. Well, I guess its different because you aren't destroying the memory, you're just pushing it back a bit farther, moving on." she says thoughtfully. "Anyway, we should get to work," she suggests.

"You're right," I grab the folded paper from my desk and the printouts from the printer. "These are the songs I chose, I didn't know if you knew them or not so I printed lyrics out. The sheet music is for me, just in case." I hand over the papers and offer her my computer chair to sit in.

"This is what you were playing or Jayden," she holds out the paper for Hallelujah. "I like that one, as for the rest," she pauses, making me worried. "I've never heard them,"

"I hadn't expected you to," I get my guitar from the case and sit lightly on the edge of my bed, facing Jenna, I bring my hand over the strings once to check for they sound. I figure they sound about perfect so I start the calm intro to Hear Me Now.

"_I swear to God we've been down this road before_

_The guilt's no good, and it only shames us more_

_And the truths that we all try to hide, _

_are so much clearer when its not our lives_

_When we don't face the blame_

_Won't you (get on your knees)_

_believe (have faith)_

_in this lie with us_

_my body's on the floor and I am calling, _

_Well I'm calling out__ to you,_

_Can you hear me now?"_

I finish softly, she smiles at me,

"You have to do that, have to!" she squeals excitedly. "Are the other two similar?"

"Yeah, they're all the same band," I nod, "So what did you have in mind for us to sing?' she is already digging in her bag by time I finish asking her. She pulls out an entire folder from her bag.

"Well I was thinking since you are going to be on first, that we could do a duet where the male part is first and you would start that, then you would introduce me before the female part, and I'd come out with my part," she fingers through the pages in the folder, finally tugging two sheets free. She hands one to me.

"I've never heard this before," I admit to her. I go to my desk and grab my laptop off it, bringing it to my bed with me. I turn it on and log in, I open Youtube and type in 'We'll Be A Dream.'

A lullaby like tune starts playing, two people stand ahead of a band on a stage, a boy and a girl. The boy is a few years older than myself and the girl. The girl looks about my age, she looks strikingly similar to Julia and Janie. I reach into my pocket and pull out my wallet, in one of the credit card slots I keep pictures. I slide them from their slot.

"This is Julia," I show Jenna, "I didn't realize this song was by her,"

"Oh, wow. She looks just like Demi," she agrees with me.

"Yeah, people used to tell them that all the time, I never bothered to look up who she was, now I know." I switch the pictures, "This is Janie, Julia's twin sister and my best friend." I switch to the next, "You know Clare," and I flip to the final one, I forgot I had it.

"Who's that?" she asks after a moment. I stare down at the woman in the picture, she has deep green eyes and dark brown hair.

"That's my mom," I cover the picture up, and put them all away. "So, let's try this song," I suggest, trying to change the subject.

"Uhm, alright," she brings her guitar out and starts to strum. "We we do it for the show it will be a recording, or maybe we could both play," she informs me. I watch as she plays, she meets my eyes and nods.

"_Do you remember the nights_

_We'd stay up just laughing_

_Smiling for hours_

_At anything_

_Remember the nights_

_We drove around crazy in love_

_When the lights go out_

_We'll be safe and sound_

_We'll take control of the world_

_Like it's all we have to hold on to_

_And we'll be a dream" _

I stop, remembering that this is where Jenna should start, and she does.

"_Do you remember the night_

_sWe made our way dreaming_

_Hoping of being_

_Someone big_

_We were so young then_

_We were too crazy_

_In love"_

She nods again hinting me to begin again.

_"When the lights go out_

_We'll be safe and sound_

_We'll take control of the world_

_Like it's all we have to hold on to_

_And we'll be a dream_

_Whoa whoa_

_Whoa whoa_

_Whoa whoa_

_When the lights go out_

_We'll be safe and sound_

_We'll take control of the world_

_Like it's all we have to hold on to_

_And we'll beWhen the lights go out_

_We'll be safe and sound_

_We'll take control of the world_

_Like it's all we have to hold on to_

_And we'll be a dream"_

We finish in unison.

"That was good, really good," she smiles. We keep working at the same song for over an hour, working out harmonies. We work some other songs out and four thirty comes faster then I could have ever thought.

"Well, Kyle's here, so I'll see you later," she gathers up her things and heads out of my room. I slip my shoes on and follow her out. I get ingot Morty and leave to pick Clare up for dinner.

**Ok, so I seriously want to know what everyone thinks about what happens in the promotions.**

**I think I figured it out, but that's just me.**

**So yeah, TELL ME!**

**Also, check out my Poll!**


	53. Chapter 10: Like Mother LikeSon?

**So, an update two days in a row! Couldn't be!**

"Thanks mom, bye," I yell as I walk out the door clutching a gift wrapped box. Eli waits in my drive way, I run to the car, the cold snow blowing in the air, sending shivers down my spine. I get in and shut the door, pulling the seat belt across my lap.

"Merry Christmas," he looks over smirking at me. I lean over an give him a quick peck on the lips, I pull away and he is smiling.

"Merry Christmas," I try to mirror his smirk. He pulls out of my driveway cautiously, and drives don't the street. "So how was your morning?" I ask, knowing he spent a little time with his dad.

"It was alright," he pauses and looks over, "We went to breakfast, he tried talking to me. It really wasn't anything special. Every Christmas we try and get closer, but he just can'. He doesn't like me, I know he tries to but he just can't love me." He sounds upset.

"Eli, when we get to your house, do you want to talk about some things, sometimes I feel like I don't understand things about you." I confess, wanting to help him in the process of getting to know everything about him.

"We can talk, he's not home, he volunteered to work today." he voice is soft, but has a harsh tone in it. I watch him as he keeps his focus on the road, we are almost at his house when he breaks the silence, "Something on my face," he asks.

"What," I ask shocked and confused. His tone is kind almost joking,

"You've been staring at me for over a minute, it's ok to blink, you know," he turns onto his street and sparing a look in my direction, laughing at my confused face. "I'm joking," he pulls into the driveway.

"Oh," I say, feeling stupid. He hops out of the hearse, walking around to the other side, taking my hand after I shut the door. We go into his house, the door hardly shuts before he kisses me. I push him away slightly. "Eli," I whisper.

"Got it," he steps back and takes my hand again, pulling me towards his room. I hesitate, but decide to follow him anyway. When we get through the door, he shuts it. "Sit," he demands, pointing at his bed. I sit obediently. "Shit," he curses.

"What's wrong?" I ask, going over to where he is standing leaning over his dresser. He doesn't say anything, he just opens the drawer real quick and slams it. "Eli, calm down," I put a hand on his shoulder, he whirls around and looks at me.

"I have to make a phone call," he reaches into his pocket, and walks out of the room, fast. I open my mouth to say something, but the room slams shut before the words can come out. I walk to the door to open it, but don't since he slammed it.

"We have a problem," he speaks urgently to whoever he's talking to. "Yes, it is a big deal. I need it, now," he growls. There is a short pause, "Oh, thanks. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell," he listens to the speaker, "Alright, Merry Christmas, I love you." I back away from the door and sit back down on his bed, I kick my shoes off and slide back against his pillows and headboard. He reenters his room, shutting the door softly this time.

"Sorry about that," he apologizes. "I didn't mean to freak out." he looks apologetic, he goes to his desk and pulls something small out of the top drawer and slides it into the inside pocket of his blazer. I just thought something was missing."

"It's ok," I smile. He comes and sits next to me, turning to face me. "So, here," I push the box towards him. "Hope you like it,"

"You didn't have you get me anything, Clare," he says starting to tear away the paper. He gets to the box underneath and opens it up. He pulls out the white t-shirt with a red and black design on it, then a pair of tight black jeans, and finally a solid black vest. "Clare, this is perfect, it's exactly what I need for the show. Thank you," he leans in and kisses me. I put a hand on his cheek, but he pulls away from my touch.

"I have something for you too," he reaches into his blazer pocket. "Here," he hands me a velvet box with a ribbon tied in a neat bow, definitely not his work. He notices my mysterious eying. "Janie did the bow, she took it home so I wouldn't give it to you early. That's why I was freaking out."

I slide the box free from the ribbon, I open the box and inside lies a silver bracelet composed of hearts with X's connecting them. It's gorgeous. "I love it, and I love you." I lean in and kiss him.

"I love you too," he takes the bracelet from me, undoing the clasp, "Let me see your wrist," he clasps it around my right wrist, "Perfect," he kisses me again. I kiss back, he leans onto his elbow and I push closer to him, and I can feel him smiling. He pushes away though.

"I told you we could talk about things, like my mom," he says, I smile at his willingness to open up to me about this. "So, what do you want to know?"

"What do you want to tell me?" I ask putting the cards in his hands. I gets off his bed and goes to his desk bringing his wallet over to me. He pulls out a few pictures from a credit card slot, I've seen them in there, but I never went through them.

"You, Janie, Julia," he slides through them dropping them onto his bed as he goes. "and my mom," he hands me the final one. She looks just like him, her skin only a shade or so paler than his.

"Wow, you two do look alike, really alike." I meet his sad eyes.

"I know, everyone always says that. At least he doesn't just hate me to hate me," he voice is soft, almost sounding broken. "I have he hair, her nose, , her eyes, the shape of her face, Clare, I he did paternity test," his eyes are glossy.

"Eli," I put a hand on his.

"He hates me," he repeats himself to me. So I pull him into a hug.

"He's grieving, everyone does it differently," I pull out of the hug, and wipe a tear from under his left eye. "Everyone does it differently,"

**Ok, so a death has been confirmed for this season!**

**Who do you think it is!**

**The picture in on my newest website! Please go check it out? Go to the "Gallery" tab, its in the "Characters" album, I think all the way at the bottom.**


	54. We Need To Talk

Alright, I'm thinking about calling this story quits.

I haven't made a complete decision yet, but I've gotten less and less feed back.

Less people are reading.

I don't want to end it here, I have a lot in my mind.

Maybe this story hit and pasted its glory days.

I have something new posted, it's a little mysterious, with a huge surprise at the end.

Maybe check that out?

This sounds like a cry for attention, it's not.

I seriously just need to know what you gues want.

I don't know. Let me know what you think about this story being done.

Or.

Let me know what you might want improved.


	55. Chapter Eleven: Show Time

**SQUEEEEEEE! **

**OHMYGOD! **

**I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THERE IS FRAMING HANLEY CONCERT IN MARCH!**

**SOOOO GOING!**

**WARNING! This chapter is extremely long, a lot of it is the lyrics to songs, you can scroll past if you want. **

"You're going to do fine," Jenna says in response to a heavy breath I let out.

"I know, it's just new to me." I say trying to sound confident. I listen as the head of entertainment explains how the evening will work out.

"Introducing a close friend of Jenna Middleton, Elijah Goldsworthy," He introduces me, I cringe at the use of my full name, but walk out towards the single stool sitting behind a microphone stand. I smile and wave to the hundred or so people in the teen-talent concert hall, decorated like a garage.

"Hi," I wave again.

"So, introduce yourself," he suggests.

"Well, I'm seventeen, I'm graduating this year from Degrassi, I have a wonderful girlfriend Clare, Awesome frond Adam, and of course Jenna," I speak with a confidence that is fake, "Also, to be honest, I've never done this before." I confess to them, Clare and Adam are sitting dead center of the room with K.C. and Jenna's brother, who'es holding the baby. The lights make it hard to see anyone very well.

"Well, we're all glad that you are here to change that tonight," he put the microphone on the stand and walks away. I take my seat, and pull my guitar into position on my lap.

"Ok, well I'm a little nervous, but here goes nothing. This is "The Promise," by Framing Hanley." I take a final breath before beginning my short set of songs.

"_She said it's just like Hollywood_

I start to strum lightly, with the background track.

"_Now I'm afraidBecause the boy forgets the girlWhile she sits home and waitsBut you promised me you won'tAnd you've never lied so please don'tIf you want L.A. then go to L. the miles between usMy heart will never change 'Cause you're all that it beats forWhen you walk back to that door_

I look up from my guitar for the first time, I look towards Clare, Adam, K.C., Kyle, and Jayden, feeling a little less nervous. I scan the audience as I continue the song, and notice a few singing along.

_I'm not saying that I don't believeI'm exactly where I want to beDon't you take that from me noYou know I still get lost in your eyesWith your lips and your kiss and your hand in mineYou're all that I needAnd I promise I'll sleep fine tonightJust knowing you're here by my sideDon't give this up, don't give this upI'm not saying that I don't believeI'm exactly where I want to beDon't you take that from me noYou keep on running, you're running awayI'll be here waiting wishing you could seeBut I'll just remember the promise that you made whoaI'll keep on fighting, I'm fighting for youI swear I would give you the sun and the moonIf you'll just remember the promise that you madeOh, oh, oh, ohI'm not saying that I don't believeI'm exactly where I want to beDon't you take that from me noI'm not saying that I don't believeI'm exactly where I want to beDon't you take that from meDon't you take that from me" _

I finish, felling ninety percent more confident.

"Thank you," I say in response the clapping, my lips curl slightly upward. "I have two more songs to do, and this one is a classic, most of you probably know it, "Hallelujah," originally by Jeff Buckley, I will be playing all the guitar to this on my own." with that I start to finger the strings to sounding out the soft melody of the song.

"_Well I heard there was a secret chordthat David played and it pleased the LordBut you don't really care for music, do you?Well it goes like this:The fourth, the fifth,The minor fall and the major liftThe baffled king composing Hallelujah,Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...Your faith was strong but you needed proofYou saw her bathing on the roofHer beauty and the moonlight overthrew youShe tied you to her kitchen chairShe broke your throne and she cut your hairAnd from your lips she drew the Hallelujah,Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...Baby I've been here beforeI've seen this room and I've walked this floor (you know)I used to live alone before I knew youAnd I've seen your flag on the marble archand love is not a victory marchIt's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

I don't dare look out at the audience while singing and playing this song, the intricate cords taking up most of my attention.

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...there was a time when you let me knowWhat's really going on belowBut now you never show that to me, do you?But remember when I moved in youAnd the holy dove was moving tooAnd every breath we drew was HallelujahHallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...Maybe there's a God aboveall I've ever learned from loveWas how to shoot somebody who outdrew youAnd it's not a cry that you hear at nightIt's not somebody who's seen the lightIt's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah,Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…,Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…,Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah,Hallelujah, hallelujah,"_

Most people in the audience are between twelve and eighteen, I'm guessing that they heard about this show from watching. After all it is called Next Teen Star, and these people are teens. I laugh at my ridiculous realization.

"This is 'Hear Me Now,' by Framing Hanley," I say, finally being into this whole, playing live music thing.

"_I swear to God we've been down this road beforeThe guilt's no good, and it only shames us moreAnd the truths that we all try to hide,_

_are so much clearer when its not our livesWhen we don't face the blameWon't you (get on your knees)believe (have faith)in this lie with us my body's on the floor and I am calling, _

_well I'm calling out to you..._

_can you hear me now?It's not rebellion when you're selling out _

_to an out of fashion salesmanOur promising lives, are full of empty promisesTemptations falling and calling you home againWell I'm sorry, if we've let you downWon't you (get on your knees)believe (have faith)in this lie with us my body's on the floor and I am calling,_

_well I'm calling out to you.._

_.can you hear me now?Now my body's on the floor and I am crawling, _

_I'm crawling out to you, can you feel me now?What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong _

_What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong _

_What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong _

_What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong Now my body's on the floor and I am calling,_

_Well, I'm calling out to you,Now my body's n the floor and I am calling_

_Now my body's on the floor and I'm calling_

_Now my body's on the floor and I'm calling_

_I'm calling out to you…"_

I move my guitar off my lap holding it by its neck in my left hand. I wriggle the cordless microphone free from the stand with my right.

"This is my last song for tonight, so I hope you have enjoyed this. The song is 'We'll Be A Dream,' by We The Kings and Demi Lovato. The music for this is a recording, so I'm going to just get rid of this," I walk behind the curtain and hand my guitar to Jenna, who in return give me my white fedora with a black ribbon attached to it. I place it on my head and walk back out, the music begins.

"_Do you remember the nightsWe'd stay up just laughingSmiling for hoursAt anythingRemember the nightsWe drove around crazy in loveWhen the lights go outWe'll be safe and soundWe'll take control of the worldLike it's all we have to hold on toAnd we'll be a dream"_

"Jenna Middleton, everybody," I yell, and she steps from behind the curtain.

"_Do you remember the nightsWe made our way dreamingHoping of beingSomeone bigWe were so young thenWe were too crazyIn love"_

I join in singing with her, we face each other as we practiced. We stand only a little over two feet away from each other.

"_When the lights go out_

_We'll be safe and sound_

_We'll take control of the world_

_Like it's all we have to hold on to_

_And we'll be a dream_

_Whoa, whoa_

_Whoa, whoa_

_Whoa whoa_

_When the lights go out_

_We'll be safe and sound_

_We'll take control of the world_

_Like it's all we have to hold on to _

_And we'll be..._

_When the lights go out_

_We'll be safe and sound_

_We'll take control of the world_

_Like it's all we have to hold on to_

_And we'll be a dream…"_

Jenna and I both take a deep inhale when we finish. I wave to the audience.

"Thank you," I yell and run the few feet to the curtain. I hand my microphone to the stagehand. "I'll be back when she is on her last song," I whisper. When he nods, I walk away and down the stairs into the audience. I make my way to the table everyone is sitting at. I sneak up behind Clare and wrap my arms around her shoulders and kiss her cheek,

"Oh, Eli," she gasps, jumping a little, I pull the empty chair out and sit next to her. "You did great," she kisses me, softly on the lips. "Looks like you have you third fan," she giggles in my ear.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Well me, Jenna, and that girl over there staring at you," she points behind me. I turn slowly, trying to look nonchalant. There is a girl maybe thirteen staring straight at me.

"Wow, three whole fans, I'm famous," I joke turning back to Clare.

"Go talk to her," Clare suggests, I turn and look again, she is sitting with a boy probably nineteen, they are both blonde. "Eli, you should," she pushes my arm a little.

"Only if you come with me, there are two empty chairs," I negotiate with her. She stands up, I follow. We approach the table and the girl's cheeks flush pink and her eyes grow wide.

"These seats taken," I ask with a cocky smirk. She shakes her head furiously.

"No," she says quietly, just loud enough to hear.

"What's your name?" I ask, leaning across the table a little. I lean on my right elbow, leaving my left rested on my knee. Clare's hand falls on top of mine.

"Julia," she yells, but she is hard to hear still. I tense at her name, looking over at Clare. She squeezes my hand.

"That's a pretty name, I had a close friend named Julia," I explain, turning my hand over interlacing my fingers with Clare's.

"What happened?" she asks, catching the minor detail in my last statement.

"She passed away, she was in a car accident," I say keeping my voice even.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes for something she didn't even know had happened thirty seconds ago.

"It's in the past, she's in a good place," I smile, "This is Clare, my girlfriend," I introduce her, Clare loosens her hand from mine, and shakes Julia's hand.

"This is my brother Spencer," she jerks her left thumb towards the guy sitting with her. I note that they both have the same blue eyes. I give him the 'Sup' nod, he returns it.

"How old are you," I ask trying to make conversation with the girl across from me, who is a perfect stranger.

"I'm thirteen, I'll be a grade nine start of next school year," she explains.

"I'm seventeen, I'll be-we'll be going off to college in the fall," I correct myself, looking to smile at Clare.

"College, that's crazy," she laughs. "Could you sign something for me?" she asks nervously. For a second, I am a little shocked.

"Uhm, yeah sure, but I don't have a pen of anything," I confess.

"I have a permanent marker," she says reaching into her bag, she pulls out a purple Sharpie. "Sign my bag?" she asks, shyly.

"Sure, where?" I ask, she flips the flap open and lays it on the table, flat.

"Anywhere on here," she points to the flap. I open the marker and turn the bag, writing on the right corner. 'Julia, my first real fan, and my first autograph,' I print, signing Elijah Goldsworthy underneath that. She smiles.

"Thank you," she shows she appreciation, excitedly. "Would a picture be too much to ask for?" she asks, more shyly then before.

"Anything for my first fan," I stand up and walk around the table. Clare pulls out her phone and snaps a picture of Julia and I. Julia is smiling, open mouthed, with her left arm down straight and her right bent with a thumbs up. I put my right arm around her and mimic her thumbs up with my left.

"Here write your email, I will send it to you tonight," I say handing her the marker and my left hand, fingers outstretched. She writes out her email on my palm and we say our goodbyes and I head back to our original table with Clare.

"That was nice of you," she comments when we are sitting down. Jenna has one more song until I have to leave.

"I'm glad I went over there," I confess, "This is the last song until I have to go back up there, I pull my phone out of my pocket, and see that I have two texts.

"Who's that," Clare asks, I unlock my phone. The more recent is from Jenna.

"Jenna, she wants me to take Jayden up with me when I go back up, to introduce him." I pause. "Come with me then so you can bring Jayden back down here after she introduces him?" I ask looking over to the baby.

"Yeah, of course," she says. I open the second, it's my dad.

"He wished me good luck," I show Clare, she looks a little shocked. "Weird," I say brushing it off. I lean over to K.C. "Jenna wants me to take his up there,"

"Alright, here," he says carefully handing him to me. I cradle him in my arms carefully and head back towards the stage, taking the stairs extra cautiously. Jenna finishes the song.

"Ok, so Eli and I have one more duet planned, but before that I want to introduce you to one more person. If you remember correctly, when I left Teen Star, I was pregnant, and now, clearly, I'm not, so let me introduce you to my son, Jayden Kyle," she looks over to right stage. I kiss Clare and walk out. Jenna takes him from me and turns him to face the crowd. A chorus of "Awes" travel across the people. She kisses his forehead and hands him back to me, I take him to Clare while Jenna announces.

"Alright, our next and final song is going to be 'Before The Storm,' by Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas. Now, it took me a little while to get Eli over there to go along with this song, but I explained that I wanted to do it because I was lucky enough to meet Miley once, she came to a Next Teen Star show." She pauses as the music begins she says, "'Before The Storm,' everyone."

"_I know this isn't what I wanted,Never thought it'd come this far,Just thinking back to where we startedand how we lost all that we are__"_

She starts.

"We were young and times were easy,But I could see it's not the same.I'm standing here but you don't see me,I'd give it all for that to I don't want to lose her,I don't want to let her go."

I join in.

"_I'm standing out in the rain,I need to know if its over,Cause I will leave you alone." _Jenna starts the chorus._"Flooded with all this pain,Knowing that I'll never hold her,Like I did before the storm"_

I add in my part, her voice joining mine in the ending line._"And with every strike of lightning"_ I sing._"Comes a memory that lastsNot a word is left unspoken _

_as the thunder starts to crash"_ She starts the verse, but I finish in unison with her._"Maybe I should give up_

_I'm standing out in the rain,I need to know if its over,Cause I will leave you alone."_

She belts out, strongly

"_Flooded with all this pain,Knowing that I'll never hold her,Like I did before the storm"_ I try to sound as strong and coached as she does._"Trying to keep the light from going in"_

She continues to prove herself amazing._"And the clouds from _

_ripping out my broken always say a heart is not whole _

_without the one who gets you through the storm._

_Standing out in the rain, _

_knowing that it's really over-_

_please don't leave me aloneFlooded with all this pain, _

_knowing that I'll never hold you, _

_like I did before the storm.__"_

Our voices mingle in harmony, we finish, both or us bearing smiles. We join hands and bow once, then together say, "Thank you and have a happy and safe new year!" She kisses my cheek, softly as we had planned. Energized we go out and find out friends and family.

"New Years party at my house," I remind everyone. Adam wears a funny look. "What happened," I ask him, he bites his lip.

"I don't know, maybe you could just take me home," he suggests,

"Why don't you guys get ready to leave, Clare, take my keys and put everything in the hearse," I hang her my keys, "Come on, Adam, we're talking." I grab a hold of his sleeve and pull him towards my guitar case. I sit down in a chair and start putting my things in order. "Alright, why don't you want to stay?" I ask.

"You have Clare there, Jenna and K.C. will be there," he rolls his eyes, "And I will be just me," he sighs.

"Well if you really want to go home, I can't stop you." I say, not trying to start an argument with him.

"I think my mom would rather me home anyway," he say quietly.

"Alright, then sit up front with Clare, I'll drop you off." After we have everything in the hearse and ready to go, we leave. I take Adam home, then we all go to my house. By time we are there, it's almost eleven. My dad is in the kitchen with a sheet pizza.

"I ordered pizza," he says and walks out of the room and goes into his office. I shrug my shoulders and get paper plates for everyone to eat off of. The four of us sit at the table and eat, when we are done, its quarter to midnight.

"We can go in my room now, watch the new years show," we all go to my room and the old camping mattress is blown up and there are extra blankets there, Clare and I share the same look. "Well, you two get the air bed, Clare and I are sleeping in my bed."

"Like camping, K.C." Jenna says, he smiles a little. He hasn't said much the entire time he has been here, he seems awkward, reasonably so. We watch the show and as it gets closer, we are all standing close to the TV. Jenna and K.C. are side by side, holding hands, Clare stands in front of me, my arms draped around her shoulders, resting my head on her shoulder, our cheeks touching.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, HAPPY NEW YEAR," we shout in unison, I kiss Clare's cheek.

"I love you," I whisper, she twists in my arms so her face in just millimeters away.

"I love you too," she kisses me full, on the lips. The excitement dies down after a few minutes and we all get ready for bed. Clare and I settle in my bed, I wrap my right arm around her, pulling her close, shutting my eyes.

**SO, it was a long one. It is a little repetitive with Before The Storm, because they sing single lines and I was trying to make it clear.**


	56. NEW EPISODE

Sorry, I hope this doesn't upset you.

I just wanted to say that I have put up a site that you can talk about Degrassi.

The site is http:/ www. nightstalkerswritingcorner .webs. com

Check it out!


	57. Chapter 57: Feliz Cumpleanos!

**So sorry its been so long!**

Two short honks excite me, I grab my coat off the couch and wave out the window. Before I leave I walk into the kitchen.

"Thanks for breakfast, mom. I'll be home by eleven," I say, hoping that she doesn't argue with the time I've suggested. She smiles.

"Have fun, I love you," she approves with a nod. She puts the dish sponge down when I approach her, wrapping my arms around her.

"I love you too," I whisper, smiling when she touches my hair and kisses the top of my head like she used to. We've created a better relationship after a long talk last month, one where we talk about things, and she trusts me. I let go and head for the door. I step outside and for a mid-February afternoon its warm out, rain is falling in the form of mist. Although it feels nice, I walk quickly towards the long, black hearse parked in my driveway. I climb in the passengers side and turn to face Eli, who is only inches away from my face.

"Well, hi there," I giggle, giving him a peck on the lips.

"Happy seventeenth birthday," he puts Morty in gear and leaves my driveway.

"Are you sure you're ok with coming to dinner with my dad," I ask, knowing that they really don't like each other, at all.

"You asked me to come, I'll be good," he looks over to me, then back to the road to focus on the drive to his house.

"You don't have to. I really don't want any issues today," I press the last part..

"You have my word, I'll be as quiet as a mouse even when he suggests even the most offensive things about me. The last thing I want to do is ruin your birthday. I promise," he pulls to the curb outside his house and looks at me. "I love you," he leans close to my face and kisses my forehead, then my nose, and finally my lips. I smile and I can feel him smirk.

"Thanks for this," I express my appreciation for his understanding and commitment to making me happy. We go inside his house and his dad is sitting at the kitchen table, wearing a medium gray suit. He is holding today' news paper in his hands, and a white mug full of a dark, steaming, liquid that I assume to be coffee . He actually smiles when he looks at the door.

"Happy birthday," he says, shocking me. For a moment I stare at him, my face wearing a mask of confusion.

"Th-thank you," I smile sincerely, feeling my eyes light up a little. His dad rarely spoke to me, or Eli for that matter. I look at Eli who almost looks excited. He jerks his head toward his room, but before we start heading that way, he steps into the kitchen with one foot.

"We're going to dinner with her dad later, but until then we'll be in my room, knock if you need anything," he grabs my hand, and when his dad only nods once, he pulls me down the hall behind him. I hear him mumble under his breath, "Even though I know you won't," I ignore it and fall onto his bed, it dips in more and seems to hug me more than my own.

"That was weird," I suggest.

"Yeah, sometimes he'll just start talking to me, but only on his terms. Every time I think that he's finally done hating me, but when I try to talk back to him, he closes up again and just nods like he's hardly there." he confides. I lay flat, back on my bed, folding my hands over my stomach.

"I don't think he hates you, I don't think a parent is capable of hating their child. If he really hated you, he wouldn't give you money, keep the fridge stocked, let you live here, or anything. I mean he acts nothing of a parent for you, but he still loves you." he smiles and lays down next to me.

"This is why I love you, you look at the bigger picture. You're probably right, I mean I am the spitting image of my mother." he props himself up on his left arm.

"So what do you want to do? It's only two, so that leaves us with two hours until we have to meet up with my dad," I ask, turning my head towards him.

"Well, I can think of a few things I'd like to do," he puts his right hand on the bed, right next to my head, covering my mouth with his. Automatically my left hand goes to his espresso brown hair. I deepen the kiss, a hand finds my right hip. His fingers slip under the hem of my shirt, brushing lightly on my skin. As our connection grows stronger, his warm hand moves higher up, until he feels my ribs. He pulls his hand away and swiftly undoes the bottom button of my blouse with one hand, then returns it to my pale skin. He kisses my cheek and breathes heavily. His weight is lifted from me and lays down next to me, but closer.

"Well, that an idea," I laugh lightly. He sits up fast, startling me. At his desk, he pulls a paper out from the top drawer setting it on the desk, from what I see that its laminated. He goes to another, blocking whatever he extracts from it with his body. He comes back to me, with the item behind his back.

'I have something for you," he smirks, he holds out a bear with a red ribbon tied around its neck and holding a scroll with a yellow star attached.

"Oh, Eli, its so cute," I touch the soft fur, and pull Eli into a tight hug.

"I'm glad you like the bear, I hope you like the rest of your present," he goes and grabs the laminated sheet.

"Oh, there's more?" I ask, already satisfied.

"Of course, close your eyes," I squeeze my eyes shut and hear his steps approaching . "Open them, I know you cant wait any longer," he teases. I open my eyes and there is a certificate, it takes me a minute for me to register what it is. it's a star certificate.

"Eli," I say, not knowing what else to say. I read over the page, and he named a star "Clare Bear," after me. "You are the best, ever," I look into his eyes.

"I know," I roll my eyes at his cocky smirk and comment. "I think I have an idea to make dinner mildly easier."

"What's that?" I ask, but before I finish he has disappeared into his closet. He comes out with a medium gray button down shirt, light blue jeans, and a white t-shirt. I tilt my head.

"He doesn't like who I come off as, mostly my appearance and then there is the religion thing, and finally the fact that I am dating his little girl," he explains, the gears start turning in my head. He's right. He pulls his Dead Hand shirt over his head, and pulls the white one over. He puts his arms in the sleeves of the gray over the white and buttons it half way up, leaving white exposed. His hands move to the button of his jeans, undoing it. I look away, heat raising to my cheeks.

"You can look," he says a minute later. He looks different, the jeans have a few tears, with straight legs rather than his usual skinny legged jeans. The gray shirt is tucked in, and he shakes his head.

"Oh, my," I murmur, "I think he could like this, but for the record I liked the first outfit." I wink, jokingly. "Now that you're ready, we only have forty minutes. We could watch a little TV," I suggest.

"Alright," he turns on the end of an episode of Criminal Minds.

We meet my dad at the Italian restaurant around the corner from the school and order drinks.

"Clare, how's school?" he breaks a mildly awkward silence.

"Good only a few more months until graduation," I say, glancing at Eli. Throughout dinner Eli remained mostly quiet, ignoring any attempted jabs or put downs my dad tried with him. I thank my dad for dinner, and we say our goodbyes then we head back to Eli's house.

**So, yeah. Originally wrote this on my phone.**

**Oh god, tonight's episode, Eli crying? SAD.**


	58. Questions

Hi all! Long time no see!

Update: Skippin' class like a badass. XD

I went to the Sick Puppies concert with; Me Talk Pretty, Framing Hanley, and Adelitas Way last Tuesday (3/15/11)

IT WAS AMAZING! We got to meet Kenneth Nixon and Ryan Belcher from Framing Hanley.

We got to meet the singer and guitarist from Me Talk Pretty too, but we don't really listen to them.

Videos from the concert: http:/www. youtube .com/ user/ KatyKins769

Minus the spaces! Plus a video of two of my cats XD

So I have a proposal for everyone!

Please respond, so I can make an accurate decision?

Ok so right now I plan to finish Hearse Boy and Church Girl.

Comments or questions on that?

Then I was thinking another story following this plot line but their college experience?

Comments/questions?

I want to start updating other stories too so pick which you want done?

Leave the number for the order or just leave a couple you want updated?

1.) A Little Over A Year Ago

2.) Do Second Chances Really Matter?

3.) From Prodigy To Me

4.) Hearse boy and Church Girl

5.) St. Clare, or So They Say

I know it's a lot to ask for/about.

Let me know?

~Katy~


	59. Chapter 57

I'm sorry. I'm really not into any of these stories anymore, I've tried to get back into them but even the show hasn't been keeping my interest up as much as it used to. Maybe I'm distracted, scratch that, I am distracted. I have too much going on, I'm starting a new job and ive got some personal issues that are easier for me to write about.

If you don't completely hate me, and enjoy my writing please join my newest website where I am just putting things that I have written and things I am working on now.

I will put the link on my profile.

It would really mean a lot to me to hear from some of you guys/

Your feedback is what has encouraged me to share what I write.

Well, let me know what you are doing?

Thank you, guys, so much for everything.


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